Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

The angry lady in the car.

75 replies

Evilwater · 09/05/2014 09:46

I can't bloodily believe it! I've just been yelled at by another mum for driving too fast.
BTW I WAS doing 30 and I DID stop. There was no need to block my car, quash my wing mirror, and yell at me.
Yes I know it is a bend, and there Is always that red van there, and yes I have a young child. I looked before moving out, but I didn't see her.

FFS!
Why don't they use there driveway instead of the road?

OP posts:

Nicknacky · 09/05/2014 11:30

It isn't unreasonable to expect drivers of motor vehicles to drive with appropriate levels of hazard awareness, really it's not. They are in charge of a piece of equipment which if not used correctly can seriously injure or kill. That is a huge responsibility that shouldn't be taken lightly.

And you brought up the issue of the other driver acting in a manner likely to cause alarm and distress, I agree that is ott and the police would not be interested.

The op by her own admission has said she was maybe going too fast so I don't think it is a stretch to suggest she may be guilty of driving without due care, but that's a moot point as there is no prosecution.

rabbitrisen · 09/05/2014 11:39

Sounds like the other woman was scared to me. We can all shout when suddenly scared.

rabbitrisen · 09/05/2014 11:41

Dont like the way that the op "didnt see her" either.

But the wing mirror bit sounds like the other woman shouldnt have done.

op 70% wrong, other woman 30%?

Stinkle · 09/05/2014 11:42

It really depends on the exact circumstances. Had you already pulled out to pass the cars when she appeared? What speed was she doing? What's the road like, etc?

I had a similar incident last week.

Pulled out to pass a long line of parked cars on my side of the road. The road was completely clear the other way when I pulled out. Was about 3/4s of the way past the cars when another car appeared coming the other way.

Anyone with half a brain would have stopped and waited, but no, she continued to drive full tilt at me with hand on the horn, then proceeded to drive up the kerb and scream obscenities out of the window.

I'd stopped, but not had time to do anything else

PoundingTheStreets · 09/05/2014 11:51

I didn't say it was unreasonable, I said it was unrealistic.

If I lose £20 in the street, it's not unreasonable for me to expect it to be handed in because that's the legally and morally correct thing to do. But I would be unrealistic to expect it to happen (though it does occasionally). I know loss money isn't the same as an accident in which someone could get hurt - had the OP actually damaged property or hit someone I'd say she has to bear the consequences. But no one did get hurt in this instance.

I'm not trying to pick holes in you - you're actually preaching to the converted here. I am frequently appalled by how blasé people are about the killing machine that is their method of getting from A to B. But human nature is what it is. People minimise risk.

Just as other people react disproportionately to perceived slights.

And I don't like rudeness. That's my POV.

Pumpkinpositive · 09/05/2014 12:01

But still it's not a good example to yell at people just cause I may have scared her. Plus we are all human

You contradict yourself there a bit. If we're all "just human" (and make mistakes) you should find it very easy to understand her not "setting a good example" be yelling at a careless driver who's just given her a fright.

Chalk it up to experience. You - and she - made a mistake. Doesn't mean you're a terrible person.

babybat · 09/05/2014 12:02

The other driver might have been shocked or scared by your driving on the wrong side of the road on a blind bend, which caused her to shout at you. It's not always easy to respond in a cool, calm manner if someone's driving dangerously. Your adrenaline shoots up, you think they're going to hit you, and it can be terrifying. Give the other driver a break and drive more cautiously so you can stop in the distance you can see to be clear.

Nicknacky · 09/05/2014 12:04

Apologies if I said unreasonable, but either way my point stands. No one drives perfectly at all, we will all have had situations where we think "fuck that was close" and we learn from them. 99.9% of the time we get away with it with no consequences, sometimes we don't.

The main thing is that the op reads the responses and thinks "right, next time what can I do different?" And possibly the other driver is doing the same.

We will have to disagree about rudeness because I would have shouted at her as well! When my safety and the safety of my passengers is compromised, politeness wouldn't be my first consideration.

wowfudge · 09/05/2014 12:11

Unfortunate for you OP, but had you been there a fraction sooner, you could have had a collision. The problem really lies with the problem parking in a stupidly dangerous place, which they shouldn't do. You could always inform the police on 101.

It sounds as though you are familiar with the obstacle (the parked cars) and haven't met anything coming the other way until this incident. You should always slow down and inch forward if you cannot see what it coming.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 09/05/2014 12:52

One very basic principle of safe driving.

You must be able to stop in the distance you can see to be clear

So if you can only see six feet of clear road in front of you, you need to be able to stop in that six feet.
Doesn't matter who parked like a pudding, what the speed limit was, how many times you've driven the road before... slow right down until you can see more road.

CaptainTripps · 09/05/2014 15:20

OP take this s a good wake up call for you. 30 was a but much by the sound of things. There is a such a difference between 20 / 30 mph ref survival rates for little kids running out.

You sound like you know the road well and that you use it a lot. Don't let this be your justification for zipping up it at 30. Drop it to 20. Be a pootler just for this horrid sounding road.

Nicknacky · 09/05/2014 15:27

Boulevard, I tried to say that on the previous page. Badly!! I knew I hadn't phrased it right lol!

