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Original poster

To blow my top at DH

28 replies

pingufan · 14/05/2014 18:52

Bit of background, my husband is moody. Fairly uncommunicative, very deep, doesn't chat away like I do. Always has been, probably always will be. He is lucky I am a very laid back person so ignore most of his sulks and simply don't let them get to me. As quick as he can be moody, then the cloud will lift then he's ok again

I blew my top today though over what will probably sound like a ridiculous things but here goes.

A few weeks ago I won a £50 voucher for a local garden centre. Now we've recently had our garden landscaped and I remembered him saying that he'd like to fit some trellis to our fence and grow a clematis across it.

Last week then we went along to the garden centre to use the voucher and I suggested getting some plants for the garden, a clematis and some trellis.

It was obviously one of those days as he was as unhelpful as possible. All one word answers to everything. I asked whether we should get a trellis, a clematis but he was just replying 'I don't know'. Now I'm not a gardener but he's always done the planting etc. so I was asking what we should buy? Where do you plant them etc but all I was met with was either silence or I don't know. I asked him what he had planned for the garden and he said 'nothing'. Well I thought you wanted a trellis and clematis I said - he just shrugged, whatever, he said. He just trailed around the shop after me offering no advice or talking to me about anything

So I was running around trying to find things to buy to make up to the £50 as I'd picked up some plants and I though sod it, I liked the idea of a clematis so I bought one. When we got home I didn't know what to with the clematis so I looked online then planted it in a pot to trail it up our fence. He hasn't mentioned it at all.

Today I get home from work and he's been to the garden centre and bought trellis and a clematis and fitted it to a fence on the opposite side of the garden!!!

So I blew and said why the hell have you gone and spent money on something that we could have had for free if he'd taken interest in the garden centre this week. He obviously had mentally planned what he wanted to do so why couldn't he just talk to me and share his plans? Why would you behave like this? Is it a control thing? This is typical behaviour from him, he can be a childish knob at times!

OP posts:
AtYourCervix · 14/05/2014 18:55

He's a twat and you deserve better.

gamerchick · 14/05/2014 18:55

what did he say when you asked him that?

ChelsyHandy · 14/05/2014 18:57

Suspect in the logic of his mind, your clematis and the trip to the garden centre gave him the idea of the other clematis?

You know if you ask him why he didn't just use the first clematis, you aren't going to get a reply!

Hope he has plenty of redeeming features!

Normalisavariantofcrazy · 14/05/2014 18:58

And you're with him because...?

3littlefrogs · 14/05/2014 18:58

He is a fool isn't he.

DontPutMeDownForCardio · 14/05/2014 19:00

Hes a twat. Youre definitely not unreasonable.

Blondiebrownie · 14/05/2014 19:00

Have you asked him his reasons for his weird behaviour?

It's all very strange and even more so that he went and bought the plants the following day.

Is there more to this? Had you had an argument that day and he was sulking? Or was there no reason for his childish mood at all?

hesterton · 14/05/2014 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PitchSlapped · 14/05/2014 19:03

Hes a twat. Thats not him being 'deep' its him being an arsehole

Original poster
pingufan · 14/05/2014 19:03

He does have redeeming features, we've been married for 12 years and have 2 kids, he just so fecking difficult at times.

When I asked him why he'd bought another he said if you want to buy a clematis then you can, same for him as if they belong to us individually and they 'belong' to each of us rather than something that was bought together for the house. I wonder sometimes if he's got aspergers or something. He can be ridiculous over things

OP posts:
DontPutMeDownForCardio · 14/05/2014 19:04

Don't you find it exhausting to deal with that ?

Original poster
pingufan · 14/05/2014 19:05

No reason for the mood that day. Possibly hunger as we were going for lunch and I suggested we detour to the garden centre first.

He's just fucking childish. I blew my top as I tend to let all these silly little things he does build up then I let rip and tell him he's a childish, mind fucking up knob and I wonder whether he's doing it just to mess with my mind.

It'll all blow over then build again over a few months until I go ballistic again

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 14/05/2014 19:06

The things some people will settle for Sad

Original poster
pingufan · 14/05/2014 19:07

Yeah I do find it exhausting at times but I am very forgiving and generally like a quiet life. Unless he really pisses me off I just ignore the moods.

When he is in a sulk it comes off him in waves, I can read the cut of his jib in an instant. And literally it can sometimes be the tiniest thing that starts it

OP posts:
DontPutMeDownForCardio · 14/05/2014 19:14

My ex used to be like this. I left him and found myself a real man. After some time being single sorting out my messed up fuckwit radar. Seriously op, life is too short.

MaidOfStars · 14/05/2014 19:16

This happens every few months? Christ on a bike. My then-boyfriend now-husband once sulked with back in, ooooh, I don't know, 2004, and I made sure that didn't happen again. Sulking is such an unattractive trait - no fucking purpose apart from self-pity and return-to-child.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 14/05/2014 19:16

He sounds like a 15 year old. Thankfully, teens grow outof it so theres a light at the end of the tunnel.

You really want to live like this for the rest of your life?

CoffeeTea103 · 14/05/2014 19:18

You say that he has always been this way, so you chose to stay with him knowing this. Unfair to call him the twat, when you accepted this was him from the beginning.

Original poster
pingufan · 14/05/2014 19:24

Yes I suppose I'm an enabler of his sulks. Like his mother was.

Might sound terrible to you all but I do love him, when he's being lovely he's the nicest person you could imagine. But he's got this streak that's so stubborn. I suspect that HE wanted to buy the trellis and plants and by me doing it i was on his territory.

I have brought up with him the past that I suspect he has some aspergers traits, some of them are typical.

OP posts:
BravePotato · 14/05/2014 19:32

Sounds like an awful (on a small scale awful) way to live for all involved

DontPutMeDownForCardio · 14/05/2014 19:47

If he was horrible all the time you wouldn't stay. He is choosing to behave like this. He knows exactly what heis doing.

MummyKWP · 14/05/2014 19:55

Could he possibly suffer from depression? My DH gets like that & it seems like just a childish mood & seems to come from nowhere. He has depression. The rest of the time he's upbeat, driven & positive. I know it's awful but sometimes it really pisses me off!! I sound so unreasonable, I know Hmm

sunbathe · 14/05/2014 19:57

So was he in a mood before you went out?

sewingandcakes · 14/05/2014 20:06

It's interesting that you think he had Aspergers traits; there's so much support for parents of children with additional needs, yet not so much for partners of adults. It must be frustrating and lonely for you. I admire your perseverance.

sewingandcakes · 14/05/2014 20:06

*has

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