To not want my DH to send this text?

[TruJay]

So my husband recently told me his boss is having an affair and that he talks about it regularly at work.

DH has just received a text from his boss asking him to send a message inviting him out for a drink ending it with "thanks I'll owe you one". Obviously so that he can go meet his other woman.

I have said I will not be happy if DH sends this text as it's f***g disgusting and morally wrong! He says he agrees but doesn't want his boss being arsey with him on Monday.

Now I understand that but in my opinion his boss shouldn't even be discussing his dirty little secret with his colleagues let alone asking them to provide him with a bloody alibi!

And why my DH? There is a team of 7, some of which have also joined in on the discussion of affairs, sharing there own shitty tales of what they've done behind their wives back. Why doesn't he ask one of them?
If I am ever in this situation, to find out a colleague of my DH did this to cover his back I would feel sodding humiliated!

I really don't think I'm BU, WWYD??

The next closest person in age still has a gap of about 15/16 years.

He says its mostly at lunch time, the 'banter' usually starts and boss will comment he's been with other woman blah blah blah. Other colleagues will then say oh way back when i did this to DW/did that etc etc.

DH says he doesn't really say anything and they don't ask his opinion. He says its not his business to tell them what they should/shouldn't be doing. I guess they could see it as him condoning what they do as he doesn't say anything. He has also left the canteen when these discussions start too so as not to get involved.
He said he's also had a comment made to him "we don't all have a wife like yours/wait until u have been married as long as us"

its such a shame too as he does really like his colleagues, i do too to be fair (adultery/being bastards to their partners aside)

Sorry I guess I've been in to many situations where I've felt trapped by two people shoving me in opposite directions

If the boss does get arsy then I would be going straight to HR to complain and if he is worried for his job then that needs addressing too.

Well yes, "not seeing" the text until it's too late for a reply to be of use is the way to go but I can't be the only person who's a bit at the boss asking your DH if there are 7 other people who he knows would be more sympathetic to his request.

What did DH do? Sorry if I missed it - I did RTT!

He never replied and we got a takeaway and carried on with our evening!

He's on his way to work now so will see what happens.

Our point exactly marathon why my DH? But as PPs have said we don't know boss didn't text a few people in hopes of a reply from any of them.

It all seems a bit strange to me. If DH got a text from a friend/colleague asking him out for a drink he wouldn't need to show it to me to prove he'd got it. He'd just tell me and we'd agree (or not) that it was Ok for him to go.

If boss has got to the stage where he needs an actual text to show his DW (rather than just telling her he's had one IYSWIM) then she already knows about the affair.

marathon we've said the same, DW must already know. He has had what mumsnet call an emotional affair previously and boss had already mentioned at work that wife was acting suspicious so yes it's at the point of checking phones

And to go out for a drink with work colleagues is very out of character, none of them socialise out of work and DH has been there 6 years.

Anyway, had update from DH he told boss this morning that he wasn't happy being asked to do that and would appreciate him not to involve him in the future. Boss then apologised to him saying after he'd sent the text he knew it was wrong and he shouldn't have done it and will not do it again. DH didn't even mention me as the excuse. And boss acting completely normal so all is good.

Thank you for all your responses x