To be baffled by Gina Ford...

[Writerwannabe83]

My neighbour just leant me her copy of "The Contented Little Baby" book and after scanning various chapters all I can think is WTAF???

I really, really want to laugh at her shit but I'm too Gob Smacked!!

I found her smug, self righteous attitude unbearable.
I mean, who does she think she is?!

I came across it when a friend followed it. I couldn't believe it - happy wide awake baby suddenly put to bed because it was the right time.

At that time I thought it was the wrong thing to do - surely at weeks old babies learn from your responses- so happy engaging baby put into cot and left alone learns not to be happy and engaging because them you're left alone.

And now that happy engaging baby is a singularly whiny grumpy child. I'm sure the two aren't connected.

I think you should be led by your baby. Some kids do routine and some don't. They certainly don't all do the same routine.

I have often heard that people feel like failures when following GF and therefore it is no good. Tbh, the 2 things don't necessarily follow together.
Sleep issues are one of those things that many people feel like a failure about. In fact many parenting issues make us feel like failures. It is not the fault of the books.
In my experience GF was not easy to start with. I struggled with it probably for 2 months. I can see why people give up. Most babies don't instantly slot into the routines and it can be disheartening. I carried on because I had 2 good friends who had followed it 6 months before. They told me it would be hard and to persevere. I did and it worked. Those 8 weeks were quite grim, but the long term benefits over many years are huge, for everyone in my family.
I can only speak from the experience of myself and my friends, but it worked for us. The general principle of babies learning to get themselves back to sleep is surely the vital thing. If there are other ways to achieve that, then great.

GF worked very well for me - can't say i followed it to the letter, but it really helped.

I loved her potty training book (it worked with 3 really different children - even you middle DC lol)

Loved her weaning book - i felt like mother earth each time (tries to pretend eldest DC didn't get full fat coke today)

each to their own :)

BalloonSlayer

You quote me and my 'mothering instincts' so I will reply.

Funnily enough I also like a plan in life, before I read the book I actually hoped to find it useful, I read a few different books and lots of internet advice. I'd have loved a routine ready to follow when the baby arrived.

I was really hoping to breastfeed and had read up what I could on it. All the SWMNBN advice was contrary to it. Things like her 4 page bollocking on blackout blinds felt really oppressive. It didn't seem adjusted to suit different babies - it was a mold for all of them and as I read it I couldn't help but feel that couldn't possibly be the case for all babies.

And, when mine was born - unsurprisingly he dud not want to be told what to do. My breasts also needed more than a "10 times a day routine".

My son genuinely routines himself, I just wish it didn't change every 3 months but there is nothibg I can do to make a difference in that!! I have tried, he is a law unto himself.

I felt it really worked with DS but accept it could just be his nature. He was a placid, happy baby and the routines seemed perfect for him.

Looking back I realise I was probably just lucky but to this day he is a very easily contented child.

Goldmandra says clearly what I was trying to.

Bizarre woman .
Don't blame mn for being petrified of the name .

I take what Oliver James says with a heap of salt too but this is interesting article - maybe that's why she's against co-sleeping.

Gina meets Oliver

Well I found her useful. It's no good trying to follow her routine to the letter but the sleep times especially are spot on.

I think it probably works well if you FF, and have nothing else to do all day than look after the baby. I did the opposite, because I was BF and was also busy with other things, and DS learnt to nap when he was tired (wherever we were at the time), to eat when he was hungry, and to fit in with whatever we were doing. It was as useful then as it is now. If he is hungry or thirsty, he tells me. If he is tired, he goes to sleep. Much easier than having to be home by x o'clock to have a nap in a darkened room!

I haven't read the books, but have friends who swear by her.

I have read and followed the potty training book and it was amazing. It worked well, I followed it to the letter. Mainly it was common sense, but I needed the guidance.

Nothing controversial in it at all, most disappointing. Got it for 10p at a nct nns. If I saw the baby sleep book for the same price I would buy it to see what all the fuss is about.

I was given the book before dd was born.

Alas she was premature, and gf doesn't recommend her methods on babies under around 7lb iirc, anyway whatever weight that you could start at dd had her own non routine and I cba to try. :)

Father comes home from work; he has had a stressful day at the bank or the building society; the kid's screaming its head off; the wife looks a mess; he thinks, 'My God, what happened to that sexy, bubbly woman I married three years ago? Look at this old hag: she's got droopy tits, she's got wrinkles.' She throws the six-month-old at him and all she can go on about is what a rotten day she's had.

