Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use these things for second baby?

91 replies

dramajustfollowsme · 11/05/2014 17:52

I know I am a hoarder at heart. Growing up with my mum who was down to her last pennies because Dad was FA definitely resulted in me keeping things "just in case."
However, I have improved and have had a few big clear outs.
I kept all of Dd's baby clothes unless stained or stretched or bobbly.
Bibs I've kept unless really badly stained. I've kept all the muslins as I figure they are just used to mop up sick anyway.
Dd2 is due in a few weeks and I've got the stuff out and been washing it all. MiL keeps nothing. New everything, every season, including gardening equipment. Blush
She says I should have thrown all this stuff and baby toys, gym, playmat and jumperoo, out and buy all new. She also makes the point that the baby will get presents so I don't need to keep all the old things.
I say, the stuff is expensive and perfectly usable again. Do people really not use things again for subsequent children?
I would rather wait and see what, if anything we get as gifts then take it from there.
I just hate the idea of throwing them out and spending a fortune again.
She also went mental when she discovered that I keep doubles of gifts dd receive and re-gift them. I put £10 in her bankie each time I re-gift something. Apparently they are all her toys and she should get them all. No child needs 3 of the same dolls, imo.
I am just not sure if I am right or if my background is making me keep things unnecessarily.

OP posts:
maamalady · 11/05/2014 18:23

Your MIL is crackers.

I'm currently pregnant with DC1 - new things we have are pram, car seat, mattress, and a handful of clothes. Pretty much everything else (high chair, crib, cot, huge numbers of clothes, baby gym, slings, bottles etc) is second hand from friends/family. We even have a blanket that was DH's when he was a baby, so not only is it a hand-me-down, it's over thirty years old Shock

I love having so many hand-me-downs, it feels like my baby is being welcomed by her family and our friends before she's even here :)

IdealistAndProudOfIt · 11/05/2014 18:24

Definitely agree she's gone crackers! This is why 2nd and subsequent babies are cheaper. And why some of us don't mind spending a bit more first time round as we know it'll still be used for 2nd.

My 2nd has only had a few things new, clothes and toys both, and that was mostly so that he didn't feel left out when dd was opening her Xmas presents! ( well, that and I thought this t-shirt would suit him Smile). My two are different sexes too - I don't like the way our culture constructs gender, or to put it another way I don't do pink and girly.

Grotbagstwin · 11/05/2014 18:24

Your MIL sounds a bit bonkers and very wasteful!

I had PND and did a massive car boot sale selling everything my ds had grown out of for pence, Once I started feelng like me again I was so upset I did that. So wasteful and lost some lovely outfits I would love to use again given the chance.

wheresthelight · 11/05/2014 18:31

If she has the money then she can spend it how she likes!!

However yanbu to recycle stuff that is in good condition for dc2!! I bought lots of stuff for dd from the charity shops and near new sales. I can't afford to buy everything new although I do buy some stuff.

I have kept everything although I won't be having any more kids myself, but my dsis is pregnant and my best friend is about to start if so am hoping to pass on to them

Nocomet · 11/05/2014 18:31

My DM reads the DM and she'd think your DMIL was utterly bonkers.

DD1 had a crib and piles of clothes and a sling borrowed off a DF.

These things were then used by DD2, DF's DD3 and, the crib, sling and red baby grow, by her DS1.

Given DFs eldest DDs are twins the red baby grow was worn by six different DCs.

grumblepuss · 11/05/2014 18:34

I assumed everyone reused everything from the first?
Or even got given to cousins/friends in the in between time?

There are photos of me and my cousins (male and female) wearing the same dungarees in photos.

BTW who the fuck replaces their gardening equipment every year?

jacks365 · 11/05/2014 18:34

Your mil would hate me. Dd4 has a doll that is about 37 years old, the pram I used for her (big coach built thing) is about 40 years old. Never mind between siblings we pass things down generations. I couldn't get my head around replacing everything the way your mil does.

softlysoftly · 11/05/2014 18:39

YOUR MIL is helping to kill the planet.

We are not badly off but DC3 due in 6 weeks will be getting everything hand me down. She will get new:

  • mattress - but the crib and moses we already have
  • Bottles / dummies if we need them
  • Going home outfit and prob some gifted clothes
  • comforter toy
  • Nappies

Thats it.

Everything else from car seat to clothing she will have from storage. And not only is some of this 3rd hand as she has 2 big sisters, some of it will be 5th hand as it is handed down from my sister(s) who have 2 DCs each.

