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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think if you book a day off work your colleagues shouldn't ask what you are doing?

40 replies

livelifememories · 19/05/2014 23:46

We are short staffed at the moment, which unfortunately means when booking holiday it can only be one person off per day.

I have been waiting 3 weeks to book one day off and I finally have Friday booked off (arranged last week) and I have had two colleagues come and ask me to un-book so they can have it off and pretty much try and make me feel guilty.

I haven't been able to book a day off because of other people but I wouldn't dream of asking them why they needed that day off and can they un-book it.

Aibu to think that if you want to book a day off and it's already taken then that is much tough luck?

OP posts:

Janethegirl · 19/05/2014 23:51

No if you booked it first, it's nothing to do with your work colleagues why you need the day off. You could be spending it asleep and it's totally your choice and option.!

Littledidsheknow · 19/05/2014 23:52

Just smile and say "No, sorry" then walk away. You were there first and had waited for it, don't even begin to feel or act apologetic.

forago · 19/05/2014 23:53

just say you can't cos you've got an interview

forago · 19/05/2014 23:53

just say you can't cos you've got an interview

LackaDAISYcal · 19/05/2014 23:53

Depends on the circs. If you were a close knit team, then re-arranging to help someone with an important appointment etc would be the right thing to do. And I suppose they are trying to guage whether their need is greater than yours.

But, it doesn't sound like you are particularly close knit; when I have worked in offices with others, we usually all knew what the others were planning for their days off

stealthsquiggle · 19/05/2014 23:53

Apart from the MN mantra of "no is a complete sentence", I would go with "sorry no. Stuff to do which can't be changed" and refuse to elaborate further. It's none of anyone's business.

Original poster

livelifememories · 19/05/2014 23:54

Sorry that should say *just tough luck.

Thanks for the replies. I just feel worse when they lay a guilt trip on me.

One has even sent me a message on facebook (we are not even fb friends.)

OP posts:

Original poster

livelifememories · 19/05/2014 23:56

If you were a close knit team, then re-arranging to help someone with an important appointment etc

We are close, and I do like them. But I do actually have an important meeting that morning and I don't want to ask to rearrange as the person is doing me a huge favour.

OP posts:

LadyWithLapdog · 19/05/2014 23:58

Most people wouldn't be thick skinned enough to do it. Perhaps they're desperate? Very annoying as it can get messy with favours given and not returned etc.

Bloodyteenagers · 20/05/2014 00:01

I get asked once and then i start giving sarcastic answers - going to shag all day as the dc's will be in school went down well. Going away... Look you don't need to know my reason, but let's get this straight i am taking the day off and I will not change it. If you don't like this go and talk to the boss about withdrawing everyone's leave. But I will not be guilt tripped. As for the cheeky fucker using fb, will be told straight to fuck off and stop harassing me.

manicinsomniac · 20/05/2014 00:12

depends on how they ask, I think.

I don't think there's anything wrong with checking with someone if they need that specific day off or if any day will do. If you don't ask you don't get and someone who's just booked a day off because they have a day to use would be more than happy to swap with someone else who needed that exact day.

But you shouldn't have to give them any reasons. The fact that you've said no, you want that day specifically should be enough for them and if they continue to push after that they are BU.

LackaDAISYcal · 20/05/2014 00:20

You don't sound like you're all that close, but that's probably borne of frustration! Just say No, you have something that has been rearranged twice and can't change again.

But I don't think they are being unreasonable in asking what you are up to, and you aren't being unreasonable in not wanting to tell them.

Perhaps this needs to be raised with management? Days off final, no swapping. That would solve the issues if no-one was allowed to swap.

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat · 20/05/2014 00:25

Also depends if everyone gets a fair chance at the days off. Just because someone is anal organised enough to book a day off, far in advance, it shouldn't mean that no one else gets a look in at popular times of year, such as just before bank holidays to make a really long weekend .

Everyone should get a fair chance to use their leave up and not be left with the dregs, like Tuesdays in November instead of Fridays in the summer.

Pumpkinpositive · 20/05/2014 07:19

One has even sent me a message on facebook (we are not even fb friends.)

Lol. I hope you blocked her.

slartybartfast · 20/05/2014 07:22

i spose they might be desperate, it is a bank holiday weekend so perhaps they wanted a longer weekend.
as for facebook, ignore

Thumbwitch · 20/05/2014 07:27

God the cheek of some people never ceases to amaze me. Why should your holiday needs be superseded by theirs? Unless they have some dire family emergency, in which case it should make no difference that you have a day off because they should get time anyway, I can't see what could be so necessary to them that they both felt your holiday was unimportant enough that you should just cancel it.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 20/05/2014 07:27

You've been waiting 3 weeks for one day off.

You got first dibs on the day you wanted so don't give in to a laid on guilt trip.

'I'm not giving Friday up to anyone' see you Tuesday' and walk away .

ChaosTrulyReigns · 20/05/2014 07:34

Have they explained why their needs are more important than your own? I'll bet they're not.

DragonMamma · 20/05/2014 07:34

YANBU, the cheeky sods.

I work with the most dreadful woman and she got the hump when she realised I'd booked this Friday and next Tuesday off. As if it's any of her business!

Andrewofgg · 20/05/2014 07:41

Smile sweetly and explain that your gift voucher for a company which organises unicorn hunts is only valid that one day. That should get the message through to them.

Undercurrent · 20/05/2014 07:44

Ask them why they need it off. Once they've told you say that your 'appointment' is more pressing than theirs.

Glastokitty · 20/05/2014 07:50

Just say you have plans. Thats what I do and it seems to work. They dont know that my plan involves lounging in a hammock all day reading a book.

elQuintoConyo · 20/05/2014 07:54

But, don't they know it's for George Clooney's rehearsal dinner? You ought to tell them, OP, it's only fair to spread such joy

Don't change. Don't explain. Cheeky buggers.

Casmama · 20/05/2014 07:54

I don't think this is a big deal- there is obviously a lot of pressure on annual leave and you have managed to book a day a couple of others would quite like. Just say no sorry, I have something on but I don't see that they are doing anything that terrible by asking.

HayDayQueen · 20/05/2014 08:11

Oh, the Friday before a long weekend! No wonder they're asking you. They're trying to get away for a 4 day weekend.

Still doesn't make it right though.

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