To be absolutely fucking fuming about tax credits!

[extremepie]

Ok, to be fair it is in part, my own fault for not notifying them earlier, I understand that.

Just had a letter to say that my tax credits are being stopped because my ex and I have split up, fair enough, I forgot to notify them straight away because, funnily enough I had more pressing issues on my mind after my 8yr marriage broke apart and I had to basically give up my job and my whole life to look after my kids while ex fucked off to another part of the country.

Now they tell me it will be 5 weeks to get a new claim form issued and for them to process it. 5 fucking weeks before I receive another payment! Why does it take so fucking long! I asked if they can transfer my details over to a new claim on their system to save me filling it out all over again and taking 2 weeks just to receive the fucking form - apparently not.

What on earth am I supposed to do with no money for 5 weeks? Don't know don't care apparently - me & my 2 children, one of whom has a severe disability, are supposed to just sit in the dark and starve for over a month, including over half term. Fucks sake!

OP, gamerchick is not being mean. She is trying to help. We are all trying to help, but you have to try and listen.
For some inexplicable reason you feel responsible for your Ex's contact with your DC. You are not. He sounds like a total arse, and he is willing to let his kids go hungry while he "sorts his head out
STOP PAYING FOR HIS PHONE!!
Gamerchicks idea of telling them it's stolen is excellent btw. If he want to ring, he will find another method. He doesn't need an i phone to do it.
Secondly-I know I keep banging on about this, but places like Tax credits and DWP are staffed by humans who can be negotiated with. I know it doesn't always seem that way, and you get get unlucky and speak to a Jobsworth, but then you call again, and you keep at it.

Your priorities should be:

Get a referral to a food bank

Get the Tax credits asap

Speak to DWP again about the crisis loan. I had a crisis loan whilst on IS, and they took £28 pw from me. this became a problem and I managed to negotiate a temporary reduction in deductions.

Get rid of any extras you don't need to pay for e.g the phone.
Look, worst comes to worst, your credit is already not good, so it won't make much difference.

Make a plan for the long term; contact the CSA, make sure your dc are going to be getting what they should be.

Take the local advice given here and contact all the services who may be able to help you. Help IS out there. You just have to make it known that you need it.
Maybe when this crisis is past, and you are getting child support etc, you could think about driving lessons/a car/(I know you are rural) and going back to work part time, if that's what would make you feel more in control. Not saying you should if you like being a sahm of course.

I have been in situations like yours, and it can be really easy to just panic and say "yes but" , but you need to put yourself in the mindset of an Army General, and be ruthless in your mission to make things happen.

Soz, I meant £28 per fortnight

If your credit rating is shot anyway, defaulting on the phone contracts won't make that much difference. Another option would be phone the mobile company that you can't pay them for x months but want to be honest and see what they can do to help- they would rather get a little money out of you than none at all.

Cancel all direct debits that you can to give you some breathing space. By the time they've sent you reminders etc your tax credits should be up and running so you will be in a position to sort them out. Rather than use your own phone credit phoning dwp etc, go to your local children's centre and see what assistance they can offer eg use of phones (our local one does a welfare rights service where you can phone for free)

Hi op, I know its difficult, but when you have children you income should always be a priority. You have been given some really good advice, now you just need to put it into place.

Have you been in contact with your local citizens advice bureau? Do you have a local sure start centre?

Is the child not in school full time the disabled child? And is this because he's doing nursery hours and you have vouchers for 5 sessions only, or because school currently offer part time only because of his needs?

Depending on which it is there are different options you can try.

Sorry but yabu. The claim was cancelled and this delay caused because you didnt notify them of the change in circumstances, and were recieving smounts you werent entitled to.

I can see how its a total pisser but its not their fault as much as it is yours. And why arent you targetting your anger at your ex, its him who should be supporting his children, its him that should be putting food in their mouths.

Its understsndable you are upset but your ire is misdirected.

I agree, there is no way yip should keep paying for someone else's phone when you are struggling right now. You're ex's contact with his child is his responsibility, not yours. Also, if the DWP notices you still have a financial link with your ex because you're paying his phone bill, they may stop your income support. And then you'll have more problems. Please stop paying for it for your sake.

Ok - this may be obvious but you want to avoid making the claim time any longer than it really has to be.

So the day the pack arrives you want to be posting it out to catch the post that day. (Not leaving it to the evening as that will lose you a day.) Try to sort the following things now:-

What info will they need? Do you have all that info to hand?
Will you need a stamp? Do you have a stamp?
Do you have something that will entertain your kids for an hour or two while you are doing this? Figure out what that will be.
What time does the post go from the box near you?

Sorry - that makes me sound a bit obsessive about the post - I probably am. I used to have a job involving marking assignments where the amount I got paid depended on how many days it was from the company posting the assignment out to them getting it back.

Where abouts in Cornwall are you? If you don't want to say, can you at least say where your nearest town is? I ask as I use to work alongside a foodbank in Cornwall and for the area that they covered, they actually delivered the parcels. If you would rather PM me your location I can try and get more info to you.

Extreme I have PM'd you

£30 is a lot to pay for a phone contract. I only pay £13 for a good smart phone with virgin. Also you mention sky, is that for tv as well?

I'm nearish st Austell :)

£30 seemed like a good deal at the time as it was for an iPhone with unlimited minutes & texts so no chance of going over & incurring extra charges but that was 2 years ago :D

Yes I have sky TV, not the 'full' lot of channels (no movies etc), for the kids and for me in the evening when I'm bored shitless because I have no life I have nothing to do :/

Can you go to your local church? They may be able to help with food donations? My local church will help anyone in need so dont have to be referred

Actually that is a good idea, my local church is just down the road from me so could walk there too, didn't think of that :) Thanks!

I agree you should stop paying for his phone. You must prioritise essentials like food and not getting too behind with utility bills and rent though you could explain to them. If you are in dire straits you could try ringing the Citizens Advice Bureau and see if they can suggest anything.

Cancel all non essentials like Sky TV till you get sorted out. And who knows they might even give you a cheaper deal when you sign up again.

At the moment sky tv is not a priority, feeding your children and keeping a roof over their head is. There are more than enough channels on freeview.

I would say cancelling sky probably won't help - they ask for 30 days notice so you're liable to pay til then, by which time the tax credits award will be nearly sorted out anyway.