Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be absolutely fucking fuming about tax credits!

92 replies

extremepie · 09/05/2014 12:54

Ok, to be fair it is in part, my own fault for not notifying them earlier, I understand that.

Just had a letter to say that my tax credits are being stopped because my ex and I have split up, fair enough, I forgot to notify them straight away because, funnily enough I had more pressing issues on my mind after my 8yr marriage broke apart and I had to basically give up my job and my whole life to look after my kids while ex fucked off to another part of the country.

Now they tell me it will be 5 weeks to get a new claim form issued and for them to process it. 5 fucking weeks before I receive another payment! Why does it take so fucking long! I asked if they can transfer my details over to a new claim on their system to save me filling it out all over again and taking 2 weeks just to receive the fucking form - apparently not.

What on earth am I supposed to do with no money for 5 weeks? Don't know don't care apparently - me & my 2 children, one of whom has a severe disability, are supposed to just sit in the dark and starve for over a month, including over half term. Fucks sake!

OP posts:
mamas12 · 09/05/2014 16:34

CAB
They are brilliant as they can contact tax credits directly and sort it for you
Try and go to your nearest cab office

CiderLover · 09/05/2014 16:44

Try applying for a credit card with very.co.uk. I was approved even though on benefits with a bad credit rating. I'd also suggest trying to get a store credit account with them as they are quite good for any household bits, clothing etc you may need and again I got approved for an account despite bad credit rating.

Gaining credit is NOT the answer here, especially in the form of a credit card

Holfin · 09/05/2014 16:54

I would ring DWP social fund department. They may be able to reduce the amount they are taking out of your income support. It may not be much but might help a little.

extremepie · 09/05/2014 17:39

I've tried that already holfin and they won't reduce it, which mightly pisses me off since I got the crisis loans when we were a family and now I am a single parent I have to pay it back while he gets to swan off and live somewhere else and leave all his debts behind!

I know what you are trying to say wondering despite the weird keyboard :D Yes you can't just cancel a contract, it's a 2 yr contract so I would have to pay off the remainder which I can't afford to do - plus IME PAYG to definitely not cheaper, although at least you do get the choice to not top up if you have no money :D Both contracts are due to finish in the next few months so hopefully this won't be an issue for much longer - I did ask him to start sending me the money his contract costs (£30 ish) a month to cover it and he said he would but as yet I haven't seen any of it :(

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 09/05/2014 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EatShitDerek · 09/05/2014 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vrtra · 09/05/2014 17:55

Income support for a carer is only 40 pw as they take carers allowance into account, that is why it is so low. Total payment of IS +CA should be 103 pounds a week or so before deductions.

vrtra · 09/05/2014 17:56

And they don't usually deduct from carers allowance.

extremepie · 09/05/2014 18:01

That's right vrtra, I get £100 ish IS -£61 CA so £40 is then minus the deductions for the outstanding crisis loan hence the £30 a fortnight :/

EatShit if I do that it will negatively impact on my credit score because the phone is in my name and the payments come out of my account, my credit rating is awful enough as it is I really don't want to damage it any further by missing payments. Unfortunately ExH knows this so kinda has me over a barrel because he knows that I will continue to pay it in order to avoid that :(

OP posts:
gamerchick · 09/05/2014 18:01

right re the phone.. ring them up and tell them the phones been stolen. They'll block the phone and send you a new sim out. that way you don't have to miss the payments and further affect your credit rating. Then see if you can change the plan to a sim only contract which is miles cheaper then sack that part of your contract out off when it's up. If he wants to ring his kids then he'll sort it out... don't let him take the piss. That's what I told my daughter to do when somebody was using her additional contract on her account and refused to give it back.

Ring the dole up and ask them to suspend loan payments for x amount of time.

Stop making excuses to why you can't do anything about things.. you can't afford to pay for your exs contract so stop doing it.

Queen0fFeckingEverything · 09/05/2014 18:10

The CSA should not be taken off your income support! It shouldn't be counted as income for benefit purposes.

Queen0fFeckingEverything · 09/05/2014 18:10

Hang on will get you link when on laptop. I am sure that is wrong though.

gamerchick · 09/05/2014 18:10

No child support doesn't affect benefits anymore.. they changed that a while back.

Purplepoodle · 09/05/2014 18:12

Do you have a food bank near you?

extremepie · 09/05/2014 18:14

I'm not sure why you're being so mean gamerchick, I'm not making excuses I'm giving valid reasons!

It's seems a bit spiteful to 'take his phone away', do you think ds will understand that he can't speak to his dad because I didn't want to pay for his phone? I don't think so!

