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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS comes home with injury, preschool know nothing.

33 replies

FreeSpirit89 · 19/05/2014 18:24

My DS is 4 and attends a local nursery twice a week, when I went to collect him he has a biggish graze on his chest. Just above the belly about an inch below the nipple.

When I mentioned it to nursary staff they knew nothing about it? Hadn't realised he had done it. Despite the fact it's rather red, and puffy. DS brought it to my attention complained he was hurt.

The staff apologised, and said accidents happen. But didn't even log it in the accident. WIBU to make a complaint and who to

OP posts:
SummerRain · 19/05/2014 18:26

Kids bash themselves all the time and quite often don't even notice until it starts to hurt later on. I don't think the nursery have done anything wrong tbh.

Hulababy · 19/05/2014 18:28

Did he tell them he had hurt himself? Did he cry when it was done?

They simply may well have not known if he has done it and not mentioned it. Often when children are playing and are busy they will get cuts and grazes and not even acknowledge it themselves. It's sometimes only later when they are no longer busy, or it rubs on something, and especially when mummy or daddy are around they will notice it.

afterthought · 19/05/2014 18:28

Does your son know how he did it? If not it may have been a really minor unnoticeable bump.

Hulababy · 19/05/2014 18:28

Re complaint.

What would your complaint be about? Which aspect?

Bardette · 19/05/2014 18:28

If he hadn't told them how would they know? I assume it was covered by his clothing.

CrohnicallyHungry · 19/05/2014 18:29

How could they log it in the accident book if they didn't know what happened? Did DS tell them he was hurt? If not then I'm afraid YABU, they can't watch all of the children all of the time. You need to tell DS that he needs to tell someone if he is hurt.

Original poster
FreeSpirit89 · 19/05/2014 18:31

Just the fact they didn't notice, when I showed them the mark. They said they'd been playing out in the little woods, It does look like he caught it in a branch maybe. But I feel they should be watching them more closely in that situation. The class isn't overly large, and I can't fathom why no one saw it.

And the fact it should have been out in the accident book.

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 19/05/2014 18:31

Isn't a possibility he just tripped up and got back up again before the staff even noticed??

He's a toddler - don't they innocently fall over all the time?

I certainly wouldn't be making a complaint, it's a bit OTT!!

Hulababy · 19/05/2014 18:35

It is very easy for a minor accident to happen without being noticed. All it takes is to be looking in the opposite direction at the exact time it happens. Noone will be observing one particular child 100% of the time.

Even when it is a 1:1 ratio things can easily be missed. When the ratio is upped to 6:1 or higher then obviously more and more will be missed.

If your child didn't cry or comment at the time then they simply will have not known. It isn't a deliberate thing to ignore your child if he was in pain.

I assume your child will be off to school in September. At times the ratio may well be 30 children to 1 adult. Unless there are particular needs or difficulties your child will not be observed constantly. If he needs help he will need to tell a grown up.

jeee · 19/05/2014 18:35

How do the nursery know that the mark wasn't there when you dropped him off this morning? If they didn't see an incident, they have no way of knowing when it happened.

Hulababy · 19/05/2014 18:35

It wasn;t in the accident book because noone had seen it or knew about it I presume.

AryaOfHouseSnark · 19/05/2014 18:41

My Dts are constantly getting cuts grazes and bruises that are unexplained. I don't know if they happen at home, nursery or else where. It really can't be helped, I don't think they will log it in there accident book as they have no way of knowing where or how it happened. They might log the injury though.

At least you got a sensible answer out of him, I usually get a dinosaur bit me, or an eagle scratched me.

EasyTigeress · 19/05/2014 18:48

My daughter gets bumps, bruises and scrapes all the time. It can happen when she is in my care and i don't always notice unless she tells me. Sometime she does, sometimes she doesn't. It's the same at nursery and I honestly think complaining is overkill and pointless.

If it was something serious or obvious then I would query it but a scrape under clothes? Definitely not.

mousmous · 19/05/2014 18:52

dc 4y has so many bruises, bumps and grazes all over I can't quite remember what skin colour they are supposed to have :o

it's that age, they play and unless it really hurts or it's bleeding plaing is more important.

OwlCapone · 19/05/2014 18:53

If he didn't complain at the time and it was covered by his top, how were they meant to notice?

FrigginRexManningDay · 19/05/2014 18:54

Kids have accidents in the blink of an eye at home or at nursery. He will no doubt get many more bumps and scrapes you have no idea how they happened.

scarletforya · 19/05/2014 18:55

They can't write up an accident report if they didn't see it.

longtallsally2 · 19/05/2014 18:55

Oh bless, is he your first child, by any chance?

This isn't something to worry about if they have been playing outside in woods. Sounds like a lovely nursery.

If he had been complaining and crying all day and they had failed to investigate, fair enough, but if it wasn't sufficient to distress him at nursery then it's just one of those things.

ikeaismylocal · 19/05/2014 18:58

Yabu. He is 4, he is old enough to tell you ( and his teacher) what happened. It obviously wasn't that bad orhe would have told a teacher.

If I had an injury needing medical attention I could understand your concern but I think your massively overreacting over a graze.

RedSpringer · 19/05/2014 18:59

I am always noticing bumps or marks on my 2yr old & I haven't a clue how she did it & she hasn't mentioned it. I def wouldn't think of complaining if it happened at nursery.

missingwordsround · 19/05/2014 19:15

a graze?

seriously?

I don't think it warrants a complaint. If you don't have a good relationship with the nursery staff, and don't trust them, it does beg the question as to why you would leave your child in their care?

Maybe you need to change nursery?

WoodBurnerBabe · 19/05/2014 19:25

My kids come home from school and preschool with grazes and bruises quite often. They are all 3 hardy things that will not always complain when they get hurt, so if no one sees it happen and they don't complain, what are the staff supposed to do?

CrohnicallyHungry · 19/05/2014 19:31

I even managed to miss when DD scraped her little knees- she's 1 1/2 and fell over on the way out of nursery. I scooped her up, dusted her off and carried on. It wasn't till a few hours later and I changed her nappy that I saw her red raw bleeding knees. She hadn't cried so I presumed she wasn't hurt.

If I can miss a bleeding injury when I was right there in a 1:1 situation, how can you expect your DS's teachers to notice in a group setting? Hell, I am covered in bruises and scrapes that I have no clue how I did!

MrsCakesPremonition · 19/05/2014 19:36

All that needs to happen is for you to give your DS a little chat about telling the adult who is looking after him if he bumps himself.

I assume he is starting school in September, so he needs to start being able to tell his carers if he has a problem (rather than waiting and hoping they notice without him saying anything).

MinesAPintOfTea · 19/05/2014 19:39

If they're playing in the woods, do you expect a nursery worker to throughly check every child every time they brush a twig? Including under their clothing?

They watch for major accidents and upset children, not every scratch.