I would think any man who looked at his partner and thought she was an old hag is a bastard.

It's a delightful quote isn't it! Says way more about GF's psychology than it does about anything else.

(And makes it even more clear to me why I would be highly unlikely to take her advice about anything)

I think if you are a 'routine' kind of person, then GF suits. I am very much into routine, structure, goal setting and am highly organised.

A few of my friends scoffed and made a few cutting comments about me following GF's routines. These were generally the ones who had kids who didn't slept well and just felt it was ok to criticise my choices. I never criticised theirs or offered any advice as we are all different.

I would wake my DS at 7am each day and he would be put down for naps at particular times and also woken up for feeding. He slept through from10pm until 5am from 16 days old and a full 12 hours from just over 3 months. I find it insulting that people say 'he would have done that anyway with GF'. It's rubbish.

I also used an Amby Nature Nest hammock and had black out blinds, which were great.

I am and will credit using GF and her suggestions for routines for having a DS who slept and still does sleep so well. I don't ever suggest other people should use it and I also would not criticise people who come on here to ask for advice as their babies struggle to sleep, so do not expect others to criticise my choices, which have worked very well for my son and I.

bronya funnily enough I was thinking of lending my copy to my niece (who was asking me about routines before you all think I was forcing it on her) but it is ALL about breastfeeding, not FF and so I didn't in case it made my niece feel bad as she was FF.

I've never read GF but I have always been routine led and my babies worked like clockwork. Pretty sure it's not right for everybody but for me I'd go up the wall without my routines.

I think the book can be easily misinterpreted. Some babies wont follow a routine. My first was fed on demand and rarely slept. My second was fed on demand and slept brilliantly. I have friends who pulled their hair out and didn't leave the house because they had to stick to a rigid routine whether the baby liked it or not. So unhappy mother and baby feeling like she's failing. Not good.

We're meant to enjoy our babies. It goes so quickly. Why put so much pressure on ourselves to have them in a routine so young. Why not just enjoy them and go with the flow.

Gina ford is a nutcase Harvey bliss worked better for me.

Frantically stumbling and clawing my way through every day and eating as much chocolate as humanly possible was what worked for me.

I had a copy of that fucking GF book. I think I cried and splurged breast milk all over it so much that the pages failed to separate after a while.

I did nt read any books when my boys were babies thankfully they both fell into avroutine fairly naturally but if anyone has any suggestions on how to toilet train a nonverbal autistic four year I would be eternally greatful he is showing an interest will wee indepently on the toilet and take his nappy off when he has had a pooh .incidentally I am pretty sure it was the whole Gina ford furore that brought me to mumsnet and all the articles in the daily mail mums on musnet with little tarquin .

I was given a copy by my SIL before DS arrived, I read it cover to cover and was convinced I & DS would be sleeping 12hours solid in no time!

Wasn't the case at all, I bf on demand and it was nigh on impossible to keep to any routine at all, so in the early months I just muddled through, cosleeping and feeding to sleep.

When I started weaning DS at 6months and we moved him to his own room I went back to the routines in Gina Fords book and they seemed fairly close to what we had naturally fallen into anyway. We are now at nearly 9months and sleeping 7-7 with the odd wake in the night.

I think every baby is different but in my limited experience new borns aren't made for routine!

She is a nutter.

My sister had a maternity nurse who used it, after encouraging my sister to pack in breastfeeding because, "It makes the routine easier" WTAF

There's nothing inherently wrong with baby books, especially if you feel like you haven't a clue what you are doing. But the trick is to read a variety, from routines to on-demand, so if you want a store of knowledge that might help, maybe you remember something.

What's wrong is reading one book and thinking you have to follow that - that's where problems lie.

FWIW I had a to-the-minute routine baby and was probably quite smug about how good and useful routines were when she was little, only to realise as she's getting older that she just likes a routine and she just likes sleep and we did fuck all to actually achieve any of it.

Though one thing that struck me is that a few of the more routine-y books actually recommend a very, very similar routine, which sort of suggests that a significant portion (though obviously not all) babies might naturally slip into a 3-4 hour routine by themselves as they get a bit older. By that I mean if a few separate nannies/childcare experts have noticed it, it might be slightly common.

But horses for courses, everyone should just do what suits them and suits their baby.