Besides, if I report the phone as stolen won't I have to report it, get a crime number etc? If it's found out that I lied won't I get in trouble (genuine question btw)

OP posts:
gamerchick · 09/05/2014 18:19

I apologise.. I really didn't mean to come across as mean :(

no you don't have to report it stolen.. just tell the phone company to block the phone and they'll send you a new sim or tell them you've lost the sim and they'll block it and send you a new one. We've done it and it was a quite simple process.. then you can tell your ex if you want that you couldn't afford to pay for it and you're sorry etc etc if it pulls at your insides.

As for being spiteful.. if your child is telling his dad that he's hungry because you can't afford to buy food.. will his dad then send you money or give up his phone then?

You can't afford to pay for a contract phone for another person.. that is a fact. he should be giving it up willingly if he knows you're short of money. it's not your responsibility for him to be able to phone your child.

Cornettoninja · 09/05/2014 18:23

Sorry if it's been mentioned, but can you try and get your phone contract suspended? Explain the situation and offer a minimal 'holding' payment till you can afford to complete the contract at your agreed price?

Some food banks will deliver, so do explain the issues with transport and your ds.

Is there a charity associated with your ds's disability? Contact them and your gp. They'll have the connections to other organisations and advocates who can help you get back on track as quickly as they can. Unfortunately it's a common problem which most of them are well used to dealing with at the moment, but the overwhelming demand is making it hard to meet criteria for some services which is why focussing on a charity with a personal connection is your best bet.

It's so hard and you have my full sympathy, please ask anyone and everyone for help, the stress and worry of it all makes everything ten times harder to deal with, but things will get better and with any luck you may find a wider, longer term support system as an unexpected silver lining.

Barefootgirl · 09/05/2014 18:26

I'm sorry if it seems like we are dogpiling on you. I think it would be better for your DS had to miss speaking to his daddy for a bit, than for him to go cold and/or hungry. His daddy made the choice to piss off 300 miles away and leave his children with no means of support, and your son won't be scarred for life by a bit of non-contact time.

Speak to the CSA first and foremost, and get the ball rolling on a claim there. It might be worth speaking to the local church, see if there is anyone civic-minded enough to give you a lift to the food bank / doctors / hospital.

extremepie · 09/05/2014 18:28

I hope he would!

Sorry I'm just still feeling a bit fragile atm, I just hate this, I hate being totally reliant on benefits, I hate having to survive this way I just want to work and be able to provide for my boys like I used to - I used to be the full time worker in the he family, ExH was a SAHD and had been pretty much their whole lives and then when we broke up he just pissed off because he was too upset and wrapped up in his own issues to look after them (according to him).
Overnight I went from main breadwinner to being forced to be a SAHM. Now I can't work because ds2 only goes to school part time and I can't afford childcare for both of them (especially specialist childcare for ds2), have no family here, no friends to help me out and I'm stuck in this stupid situation :(

Sorry, just feeling sorry for myself, will give myself a kick and suck it up :D

OP posts:
jacks365 · 09/05/2014 18:33

You're allowed to feel sorry for yourself you are in a tricky spot but it will improve, it is only temporary, you will get back on track.

ICanSeeTheSun · 09/05/2014 18:36

Only way I can help is give you the local number

034530003900

MrsDiesel · 09/05/2014 18:38

The 6 week wait is what keeps me in a relationship with my partner despite wanting to leave so I know where you are coming from.

You have had lots of advice so I would take some of it, the cab seems your best bet and you can get a referral to a food bank from there.

Good luck!

YesJesseARobot · 09/05/2014 18:39

CSA doesn't affect benefits, no. I thought the OP was referring to Carers Allowance (CA), which can.

peacegardens · 09/05/2014 19:00

I'd contact the phone company and ask them to try and arrange something for you. If they don't, just don't pay. Being able to eat and pay towards bills is more important than credit score (which you said is already not great) at the moment.

I also agree that you shouldn't be paying and facilitating his contact with the children. It may come across as spiteful (to him?) but so what, that's not your intent; it's just a luxury you cannot afford, the money better used elsewhere. He can buy a cheap pay as you go, or borrow his girlfriend's phone.

Hope that doesn't come across as mean, and I do hope this is all sorted out as quickly as possible for you. Good luck!

Shop · 09/05/2014 19:02

I can understand not wanting to mess up your credit rating further, I really do but if you prioritise paying the mobile over everything else surely you are fogging be unable to pay a different bill which will mess it up anyway?
PAYG is a million times cheaper than it used to be. I moved from contract to PAYG with Giffgaff and get more minutes and texts for lots less. For example you can get 500 UK minutes, Unlimited UK texts, 1 GB Internet and Free to giffgaff numbers for £10!!

It must be very hard if DCs want to speak to their dad and can't but it wouldn't be because YOU didn't pay the bill it would be because he didn't.