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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think if you book a day off work your colleagues shouldn't ask what you are doing?

40 replies

livelifememories · 19/05/2014 23:46

We are short staffed at the moment, which unfortunately means when booking holiday it can only be one person off per day.

I have been waiting 3 weeks to book one day off and I finally have Friday booked off (arranged last week) and I have had two colleagues come and ask me to un-book so they can have it off and pretty much try and make me feel guilty.

I haven't been able to book a day off because of other people but I wouldn't dream of asking them why they needed that day off and can they un-book it.

Aibu to think that if you want to book a day off and it's already taken then that is much tough luck?

OP posts:

flipchart · 20/05/2014 08:20

Sometimes people at my work book random days to make a longer weekend and are not doing anything special. If another member of staff wants the same day they have been known to ask. The person who has booked the day will say either, sorry I need that day or it's ok I can book another. What's the harm in that.

Nobody gets offended or upset. Why would they? No harm in asking. Even though there can only be two off at once our managers will try to accomadate another person if it is really important. ( swopping rest days round, give the person that day off but they work a premium shift somewhere else, offer unpaid leave)

I don't think it is 'tough luck' for the other person. If everyone is reasonable most things can be accomadated.

TiggyD · 20/05/2014 08:35

Tell them you have to go to court for murdering the last person to ask you to swap holidays.

TiggyD · 20/05/2014 08:36

They were being reasonable to ask you if you minded swapping, but after you made it clear you had plans they're being unreasonable to put any pressure on you.

EBearhug · 20/05/2014 08:42

I don't think it's a problem asking if you can swap - I've had days off I could easily rearrange; others have been for specific reasons which can't be rearranged. But if you say no, that's the end of it - you booked first, so you get priority, and what you do on your day off is your choice, not theirs.

WhoDaresWins · 20/05/2014 11:45

It's fair enough to ask to swap but they should take no for an answer and its rude for them to ask what you're doing and then try to make a judgement on whether that's more important than what they want to do.

PrincessBabyCat · 20/05/2014 11:54

If it's a true emergency they'll "catch the flu" that morning.

Don't feel guilty about it.

MrsSkilly · 20/05/2014 12:03

My company allows us to have our birthday off as an extra day holiday. Unfortunately, my colleague and I have the same birthday so it's always tricky deciding who gets the day off. We have always compromised but think one day the shit could hit the fan.

Under these circumstances, it's none of your colleagues business what you're doing with your day off. You booked it first and that's all there is to it.

TheToysAreALIVEITellThee · 20/05/2014 12:19

Well, me and my work colleagues get on pretty well so we have done this and arranged it between us that the person with the most "need" has the day off.

iK8 · 20/05/2014 12:27

Sooo, what are you doing and what do they want to do?

I think it's fine to ask to see if someone could swap but with the caveat that if the swap is declined you accept it and take it with good grace. It is also very rude to ask someone with a booked day off why they need it off or to justify it and is unnecessary to the asking.

Vintagejazz · 20/05/2014 14:08

I wouldn't mind someone asking me if I'd be in a position to change my day off. And would be willing to oblige if I wasn't doing anything important and they really needed that day. However, if they hassled me or started demanding that I facilitate them I would be very annoyed.

CaptainHammer · 20/05/2014 16:33

They aren't being unreasonable to ask to swap, but to go on about it is unreasonable!!

drspouse · 20/05/2014 17:08

Oh this annoys me, and ours isn't even a case of people wanting me to fill in. We have an admin person who handles all AL requests and sick leave and everything and someone (either she, or our current line manager who is a bit micromanaging to put it mildly) decided that we should also post on our internal bulletin board that we are off and the official line is "whether it's AL or not".

Now everyone posts every 5 seconds to say "waiting in for the gas man for an hour, will make up the time later" (must have been agreed by line manager/admin person) or "on holiday to the Isle of Skye, won't be on email" (helpful to know that no email access even in emergency, which is something people do assume, NOT helpful to tell us where!) or "still have white spots on my tonsils, won't be in till Thursday" (thanks for TMI but no thanks!) or "working from home today and tomorrow morning on X admin task" (we don't CARE you know, again must have been approved by line manager, and it's very common to work from home when you can).

I got so annoyed by this after a spell of sick leave that I asked the line manager if I really needed to do this as explicitly as everyone else does - turns out he hadn't really thought it through and it seems to have turned into one-upmanship - privately a couple of colleagues have also said they don't buy in to this.

So now I just say whether I'll be available to be contacted or not and I do say if it's a longer period of AL (but for e.g. half a day to meet our adoption social worker I just get approval from boss/admin person and say "at a meeting, will check email in the afternoon").

NoImSpartacus · 20/05/2014 17:31

Tell them to get fucked .... none of their business. Why do some people think their needs are more important than others...

falulahthecat · 20/05/2014 18:05

Do not, I repeat do not - let them make you feel guilty! You will let someone else down if you rearrange, you got their first, you WANT to go to this meeting, sometimes it really is just tough luck for other people, you can't always be nice, and I suspect if they're even asking you to do this then you're probably too nice! Plus, which one gets the day off? Are you meant to pick? Or will one of them still be disappointed anyways?!
YANBU!

EBearhug · 20/05/2014 22:12

"still have white spots on my tonsils, won't be in till Thursday" (thanks for TMI but no thanks!)

I had a manager who was keen on everyone knowing exactly why people were off. It's things like that which tempt me to tell them full detail of my severe menstrual cramps or just how my upset stomach is manifesting itself. I never quite succumbed to temptation.

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