To think there is nothing "weird and disgusting" about being naked around a baby

[MissPennySweet]

A twat friend was telling me about two women (lesbians) she knows who have just had a baby and saying that they like to spend time lying in bed topless with the baby (one mum breastfeeding). She said she thinks it's "weird and disgusting" that the other mum would "expose" herself to the baby when she's not using her boobs to feed. I pointed out since the baby is very new they probably want to establish skin to skin contact with both parents and that it's no different to a baby lying on a mans chest.

AIBU to think this is fine and my friend is a raving nutjob?

No haha I wondered that too, I assume they mentioned it to her?

or she has been peering through their bedroom window

I should have mentioned to her that I have a lesbian couple as friends and one of them gave birth to their baby using the other ones egg, that would mind blow her

My DD is nearly 7, I'm naked around her most of the time, ffs its just a body, who gives a fuck.

Though she does sound like a raging homophobic, she's probably convinced the baby might catch gay or something stupid.

whynowblowwind, could you say why you feel uncomfortable with your DH being naked around the baby?

Not really to be honest :) you know when you KNOW it isn't rational but you just don't like it? It feels faintly inappropriate, I can't really articulate why.

It's probably because we're socially trained to see a naked body as a purely sexual thing. When, in fact, that's a lot of bollocks pardon the pun

I think it actually seems very sweet to have two parents (of either gender) having skin to skin contact with a baby.

Can't understand why it would be sexually inappropriate unless someone is waving their bits in the baby's face . Boobs are for feeding (or cuddling).

That's probably right, wee. Not that it is wrong, whynow, it's how you feel after all. There does become a point where it possibly is inappropriate - if I've learned anything from MN recently it is that there is a very, very fine line between what one person considers appropriate and another certainly does not flashbacks to any thread involving toddlers, peeing and wiping

Babies like being naked, and they like being cuddled by naked people. Particularly their parents. OH used to cuddle dd with his shirt off, used to calm her right down as a newborn.
The only danger is non feeding mum might get a very hungry mouth latching on. Ouch!

I don't see the problem.

Is your friend a parent. Not sure this is homophobia rather than just not realising what is normal around yiur own children. Before having them id never have guessed id happily strip off in front of a seven year old.

It sounds really warm and cosy - just what a baby needs

Friend is a single mum of one. I gather from what she's previously said that she's comfortable being naked around her own DS and is fine with the breastfeeding parents nakedness, it's the non breastfeeding mum she has a problem with .

Yanbu.

There's nothing wrong with being nude around children, but sadly the staff in the soft play area disagreed and called the police to remove me.

My friends are gay and they both managed to breastfeed the baby. God knows how the non birth mum managed to get milk with no pregnancy.

compos what?!

Compos need more info.

Compos!

compos were they not your children?

ICanSeeTheSun - had the other mum had a baby previously? I've heard that it is possible to lactate in that situation, with some effort, but I don't think it can be done if your body hasn't done it before IYSWIM?

Don't mean to derail the thread and go completely off topic but it's got me thinking about the dynamic between lesbian parents. I guess I feel like I'd feel a bit threatened if there was another woman wanting to "mother" my imaginary baby, in a way I wouldn't with a man. Or does their love for one another override this?

ICanSeeTheSun, I wonder how that works? Does anyone know?

It's actually really annoyed me what she's said. Friend tried to justify it by saying she (the non birth mum) is not the parent though - erm since they are in a CP and she's named on the birth certificate I'm pretty sure she is the parent

I had no idea you could be named on a birth certificate if you have no genetic link to the child? Obviously it happens quite frequently with men, I imagine, but they could at least theoretically have fathered the child. Do you really get birth certificates naming 2 women as the parents?

It did take a while, they hired an NHS type breast pump which I think she used to encourage the milk.

I will Try and google it

It can be done with certain drugs and hormones:

www.asklenore.info/breastfeeding/resources/gazette_nov2002.shtml

Nipple stimulation and breast pump by the look of google.
Fascinating stuff. I wonder how you're friend would react if they both fed baby?

Do you really get birth certificates naming 2 women as the parents?

Why wouldn't you? They're both the adoptive parent??