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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

....to think 8/9 yr olds should not have their own iPads or Smart Phones?

111 replies

Poopoopeedoo · 17/05/2014 19:13

My son just informed me that a good number of kids in his class of 8-9 yr olds are being given iPads for their birthdays and one already has an iPhone of his own.
Is this the norm now? I feel like perhaps I am just an old-fashioned stick in da mud but SERIOUSLY?? At 9 yrs old??
I just want to know if I should continue to dig heals in or if I am, in fact, the only UNREASONABLE parent here! He has access to DH´s ipad and our iphones intermittently btw, but I never imagined getting him his own till he was ...oh I don´t know...16!!
What say you, wise Mnetters??

OP posts:

FloozeyLoozey · 19/05/2014 10:12

Look, if you don't want to give your child an ipad, don't, it doesn't make you unreasonable. But neither does it make other parents unreasonable if they chose to, they have simply made different choices to you.

I hate these sorts of threads. There's no right or wrong answer, just different parental choices.

Swannery · 19/05/2014 10:13

My DCs don't have anything (oldest is 11). Their lives are extremely busy, with loads of activities, going out, homework etc. I don't see how they could fit in playing on tablets or phones whatever without it having an adverse impact on other, IMO more important stuff. In the car we chat, listen to music or audio stories together, play games. I'd be sad if that stopped as the DCs spent time in their own little world on devices.

erin99 · 19/05/2014 10:18

Don't most children claim that everyone else has got whatever it is they are after though? If you want to know if they do, actually, all have their own you'd need to ask to the parents.

Mine don't, but i suspect we will crack before my youngest (now 5) is 9.

SoFishy · 19/05/2014 10:26

There's a big difference between a phone (take it everywhere communication device) and an ipad (multifunctional, very education activity centre). Both my DC have ipads, they are 8 and 4. Because there is so much they can do on them, including games that help them learn to read and write, do maths, lots of art and music-making software, and DS is learning to program. Best value toy ever (and they are handmedowns from us, so we're not giving them at xmas etc which would worry me as it would make it normal to have something that expensive as a present)

I don't think 8/9 is old enough for a phone and when they start having phones I want them to be very basic (because they may get lost/stolen).

Yes, it's the parent's own choice but I worry some parents just think "screen = bad". If they are doing loads of interactive, educational stuff it's not bad. And btw mine still love going for walks / to the beach / playing in the garden. Just because they have ipads, doesn't mean they're on them all the time.

Whyamihere · 19/05/2014 10:26

Dd who's 9 saved up and bought her own, I was proud of the effort she put into saving. She specifically wanted to buy her own one rather than get one for her birthday/christmas and I was happy as I think she will be very careful with it. She's had it a month now and it has not stopped her playing all the other non computer games she enjoyed - playing with dolls/teddies, trampolining etc. She has reduced the amount of tv she watches so not increased her overall screen time. I rarely have to moan at her to get off the i-pad or ban her from it.

VinoTime · 19/05/2014 10:38

My parents bought dd (6) a monster high tablet for Christmas. I wasn't happy about it but didn't say anything. They also let her play internet games (unsupervised) at their house on the weekend when I'm at work. Again, I HATE it but they're doing me a massive favour by looking after her, so I keep shut. I did however set up a separate computer account for dd where I put all the parental restrictions under the sun onto it - especially the internet.

When she's with me, there's none of it. She's not even 7 years old yet, I'm not having her become a slave to technology. She's got her teenage years to lock herself in a bedroom, be unsociable and bury her head in tablets/phones. For now, she can get her backside out to play and have a childhood full of tree climbing, bike rides and trips to the park.

I personally feel like children today are missing out on so many precious things because their heads are looking down at a screen. I don't want that for my dd. She can hate me all she wants when she asks for a phone/tablet and gets told no. She'll get one when I feel she's old enough.

YANBU

Ragwort · 19/05/2014 11:49

It always amuses me when parents justify these gadgets by saying they are 'educational' - yes, no doubt some bits are but speaking from personal experience my DS (13) only uses his for games and other rubbish. My parents were nearly persuaded (by him ) to buy him a Kindle Fire for Christmas, they kept enthusing about how wonderful it would be for him to read books on the Kindle until we pointed out that he only wanted it for games

merce · 19/05/2014 11:53

I totally agree with you. DS is 9 - going on 10 - and he certainly won't be getting a phone until he goes to secondary school. He can use our iPad from time to time. Frankly I think they get plenty of 'screen time' as it is. If I gave him an iPad he'd be glued to it like some crack addict. And that is quite apart from the expense/materialistic aspect of it. So I'd say stick to your guns. Everyone must make their own parenting decisions and I'm not suggesting others are wrong if they go ahead and give their DCs such things, but I am in the 'definitely not yet' camp!!

wobblyweebles · 19/05/2014 12:11

She has reduced the amount of tv she watches so not increased her overall screen time. I rarely have to moan at her to get off the i-pad or ban her from it.

Yes, mine don't watch tv at all any more. We got rid of our tv subscription in the end.

wobblyweebles · 19/05/2014 12:12

She has reduced the amount of tv she watches so not increased her overall screen time. I rarely have to moan at her to get off the i-pad or ban her from it.

Yes, mine don't watch tv at all any more. We got rid of our tv subscription in the end.

SoFishy · 19/05/2014 12:22

It always amuses me when parents justify these gadgets by saying they are 'educational'

But for my kids, they are. DS does a lot of art and learning about computers/programming. DD plays shape-sorting and letter-forming and maths games, games involving learning about things like animal care and teeth cleaning, etc. Not because I make them, but because there are a load of great apps out there that make them want to. OK some kids will just play shoot-em-ups - doesn't mean they all will.

I don't want to boast but I'm not making it up either. It's not "amusing", it's a fact.

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