to be upset about DH's dream

[Bluelining]

Hello mumsnet!

Please be gentle. I'm a long time lurker - hamwich, bedside beaker etc - no baby yet.

DH is currently working away. We decided that I would stop the pill, and leave it to luck when he is back ie not actively try.

So DH tells me about a dream he had. He dreamt he came back home to me and baby. And that I had not taken care of baby, and left it in a room on its own for a week.

AIBU to be upset about this? I feel that subconsciously DH does not trust me to take care of baby.

bluelining

YABU (although it's understandable).

People have the weirdest dreams

He's probably just a little excited and anxious about the responsibility of you both being parents.

It's not a slight on you. If he thought you were neglectful, I'm quite sure he wouldn't be planning a family with you.

It's more likely to be a dream about anxiety that he left you (and potentially a baby) on your own while he was away for work. His feeling of abandoning the baby not worries about you.

I half knew IWBU. But point taken re excitement and anxiety.

YABVU to be upset about something he had a dream about - unless you think he's trying to broach a genuine concern and coming at it sideways iyswim - and claiming it was a dream, in which case that's a mahoosive red flag and you should LTB

MrsWolowitz it was not said in a nasty way. We tell each other our dreams when we are away.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance

I have a recurring nightmare that I go out to my parents outbuildings and find 2 of my old ponies that I forgot I still owned and they have been in their for years starving and filthy, the guilt is huge.

I have never and would never neglect an animal. It tends to occur when I am worrying about something or feeling pressured by something I can't control. I would suspect the unknown and fear of becoming a dad led tothis If he gengenuinely didn't trust you would he even tell you the dream??

*there

I dreamt that I had twin girls

It's only a dream! Among other things I've dreamed that ...

• I was being eaten alive by a fox, while my vet dad (who IRL is an architect) was tending to a sick horse.
• I came home to find my then husband in my bed with another man ... and thought it was hot.
• I was having to perform in a dance competition with my boss as my partner, and that he didn't seem to mind that I cannot dance my way out of a wet paper bag.
• I was the midwife as my mother gave birth to a baby girl - whom I caught in a potty.
• ...

Your brain does funny things while you're asleep. Don't worry about it! :)

Ywb -a bit- U
It's just a dream but I get why you were a little upset.
If it makes you feel better I've dreamt, more than once, that Dh and I had a baby and while on a ferry (we travel quite often by ferry) HE accidently drops the baby overboard :)

CarbeDiem he did what? LTB I get your point. This makes me feel better.

This dream appears to be based upon one of man's oldest fears, namely that something awful will befall his family while he's away from home and unable to protect them.

It's no reflection upon your husband's faith in you.

Don't worry.

Hmmm, when I was pregnant the first time I had loads of dreams about my nearest and dearest dropping the (as yet unborn) baby (myself included). It's just your dh gearing up for the many, many responsibilities and terrors of parenthood. Very natural and normal. Good luck with trying(/not actively trying) and enjoy any future babies!

Sometimes we dream the things we fear the most even if we know it won't happen.

I had a dream about having sex with Lee Marvin (and he's dead), but my DH got upset. Shall i dream next time about somebody alive?

Blue
I've considered it, how can I trust the one I love when he repeatedly drops our, yet unborn or even conceived child into the freezing depths of the North sea bastard :)
Glad it helped.

Just sounds like an anxiety dream. Iirc other people in dreams are aspects of yourself, so he's anxious of the responsibility of a new baby.

Or something....

It is a little unreasonable, that dream could have many meanings ie like he fells like he left you to deal with it alone etc, if you think that's bad just wait till you have pregnancy dreams. Ooft now there is some weird dreams, dreamt I gave birth to a toad wind in the willows style that I had quad boys all like tom sawyer, I was having an affair with one of the farmhands, arrested for unlawful carnal knowledge in the pre war era by DH but the worst one was the eurotrash sized boobs I dreamt I had just before DS1 was born

Just wait until you're pregnant and having really really vivid dreams. I could have sworn some of the dreams I had when pregnant were real.
I had loads of lucid dreams too but I couldn't fly because I was too fat being pregnant
Just off topic a little - you can train yourself to have lucid dreams by holding your nose (when awake) and trying to breathe in occasionally. Obviously you can't breathe in in real life but eventually your dream self will start doing it and you can still breathe in your dreams! It also works with turning on the spot - in a dream, you end up elsewhere!