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AIBU?

to want to sack my wedding photographer as I have discovered he is a UKIP supporter and is against gay marriage?

151 replies

Jen99 · 10/05/2014 23:01

We are getting married later in the year and we booked a photographer after a recommendation from a close friend. She knows him from her church and he has photograhed several of her friends' weddings. We were happy with him at first, seemed very professional, great photos and albums etc. He invited us to be friends on FB on both his personal and professional pages, which we accepted. However I began to get quite concerned about his posts, moaning about how much work he has and he just comes across as quite arrogant. He has also liked 2 links on FB, one to show that he is a UKIP supporter and two that he is against gay marriage.

Both me and DP are having serious reservations about him and I really don't want to pay someone who's beliefs are so fundamentally against ours. However we will more than likey lose our deposit
I don't doubt that he is a good photographer but he will be with us for most of our day and don't want to feel uncomfortable around hin. He is booked for the bridal prep on the morning of the wedding so will be spending several hours with myself and my family prior to the wedding.
Really not sure what to do

OP posts:

Report

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/05/2014 23:50

Good on you, I reckon!

I would, if I could afford to lose the deposit. I'd just feel creeped out and it'd colour my memories of the day.

Hazchem · 10/05/2014 23:52

Ditch him and most importantly (after getting the deposit back) tell him why. Tell him you can't support a business that activity discriminates against others being happy in love and want to get married and that you'd rather share your country with migrants from all around the world then bigots.

CointreauVersial · 11/05/2014 00:00

I can't see the link between his personal views and his professional ability.

You are hiring him to take photographs, not give you the benefit of his political views.

DSM supports UKIP, mainly because she spends too much time reading the Daily Mail. She's still my DSM, and I love her very much. Should I cut her off?

squoosh · 11/05/2014 00:02

It's a small but effective way for the OP to say 'I'd rather not give my money to a bigot, thanks all the same'.

grocklebox · 11/05/2014 00:02

You cant see the link? Really? Not trying hard.....

AdeptusMechanicus · 11/05/2014 00:12

Jen99 Which is more important:

not having him as your wedding photographer due to his views ?
having a good recommend photographer for your wedding day ?

Personally as long as he takes high quality photos and is very professional on your wedding day then that's what matters.

SueDNim · 11/05/2014 00:14

He is an idiot to use social media like that. If you use it for professional purposes the you need to keep it clear of politics etc, be pleasant and courteous on it and never say anything negative about work on it.

thecatfromjapan · 11/05/2014 00:17

YANBU

Why would you want to pay good money to pay for a bigot to go out for a nice meal/go on holiday/pay for his mortgage, etc.? You wouldn't, I wouldn't.

It's great that you know, so now you can go and spend your money elsewhere.

softlysoftly · 11/05/2014 00:43

To those who think getting a good job done trumps moral aversion where do you draw the line?

Would you happily have your car cleaned by a known wife beater because your personal gain is more important than showing an aversion and stance against wrong?

SueDNim · 11/05/2014 00:54

The OP has paid a deposit. It it better to let him have the deposit for no work or the whole value of the work for actually having to do something?

Cleorapter · 11/05/2014 00:55

YANBU.

Personally, I wouldn't hire a wedding photographer who is against gay marriage just out of principle.

ThornOfCamorr · 11/05/2014 00:58

He doesn't seem very professional to me whatever his views and that would encourage me to change my mind. As a business woman I wouldn't add clients to my personal Facebook account.

Caitlin17 · 11/05/2014 01:03

Admittedly I fail to see the point of Facebook but why are you Facebook friends with someone who is basically, no matter how technically brilliant he might be, simply a tradesman you have hired ?

HolidayCriminal · 11/05/2014 01:27

I kind of feel what he's doing is free speech and I wouldn't want to stamp on it. I loathe UKIP but I can't accept that all of their supporters are inherent bigots, and plenty of people have fairly intelligent arguments why they don't feel comfortable with gay marriage (I don't agree with them, but they aren't 100% bigots in my eyes, either).

I think I would unfriend him on FB without telling him why but not sack him for the photos. Obviously don't recommend him to others, either.

