In fact, I don't want her to tell them off at all really.
I see a lot of my friend. She has one DC, I have two. My eldest DC and her DC are friends. My children aren't badly behaved, in general I would say they are pretty good, however I don't stand any nonsense from them.
My friend doesn't discipline her child at all, and in all honesty he isn't that well behaved, yet when we meet up all she does is tell my children (aged 8 and 4) off. And usually they haven't actually done anything wrong, they're just doing things that are perfectly allowable and acceptable in our house.
Today she popped round, and as it was lunch time I made lunch for all the DCs, including hers. Her DS is very fussy with food and didn't eat anything and just left the table. My friend then took it upon herself to sit next to my 4 year old DS and start trying to coax him to eat more sandwiches, even though he was eating well. I then brought over a squeezy yoghurt for each child and put it on their plates, and she immediately took them off the plates again (her DS had gone into the other room) and said "No, you're not having them until you've eaten all of your sandwiches". I said "Can you give them back to them please? They know that they need to eat the majority of their lunch before they have them anyway".
Then we took the children to the local park. Both of the older children refused to wear coats or jumpers, so she kept telling my 8 year old off, saying "You'll catch a cold" and "You're naughty not to wear your coat". We went to the playground and when it was time to come home my 4 year old wasn't keen, and she started saying he would have to go on the naughty step or to bed when we got home. I just feel like she oversteps boundaries all the time.
Then when we got back to my house, she went to the loo, and there was an overnight pull up in the bin, as my 4 year old still wears them at night, and she came out of the loo and started saying to my DS "Is that your pull up in the bin, Mister?! You're a very lazy boy! You need to start using the toilet at night" and going on and on about it. Yet she has told me before that her 8 year old sometimes wets the bed at night still!
What is the best way to deal with her?