School gate mum called DD "chunky" :-(

[FiddleDeeDees]

Got talking to another mum when I went to collect DS from nursery this morning.

We both had our younger daughters with us and it turned out they were the same age (2.5).

I made some remark about thinking her daughter was older as she was so tall (she probably wasn't that tall, actually, I was just trying to find something to say).

Then the other mum looked at my DD and said: "yours is quite chunky".

I was rather taken aback and thought I'd misheard but didn't say anything as the nursery door was opened and my DD rushed in.

My DD isn't skinny but she's certainly not fat either...AIBU to feel offended by this woman, and also sad that my daughter will grow up with people saying stuff like this to her face or behind her back? Or am I being oversensitive?

Dunno whether you're being unreasonable or not but I wouldn't like it either. She might just have been searching for something to say too though?

Chunky doesn't mean fat to me any more than tall means lanky.

You made a comment about her DDs appearance, she made one back?

tall isn't an insult chunky kinda is.

hence the offense

It's definitely rude to describe someone as chunky. Tall would usually be seen as a good thing, but chunky would not imo.

She didn't call your child fat, she called her chunky...which lots of 2yr olds are before they get taller.

my ds is tall, very tall. I get heartily sick of that being the first thing he hears from everyone, the judgy comments when he was in a buggy, having nappy changed etc. I expect it was the same for this mum. not nice to comment back about your child, but no different to what you did really!

I call my baby chunky. She is. She's a chunky healthy baby. :) They're suppose to be chunky until they're about 4-5 when they start losing baby fat. Come to think of it, I haven't seen a toddler that wasn't an adorable little chubber.

She could have been bristling at you thinking her daughter was older too. Maybe she read into it thinking you were implying her daughter was too old to be going there?

Maybe next time you talk about someone's kids stick to generic comments like "oh they're cute". Parents are a weird sensitive breed of people.

Chunky isn't meant as offensive in a 2 year old!
2 is still baby, when chunky is cute.

oh dear. i describe DS as my Chunky Monkey. he has the greatest chunky thighs i have ever seen. There was a girl at toddler group yesterday and she was lovely and chunky too. Her Mum said it to describe her when she gave her a cuddle. i would never consider chunky as an insult to children under 5.

Well, are you offended because you think she was being rude? Are you upset because it's an underlying worry? or is it just an innocent word used about a toddler who will probably change body shape 13 times before Christmas?

My SIL was very conscious of her (tall) DD's height from about 2 onwards. I suppose she thought that you'd made a comment about her, she was entitled to make one back.

Funnily enough, it's the sort of response that I can envisage loads of Mnetters suggesting had someone posted that their DD's height was being commented upon by strangers!

So you commented on a physical feature of her child yet didn't like it when she commented on a physical feature of your child?

Parents of tall children generally get fed up on having that pointed out to them!

my ds was a bit chunky when he was tiny.

but lost a bit so got called sturdy boy by me,

but calling a little girl chunky isnt right

The only safe word to describe a child is Adorable.

Anything else is asking for trouble.

Chunky isn't an insult is it?! Ok, I wouldn't call a grown woman chunky! But I've called lots of babies/toddlers chunky, in fact my friends dd I actually call chunk! She's adorable, it doesn't mean fat!

Most 2-year-olds are at least a tiny bit chunky, aren't they? I often felt slighted if someone pointed out to me how skinny mine were, as if I could hear them mutter 'undernourished' to themselves. I don't suppose the woman meant anything by it, and if she did, well, she's a twat then. Either way, no point giving it headspace.

Why is gender relevant Mrsbucketxx?

My dd was often described as chunky. I described her as chunky. She was chunky - it was a statement of fact. She has a broad teutonic build. She's 16 and although has never had an ounce of fat on her except for the family thighs she will never be svelte.

I think you've taken this out of all proportion.

Take this as an early warning--

DON'T ever talk to school gate mums.

You'll save endless energy worrying about unimportant bullshit like this.

To be honest I'd be offended if anyone described my DDs as chunky, toddler or not. I'd interpret it as a synonym for heavy....as I think the OP has.

I rarely comment on size/height. Rather i say things like 'what beautiful hair/eyes etc' they have. People always comment on DS's height and even say things like 'are you having speech therapy for DS? It's unusual not to talk by now isn't it, (thinking he's 2.5-3)' and i say 'he's only 18mo ' Then they say 'wow, he's so tall...' yes, i know, i buy the bloody trousers

Well I never, things you discover that are offensive on MN!

I used to call my ds chunky monkey too because he was he is now a beanpole

I think you're taking it far too much to heart. I've a 3 year old - she's chunky - it's the perfect word to describe her. She's not chubby, fat, small, big boned - she's chunky - like a tall, wide square shape. I've an 8 year old - she's very slight, I have a 6 year old & she was exactly the same shape as dd3 at the same age - her shape is changing now.