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/05/2014 01:30

I wouldn't have someone taking pictures of my wedding who would discriminate against other people's weddings. Sack his arse.

MrsMikeDelfino · 11/05/2014 01:40

OK, I may be going against the grain here, but what the chuff has his political beliefs got to do with how good a photographer he is?!
Just to clarify, I'd never vote UKIP, but if I did, and was a photographer, what has my political bearings got to do with how good a photo I take and how good at my job I am?!

RaspberryRuffle · 11/05/2014 01:44

If you can afford to lose the deposit I would do so.
Has he spoken to you and DP or just one of you? If just one could you say the other partner is the same sex? or say you have friends marrying soon, 2 lovely ladies etc. And would he be interested. If you go ahead and sack him could you say you've seen his views and would not want him around dear friends and family in case he offends anyone on your wedding day.
For me the homophobic views are a deal breaker. I'd rather not contribute to this guy's earnings.

ravenAK · 11/05/2014 02:08

'what the chuff has his political beliefs got to do with how good a photographer he is?!'

well, nothing. & if he hadn't been stupid enough to post them all over the same FB page he invites his customers to add him on, then they'd be none the wiser & everyone's happy.

But if you publically avow your political views, then you run the risk that others will find them objectionable & decide to minimise their involvement with you.

Hence 'tog should have a 'work' FB page, & a 'personal' account, & not friend his clients on the latter or post his politics on the former.

In the OP's situation, she's forewarned that he's an arrogant bigot so is forced to make a decision as to whether she wants to spend all day with him.

Had he not been so silly & unprofessional (& assuming he'd managed to keep his gob shut on the day too), she'd never have had the slightest clue about his tendencies, so they wouldn't have made her uncomfortable.

I'd want nothing to do with him either, fwiw, but there's also a general 'don't shit where you eat' principle re: FB use...

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/05/2014 05:32

There are political beliefs and then there is illegal stuff (would he not supply services to a gay couple?), then there's discriminatory crap (I choose not to spend time with bigots if I can help it).

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/05/2014 05:35

Also, there were gay people at my wedding. And immigrants (after all the bride and groom, parents of the groom, two of three BMs, MoH all were). If I think he objects to me, my DH, my wedding guests, why would I hire him?

Toadinthehole · 11/05/2014 06:26

I think it's of those irregular verbs:

I have opinions.
You are unprofessional.
He posts stuff on Facebook.

ivykaty44 · 11/05/2014 06:30

Op don't discriminate against someone due to their political thoughts

Jen99 · 11/05/2014 06:31

Thanks for all your replies. I agree with some posters to a certain extent in that his political views should have no bearing on his ability as a photographer and if it wasn't for FB I would have no idea. However he has actually 'liked' UKIP on his professional page which is very unprofessional and quite stupid if him really.
The reason I know that he is against gay marriage is because he shared a link from a Christian FB page when gay marriage became legal which stated that marriage should only be between a man and a woman. He hs said nothing more about it.
We have paid £250 deposit which we can try and get back. A family friend has actually offered to do the photos as a wedding gift. However he is relatively new to photography and hasn't had much wedding experience.
Will have to discuss it again with DP. We've still got nearly 6 months to find a photographer but really feeling uncomfortable about him and don't want it to spoil our day.

OP posts:

MinesAPintOfTea · 11/05/2014 06:31

Holiday there is certainly no right to not have others dislike or avoid you due to being a big mouthed bigoted wanker voicing opinions that part of the population finds unpleasant. If someone is enough of a fool to voice these opinions to clients then they are choosing to take the risk of losing business.

ComposHat · 11/05/2014 06:53

I can sympathise op I wouldn't want to stay at a guesthouse that excluded gay people or set out to make them feel uncomfortable by voicing their opposition to gay marriage or same sex relationships in a work context. Likewise I wouldn't hire a photographer who did the same.

Op your guests will probably thank you from the bottom of their hearts if you do away with the photographer altogether. Maintaining a rictus grin for hours and hanging around whilst friends and relatives are photographed in endless combinations.

Flip

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