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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To exchange ironing for critism?

46 replies

Obliviated · 15/05/2014 14:55

Have I spelt 'critism' wrong? It doesn't look right but spell check is ignoring it so...

Ex mil thinks I am a lazy slovenly neglectful mother, she has evidence including odd socks, poorly ironed (in her opinion) clothes, and cheap (asda, matalan etc) clothes.

She mentions it a lot. I've heard her say to people that I don't have an iron in the house haha etc. I've learnt to ignore it as her opinion isn't all that important to me (plus I have 4 children including two toddlers and look after them 24/7 on my own with no help from her previous son so pairing up socks is the last thing on my to do list)

She's decided that I should give all the DCs ironing to her to do, she actually offered to wash it too but I declined, and she keeps buying them clothes she approves of (Next, Gap etc).

I should say no just to make a point that she can't interfere, make out that I'm useless etc... But on the other hand no ironing!

Would you let her take the ironing knowing she would tell all and sundry that she was doing it because "I can't keep on top of the chores" or say no and let her go back to quietly (most of the time) disapproving of you?

OP posts:

LadySybilLikesCake · 15/05/2014 18:33

I'd ban her from my house. How you iron is not her business and she'll meddle in something else if you let her 'help' you with this.

Ironing is a waste of time unless it's something that needs ironing. By ironing socks she's wasting her time.

NotALondoner · 15/05/2014 18:37

I would make a huge effort to make sure all our clothes (apart from school uniform) was as crumpled as possible and take great pleasure in dressing my children in those clothes.

But that's the way I am and you might not be like that. Ironed clothes are not important to me but manners and not criticising the mother of your grandchildren is.

jollygoose · 15/05/2014 18:40

as a gm of 3 dear gc I noticed my dd never ironed anything and I thought to myself that if she can get away with it then so can I. I promptly ditched the ironin board and hid the iron. The rest of the family dont seem to have noticed so happy days I would rather be in the garden!

Chippednailvarnish · 15/05/2014 18:42

She irons socks?!?

Give her your ironing, plus your friends ironing and "accidently" throw in your full leather bondage suit for good measure.

Tryharder · 15/05/2014 18:46

I can't think of one good reason why you would not immediately hand over all your dirty washing. And if she wants to buy nice clothes from Next and Gap, then you would be ungracious not to let her.

No point cutting off your nose to spite your face.

IAmTheGodOfTitsAndWine · 15/05/2014 19:00

You have the potential here to teach her a bit of a lesson.

Give her all the ironing. Rope some friends in and give her all THEIR ironing too. Give her so much that she's completely snowed under.

i am proper evil, though.

IAmTheGodOfTitsAndWine · 15/05/2014 19:01

In fact, would you like to give her my ironing? Which area of the country are you in? We could organise a rota.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 15/05/2014 19:05

I don't iron anything. Maybe that's why my mil thinks I'm a shit wife.

Give her the washing and the ironing.

jessiemummy28 · 15/05/2014 19:17

My disapproving MIL always does my ironing when she comes round. I let her, with pleasure

eddielizzard · 15/05/2014 19:20

def give her kids' clothes. will she iron yours too?

you could deliberately wear wrinkled cotton clothes from now on in the hope she'll take on all your laundry requirements.

tell her also to please return everything washed and ironed by sunday night.

thank you very much.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 15/05/2014 19:22

Get her to do your DHs shirts and your bed sheets too

MexicanSpringtime · 15/05/2014 19:25

I vote for giving her the ironing. In fact, here in Mexico, if the absent parent does pay child support, you can sue their parents for it.

There is an argument for her being responsible for her irresponsible son.

MexicanSpringtime · 15/05/2014 19:29

Duh, meant to "if the absent parent does NOT pay child support"

Loverofcheese · 15/05/2014 20:00

I would let her do it, thank her and mention that its very nice having done support as her DS was useless

Deathraystare · 15/05/2014 20:23

Check she will do this for free....hate for you to have a huge bill!!

Honestly, who irons socks????????

MrsAlexVause · 15/05/2014 20:23

I haven't ironed in over 10 years. We look fine!

MrsAlexVause · 15/05/2014 20:24

Also, let her do the ironing!

AllDirections · 15/05/2014 20:38

Let her do the ironing and give her a regular list of what the children need from Next/Gap. She bitches about you anyway so you might as well benefit from it

accessorizequeen · 15/05/2014 21:00

How are you going to feel, OP? I think this poisonous woman is already digging at your confidence enough, and you may feel even more undermined. You don't care about ironing and you don't care that she cares. So leave it be and next time she has a go at you please please politely tell her that if she can't stop criticising you she won't be seeing her gc again. They shouldn't be witnessing her criticising you either. I've got 4 dc and when the dts were younger I was positively drowning in washing, not that it's much better now but I get them to help! I iron a few clothes for work, dp irons his shirts and life is too short to do anything else! Have a and .

ICanSeeTheSun · 15/05/2014 21:04

I iaig ( iron as I go) what is the point in standing there for 2-3 hours ironing for the little darlings brats to pull them out and then they need doing again.

Roseformeplease · 15/05/2014 21:09

I have never ironed at all in years of marriage. DH is not bothered and, if he was, he would do it himself. I am not sure that I don't feel that ironing is a bit of tyranny to keep women at home and chained up.

Tell her breezily you have given it up. Suggest she does too. Maybe say you are being sponsored to save the planet or something.

You will probably both be a lot happier.

(mind you, she will probably move in to bitching about your cooking, cleaning or something else.)

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