Your MIL would shit a brick, the clothes go "oldest cousin, second cousin, biggest sister, middle sister, new baby"

But if they are good quality to start with why the hell not?

BackforGood · 11/05/2014 18:45

Come to think of it - the play pen we had for our 3 was given to us by dh's Aunty, but she'd been given to it by MiL, so it must have been dh's. I then passed it on to a colleague, and I'd like to hope she has passed it on to someone else who might be able to use it.

Original poster
dramajustfollowsme · 11/05/2014 18:50

Oh I bought a new changing mat too. The old one was in bits!
I will be offering stuff to other people afterwards and if no takers will sell it.
After clearing my parents' house when they died I've become quite addicted to selling at car boot sales. I'm hoping to avoid becoming one of the people on Britain's worst hoarders but I'd rather use things than get rid.
I'm annoyed that I got rid of one big unit from mum's. I now realise it would have been perfect at the top of the stairs for holding towels and bedding. Can I find something that would be as suitable? Of course not!

OP posts:
onetwothreefourfive · 11/05/2014 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

macdoodle · 11/05/2014 18:57

Your MIL is batty. My niece is now on 3rd or 4th use stuff and perfectly happy with it!

MrsAtticus · 11/05/2014 18:59

yanbu at all, the baby has no idea if the stuff has been used before or not!

MrsGeorgeMichael · 11/05/2014 19:02

In our family we are very proud of the pair of baby/toddler trousers that have been used by 7 children now :) (and counting lol)

your MIL is BU!

PS said trousers still look like new and get commented on everytime a "new" child gets to wear them :)

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 11/05/2014 19:02

YANBU

I come from a rampant fertile extended family and there is a massive, ever-evolving bag of newborn clothes that gets circulated among cousins and second cousins. So far it's dressed at least half a dozen babies. Among my friends, there is another set of kiddy stuff like slings, baby bouncers, toys, blankets etc that also gets handed round.

Both DC1 and DC2 sleep in baby blankets bought for their aunt. She is 44. And DC1 wears some of my old hippy era baby clothes!

CarbeDiem · 11/05/2014 19:04

Yanbu to use those things again or indeed anything that you deem fit.

I've been following your other thread Wink and want to say that your MIL is a nasty bitch - you should take NO notice of pretty much ANYTHING she has to say.
You've enough on your plate at the moment without her stressing you further.

p.s - Hope you and lo are feeling better this evening Thanks

gotnotimeforthat · 11/05/2014 19:05

My ds has his fathers old cot.

He also has a play gym that his father used when he was a child,the play gym was given to him so it was a good few years old by the time his dad had it.

Keep and use the stuff

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 11/05/2014 19:08

Your mil sounds bonkers and incredibly wasteful.

I'm expecting dc2 and have kept everything from DS unless it was covered in vomit stains.

Delphiniumsblue · 11/05/2014 19:10

A mad MIL! Not only did I use all the old stuff I got as much second hand as possible. The baby doesn't care.

Owllady · 11/05/2014 19:16

Your mil is the odd one imo

Aeroflotgirl · 11/05/2014 19:22

Yanbu at all, your MIL is incredibly stupid and wasteful. Why spend money when you doing have to. If it isent broken, what's the problem!

babblingsofbecks · 11/05/2014 19:24

We have a baby bath that was used for BIL, SIL, DH, DS1, a friend's baby, DS2, and DD. Now waiting in the loft for someone else to have a baby! I loved putting DD in babygros bought for her biggest brother, it's nice to see all your favourite baby bits again!

3littlewomen · 11/05/2014 19:26

My DC5 is currently sat playing in his 5th hand babygrow first modelled 17 years ago by his big brother. I love getting out the old clothes and his siblings love reminiscing about wearing the clothes....

Oldest DC has asked me to keep the baby clothes for his kids (hopefully not for a few years)!

Coffeeinthepark · 11/05/2014 19:27

What?! Never heard of anything so silly

Everything should be circulated between as many children as possible until it is no longer fit for purpose

GiraffesAndButterflies · 11/05/2014 19:32

Shock at your MIL.

Hoarding is (IMO) when you keep stuff you are very unlikely to use again, or where you have more stuff than space and it stops you actually living in your living space.

Keeping things which would be collectively costly to replace and which you know you will definitely need again is just... well, normal, really. Sensible. Logical. It's what everyone does who's not actively trying to bankrupt themselves.

And who the fuck replaces all their gardening equipment?? Why on earth would you do that?