ZingWatermelon · 09/05/2014 16:42

is it you rosepettel? I hope it is.

kungfupannda · 09/05/2014 17:03

This sounds like something I saw this morning. Waiting behind a row of parked cars, with a van sticking out into the road. Car in front of me got bored of waiting and just pulled straight out while car coming the other way. The other car had to mount the pavement to get out of the way, otherwise they'd have hit each other.

It sounds like you were going too fast, and she didn't have time to get out of the way. I'd be surprised if she deliberately aimed for your wing mirror - that would be hard to do with that kind of accuracy unless she was some kind of school-run ninja....

ChelsyHandy · 11/05/2014 11:37

Gads, I'm sick of drivers doing this lately. Who on earth overtakes on the other side of the road without making sure its clear first? Two cars did this to me in a busy part of town the other day, I was innocently driving along and they overtook a bus on their side of the road right into me. So I stopped. The driver of the first car went apopoleptic at me, waving her arms around, indicating that I should reverse to let her through. I wasn't going to do that - too risky I might hit a pedestrian or another car reversing. So I just sat and watched her while she fumed, then eventually she and the other two cars had to reverse slowly themselves. Cue more gestures and filthy looks from them and mouthed words as I passed.

I fail to see what I did wrong there actually.

MaidOfStars · 11/05/2014 16:42

I live near what sounds like a very similar road setup, complete with tall van that parks right on the apex. Despite me having what could charitably be described as 'heavy feet', or more accurately 'boy racer brain', I don't drive at 30mph round this bend. If I'm coming downhill, I completely expect to meet a car on my side of the road and totter around at maybe 10-15mph, holding my breath. Therefore, when coming uphill on the wrong side of the road, I also only do 10-15mph.

Chelsy, the other drivers were in the wrong but if you've made them perform a more dangerous manoeuvre than you would have had to perform, I'd have reversed.

frostyfingers · 11/05/2014 17:36

I don't know what happens to people when they get in cars sometimes. Last week I was at red traffic lights waiting to join the main road at a crossroads which was jam packed. The lights changed to green but I didn't move because the cars on the main road were not moving, and there is a yellow box into which you are not supposed to go if you can't get out - if I'd gone in and the traffic hadn't moved I would have blocked the road. Got beeped at a couple of times but ignored it.

Unfortunately the same happened again when the lights changed so I didn't move, cue lots of beeping from lady behind. I got out to explain as I wasn't sure she could see why I wasn't moving. I said "I'm sorry I can't move forward as the road is blocked and I don't want to block the oncoming traffic". The earful I received back was appalling - "you stupid f...... b...., move your f...... car". I gave up.

I can't believe that she would speak to someone like that if she wasn't in her car, I wasn't being deliberately slow, just trying to avoid causing a further traffic jam and it was a complete overreaction.

ChelsyHandy · 11/05/2014 17:39

MaidOfStars Chelsy, the other drivers were in the wrong but if you've made them perform a more dangerous manoeuvre than you would have had to perform, I'd have reversed

Not my problem. I was on the right side of the road. They could, of course, have waited until the bus moved off. It was a school bus.

wheresthelight · 11/05/2014 18:49

I am afraid I agree with most posters here, you weren't driving safely and unless she crossed the white lines in order for her wing mirror to push yours in then you left your car on the wrong side of the road and should be thanking your lucky stars that the wing mirrors were the only things to collide!

She shouldn't have yelled at you but to be honest in the same position as her I probably would have yelled at you for being an idiot too.

MaidOfStars · 11/05/2014 18:55

Not my problem. I was on the right side of the road

Understood. But upon finding myself in a tricky road situation with a couple of options for extrication, I would always go with the safest, whether I was obliged to or not, whether it looked like I was 'conceding' or not. This would be particularly important if you were all, as it seems, TPACing a school bus.

(Of course, it may be the case that forcing those two cars to reverse in tandem was the safest way to proceed?)

FryOneFatManic · 11/05/2014 18:56

I also think the OP was in the wrong here, she should have slowed down and made sure nothing was coming.

I see more and more drivers these days who can see you coming the other way and still pull out to pass parked cars in the expectation you'll stop and let them through. I used to be polite and let them go. Not any more, I've made sure people have to stop and/or reverse at times, especially the ones who pull out when there's absolutely no gap to go through.

MaidOfStars · 11/05/2014 19:00

Is everyone ignoring the fact that the OP says she saw the car coming and reversed so the car could come past? What else should the OP have done? Aside from, in future, dropping her speed a little, although it's not clear her speed was the main problem here.

OP, have you suggested to the council about getting yellow lines on the bend?

wheresthelight · 11/05/2014 19:05

Reversed or not my point remains she still had to have been on the wrong side of the road for wing mirrors to collide

MaidOfStars · 11/05/2014 19:12

Reversed or not my point remains she still had to have been on the wrong side of the road for wing mirrors to collide

Has the OP confirmed this? She said the other driver 'drove at [her]', suggesting a signifcant deviation off normal course.

My personal reading of this is that the other driver, while technically not obliged to let the OP off, has deliberately gone out of her way to make it awkward, indeed, initiating a collision with a stationery vehicle, to be the one in the right here.

BelleateSebastian · 11/05/2014 20:03

I cant visualise the scene so can't comment but (after seeing the new 'Inbetweeners' trailer) I have just screeched 'fag wanker' at someone who cut me up on the M5 (he had a rollup hanging out the corner of his mouth)!

Flip

1 2 3