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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to purposely expose my 2yo to chicken pox?

110 replies

TinyTheTortoise · 20/05/2014 17:56

Opinions please.
My 2 yo DD is in good health for once, but my friends child has come down with chicken pox, my other friend looks after this child for an hour or so after school while her mum works, and it's likely that her grandaughter (2yo) will already have the virus, meaning my DD could as well as they socialise every morning and every afternoon on school run, and often at least one day a week atm is spent with them. They often cuddle/hold hands too.
So the chances are my little one has already been exposed to it, and there would be nothing I could do about that. However I want to get it out of the way, and we are planning on making sure my friends child is around the 2yo all day tomorrow.. but another friend of mine thinks this is a bad idea, and I shouldn't deliberately expose her to it as it's better if she *never gets it??

*Surely she is bound to get it at some point? I've never known anyone to have never had it?

So, good people of MN, what do you think? I'm happy to hear valid arguments on both sides.

OP posts:

HolidayCriminal · 20/05/2014 18:29

YAB Very Reasonable. Get it over with at a time of your choosing when you can be well prepared rather than leave it to random chance or pursue the hassle of a vaccine. I would do the same and tried to do it, too.

ikeaismylocal · 20/05/2014 18:30

My ds's Dr advised me to purposefully let him have contact with children with chicken pox when he is a small child. She said she did the same with her children.

Her opinion is that the very tiny risk that childhood chicken pox carries is less than the risk of vaccinating, the vaccination wearing off, the person then catching chicken pox as an adult possibly when pregnant.

The only way to tell if you need a booster is to have your immunity checked, otherwise children who are vaccinated should have a booster every 5 years throughout their lives.

As the UK doesn't have a national chicken pox vaccination scheme the chance of coming into contact with chicken pox is very high, other things that we are vaccinated against are mostly very rare due to national vaccination.

Ledkr · 20/05/2014 18:32

No.
My ds had septicaemia from it, very ill.
Dd is 3 and hasn't had it, I'm hoping she might not but if she does at least I know I couldn't have prevented it.

AllThatGlistens · 20/05/2014 18:32

It scares me that people still think these god awful 'parties' are a good idea.

no no no and no again. Complications are fairly rare but absolutely horrendous.

DoJo · 20/05/2014 18:45

My ds's Dr advised me to purposefully let him have contact with children with chicken pox when he is a small child. She said she did the same with her children.

And there are plenty of doctors who are in favour of vaccination too as it is just an opinion based on their preferences - my GP had her kids vaccinated and supported my decision to vaccinate my son.

Although I am curious that she was concerned that vaccinating your son could lead to him catching it when possibly pregnant...

ikeaismylocal · 20/05/2014 18:58

Her children are daughters.

I'm sure some drs are pro vaccination, my point really was that on mumsnet people who mention purposeful chicken pox exposure are often met with really extreme reactions and how would you ever forgive yourself questions. As there are even Drs who would choose exposure for their own children I don't think such an extreme reaction is warranted.

mercibucket · 20/05/2014 19:03

wow

people still do this??

hope it doesnt end like it did for us. encephalitis and m.e. (2 out of 4 of us)

Chickenschicken · 20/05/2014 19:27

I dont get it, I was reading the CP vaccination threads and lots of people on there said it makes more sense to get it naturally as a child rather than an adult. All the people who'd had cp as an adult said how much worse it was. Especially as the vaccine needs regular boosters anyway.
And there's always the pregnancy arguement.

VIPissArtist · 20/05/2014 19:39

As there are even Drs who would choose exposure for their own children I don't think such an extreme reaction is warranted

There are doctors who express surprise when told a child is very ill with chicken pox..there are doctors who are alcoholics and pill poppers, there are doctors who would not contemplate natural labour and go for sections...
Doctors are General Practitioners.

My DD was floppy in my arms, her whole body was inflamed, she was burning to the touch, my only consolation was thank god I have not deliberate given her this.

I know a few people actually as a small straw poll whose DC were ill with complications.

wobblyweebles · 20/05/2014 19:40

If you've had the vaccine then even if you get CP in adulthood you will get a much milder version, so the risks are still much lower.

VIPissArtist · 20/05/2014 19:40

Your dc will get it probably at some time, why not wait until it happens naturally...

wobblyweebles · 20/05/2014 19:41

And btw the vaccine works well enough here in the US that in my 7 years here there has not been a single case of chickenpox in any of the four different schools and two nurseries that my children have attended.

