To exchange ironing for critism?

[Obliviated]

Have I spelt 'critism' wrong? It doesn't look right but spell check is ignoring it so...

Ex mil thinks I am a lazy slovenly neglectful mother, she has evidence including odd socks, poorly ironed (in her opinion) clothes, and cheap (asda, matalan etc) clothes.

She mentions it a lot. I've heard her say to people that I don't have an iron in the house haha etc. I've learnt to ignore it as her opinion isn't all that important to me (plus I have 4 children including two toddlers and look after them 24/7 on my own with no help from her previous son so pairing up socks is the last thing on my to do list)

She's decided that I should give all the DCs ironing to her to do, she actually offered to wash it too but I declined, and she keeps buying them clothes she approves of (Next, Gap etc).

I should say no just to make a point that she can't interfere, make out that I'm useless etc... But on the other hand no ironing!

Would you let her take the ironing knowing she would tell all and sundry that she was doing it because "I can't keep on top of the chores" or say no and let her go back to quietly (most of the time) disapproving of you?

Previous should say precious

Well I would be loading the ironing up for her now ! I hate ironing.

My MiL is the same. My ironing is never up to scratch.

She's never offered to do it for me though

I'd be really tempted to take her up on it and add mine and DH's ironing to the pile too

But you really shouldn't, it'll just give her more ammunition

Personally I wouldn't have her do the ironing, but I know it would be important to me to know I was managing without help from someone who disapproved. My MIL doesn't like the way I do everything and offers help, but I only accept help when it's for trivial things that I really don't care that I can't do well. For example, she's much better at flower-arranging than I am and I have no interest in improving, so she's welcome to make them look presentable!

If I were you I'd give her all the washing and see how she gets on because to be fair it would mean you can get on with doing other things, just make sure you say i'll drop the next lot round tomorrow

I would give her the ironing and tell all and sundry that she likes to feel useful and needed.

No I wouldn't but then we only iron once in a blue moon here. DH irons his work shirts and there isn't much else that needs it.

I don't think she quite gets how much washing 5 of us build up, especially with a potty training 2 year old. I iron school uniforms and t-shirts, she irons everything including socks and pants. I just don't have the inclination time. Plus I'm tired, the youngest two don't sleep through and ds4 wants to breastfed all night. When I get a bit of quiet I want to drink a cup of tea not iron.

I was hoping everyone would say to give her the ironing

I'd give it her no hesitations.

My mum irons for me, though we pay her for childcare and bit of housework so it's not really the same.

But with us both working 9-6 everyday, it does really help, even if she's going to criticise.

I've been thinking about this.

And I think you should do it. I definitely would if I could get away with it.

My MiLs the same. I iron just clothes she irons everything, when DS was born we lived with PiLs for a few weeks and she ironed EVERYTHING even vests and baby grows! I don't even iron them now

The thing is, she's never going to stop criticizing either way, so you might as well make the most of it and get your ironing done, surely?

Why doesn't the precious son help you? That may be more of a problem with four dcs than the mil!

Oh definitely give it to her.
As she's offered to wash it as well let her go for it.
She'll soon realise how much washing and ironing there is.
Why does her 'precious' son not help at all?
If he won't then his mum might as well.

And it's criticism - I think. As in 'critic' and then an 'ism'
But I could be wrong.

I would't because I don't iron.
but I probably would find something for her to do to help.

I'd tell her to mind her own business and get a life, and enlist the precious son to do his share.

she irons socks????
Definitely give it to her

I would say don't give it to her, because it sounds like she'll only use it against you and bitch about it.
My MIL used to go on about SIL ironing pile whenever she popped round there and likes everything ironed until it's crispy including socks, pants, PJ's, towels etc which I just don't have the time or inclination to do!!

Oh and tell her if she's that bothered her not so darling son should be helping out a lot more

Never give a mean person the satisfaction of thinking their criticism is justified. If she were your MIL I might relent but as she's exMIL no no no.

Your mother in law has offered to do the ironing, and she buys nice clothes for the children; I would snatch her arm off (not the ironing one obviously). She is probably not nearly as critical of you as you think, and really wants to help, to make up for her son's behaviour. Graciously allow her the privilege. My mother was always offering to do my ironing and I saw it as a criticism of my housekeeping; I realise now it wasn't, just an offer of help because I was so busy.

You're supposed to iron socks? Oh fuck! I'm struggling to do everything already :(

don't iron!!!! Fold everything as soon as the washer stops then hang out or on an airer/radiator = no ironing. I sold my ironing board at a car boot sale years ago and now only iron in emergencies (eg:shirt for husband to wear to funeral) It really riles my MIL, ha ha!

what's ironing?

Revenge

It's what dh did with his shirt before we got married.

In 2000.

I'll give you mine to give to her and I'm sure a couple of my friends would chip in with their washing too. MIL needn't know it's not all yours! Inundate her with washing and ironing every day and see how she copes ! I bet she wouldn't say anything for fear of losing face