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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for your advice on whether to call the police?

34 replies

Iamfree · 17/05/2014 02:23

My husband is quite an introvert person and he rarely goes out. in the 15 years I have known him he has gone out probably twice a year without me and home at 10pm the latest.
He went for a drink last night and he is still not back. this is completely out of character. I have called him and sent him texts but no answer.

Should I call 101? this is absolutely and completely out of character. I am so stressed and worried.

please help. !

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 17/05/2014 02:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RachaelAgnes · 17/05/2014 02:26

Hi. Here to hand-hold.

I'm presuming that you have tried to contact friends he is with or the place he went?

Original poster
Iamfree · 17/05/2014 02:27

I don't know who he is with. just a first name. I am panicking

OP posts:
Original poster
Iamfree · 17/05/2014 02:28

I think one of his phones ( his blackberry connected) while it was in his pocket. a voice (not sure it was his) said "where are we?" I could not hear any noise as if he was in a club/pub. is something bad happening?

OP posts:
Original poster
Iamfree · 17/05/2014 02:31

After having lost 10 years of my life, he answered the phone and he is coming home. Thankfully I did not call the police. Thank you all so much.

OP posts:
Lijah · 17/05/2014 03:02

I'm so glad for you, I feel worried whenever my dp is late home, I try to sleep but I never can. I always tell myself if I was out at that time I'd be safe and enjoying myself and there's nothing to worry about. Funny how he's always asleep when I get back after a night out though! I guess I'm just a natural worrier! I hope he's had a good time! Smile

Singsongmama · 17/05/2014 03:07

On my goodness, poor you!! You must have been worried sick...hope a good explanation was given.

Rachie1986 · 17/05/2014 03:45

Glad you managed to contact him.

SavoyCabbage · 17/05/2014 06:44

That's good news. Hope he had a good time. He probably just didn't hear his phone. It happens to me all the time.

Original poster
Iamfree · 17/05/2014 06:53

Thank you all. just to let you know what happened, he left the pub at 11 (after a few glasses but nothing extreme). he decided to take the bus home but he fell asleep at 11.15. I woke him up at 230 am when I kept calling him. so he did a few trips north london to London bridge. I am wondering why the driver didn't wake him up. what if he had collapsed? Is this normal?

OP posts:
slartybartfast · 17/05/2014 06:55

probably health and safety that they are not allowed to disturb passengers, or somethign ridiculous.
glad he is found.

Tealady1983 · 17/05/2014 07:15

And you believe that?

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 17/05/2014 07:18

I can easily believe that... I work with a guy who's ended up locked in the bus depo having fallen asleep upstairs and the driver not realising he's there. Am glad he's ok OP, I suspect there may have been a few more drinks than he's admitting to Wink

sleepingdragon · 17/05/2014 07:18

Hi OP, I'm glad your DP is home safe and well. The bus driver probably thought he was helping your husband out- a lot of homeless people sleep on night buses in London, especially people who are in their first few nights on the street. Usually they get off at the end of the route and get back on the next bus, but this means paying for another ticket, and a very disturbed nights sleep, so often drivers leave people who are asleep on the bus

AvonCallingBarksdale · 17/05/2014 07:20

OK. What about what you heard when his phone connected?

TobyLerone · 17/05/2014 07:24

Him having been woken up on a bus and not knowing where he was, obviously, Avon. Not everything is a.conspiracy.

Original poster
Iamfree · 17/05/2014 07:25

the "where are we?" was the question he asked the bus driver/somebody in the bus. I will get the full story from him and then ask tfl whether maybe they first want to check if people are fine before letting them sleep on the buses.

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 17/05/2014 07:27

When his phone connected in his pocket and there was no pub noise at she heard a voice saying 'where are we?' What about it? It fits in with what happened. And she isn't saying she thinks he is up to anything. She was worried.

TobyLerone · 17/05/2014 07:27

It's not really the driver's job to check people are ok. It could be dangerous for them, especially on a night bus.

SavoyCabbage · 17/05/2014 07:27

X posted with Toby.

ComposHat · 17/05/2014 07:28

My knowledge of London bus services is sketchy, but would they allowed him to ride around fast asleep for all that time? That must have involved a driver change over at some point too. I can understand nodding off into a doze but find it very difficult to believe on a noisy public service bus stopping and starting he didn't stir once in four hours or get off and get a bus in the opposite direction.

TobyLerone · 17/05/2014 07:30

The driver might not have known he was there.

doziedoozie · 17/05/2014 07:34

I don't know, the driver would assume he was drunk prob, and would you happily wake a sleeping drunk at 2am?

If you did wake a sleeping drunk what would you do? would you want to try to get him off to lie in the street? or hang around for hours at the end of your shift waiting on police? Did the driver speak good English? Maybe not.

Just surmising.

BuzzardBird · 17/05/2014 07:35

I'm glad he is ok Op. I wouldn't blame the driver, there is no way in hell I would disturb a random drunk person who is asleep.

Original poster
Iamfree · 17/05/2014 07:35

he is sleeping I have slept about 3 hours last night and I was hoping for an early night. I am not blaming Tfl (if it is all true) just wondering how that can happen. my Dh is under a lot of pressure at work and last night I thought about some very negative scenarios (he is not depressed just stressed).

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