NobodyLivesHere · 20/05/2014 19:51

I wouldn't purposely go round, but I wouldn't avoid contact either. It's chicken pox, in the vast majority of cases it's a mild illness. My kids were all exposed and came to school with me and shopping if I had no one to watch then etc. I know there are people who will call me all sorts for that but I'm a single parent and they were spotty for 6 weeks between them. No choice but to get on with life.

Fairylea · 20/05/2014 19:56

I can't understand people willing their dc to catch it. As others have said it can be extremely serious.

And not everyone gets it... dd is 11 and touch wood she has never had it, neither have I at the grand age of 34.

PrincessBabyCat · 20/05/2014 20:01

I got chicken pox very mild one summer with all my cousins. Now that I think about it, it was probably deliberate that we all got it as the same time. Most of my cousins got it mildly, but my poor brother got it terrible. It was so bad they were in his throat, and he couldn't eat.

But more to the point, do you really want to be taking care of a miserable, itchy, cranky toddler? Why not just get a vaccine and spare her the trouble?

My dad had chicken pox as a kid and still got shingles a little while later. Catching it doesn't always prevent adult cases.

PandaFeet · 20/05/2014 20:07

My 18month old ended up in hospital for 3 nights when she got chicken pox.

It was really scary, and she has a scar on her lip and two by her ear. I hope they fade in time.

Please don't do it on purpose, if something bad happens you would never forgive yourself.

ikeaismylocal · 20/05/2014 20:09

The vaccine works well in the US because it is given to the majority of the population, I would choose the vaccine if I lived in a country where it was given to most people.

The research I read showed that chicken pox was just as likely to be servere for an adult who had had the vaccine as a child but not had regular boosters, so more dangerous than an unvacinated child getting chicken pox. If you are willing to insist on 5 yearly boosters even when your child is and adult I think the vaccine is a good idea, but I'd hate to be insisting my grown up children have a vaccination every 5 years.

Chicken pox sounds really terrible which is why I have looked into the pros and cons of vaccination, in the country I live in I don't think vaccination is the safest option especially if I have a daughter.

I don't see how not willfully exposing a child to chicken pox makes it any less terrible, the vast majority of people who are not vaccinated catch chicken pox in childhood. I would actually feel worse if I had the option to take ds to play with "poxy" friends when he was well and I decided not to and he then went on to get chicken pox when he was already run down as I imagine a run down child would be more likely to have complications.

ikeaismylocal · 20/05/2014 20:10

dd is 11 and touch wood she has never had it

I assume you will be getting her vacinated before she is old enough to get pregnant?

honeybeeridiculous · 20/05/2014 20:14

YABU
I know someone who died from chickenpox complications, it was awful

Revenant · 20/05/2014 20:16

My mother used to do this in the hope i would catch it and get it over with, I haven't yet had it and I'm 42, so it isn't inevitable that everyone gets it (well not yet anyway).

expatinscotland · 20/05/2014 20:21

That would be very, very, very, very stupid. YABU.

VIPissArtist · 20/05/2014 20:25

I don't see how not willfully exposing a child to chicken pox makes it any less terrible

If you held your terribly sick child in your arms, wondering if it was going to her brain and make her brain damaged, you would know.

ikeaismylocal · 20/05/2014 20:35

I think you either choose to vaccinate your child and continue to give boosters or you hope they catch chicken pox as a child. Anyone who chooses not to vaccinate their child is taking the gamble that their child won't be affected badly by chicken pox regardless of if the parent knowingly exposes their child to chicken pox.

My child has had a severe reaction to a usually harmless illness, he was in hospital for a week. Having a severely ill child is horrible, I really don't think if I had researched and decided that for my children the best option was to catch chicken pox as a child I would feel more terrible if they became seriously ill.

Janethegirl · 20/05/2014 20:39

I got chickenpox as an adult at the same time as my toddler, I was much more affected than my dc. Personally I wouldn't wish chickenpox on an adult, even those I truly detest .

LoveSardines · 20/05/2014 20:47

Vaccine? We weren't offered a vaccine

Around here the children all get chicken pox...

I'm a bit confused by this thread! My little one is only 4! Not 20 or something!

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