To find these episodes of Location Location Location very funny

[Summerbreezing]

The ones where the couple want a house 'full of character', so Kirstie shows them a quirky cottage, a cleverly restored barn, and an old mellow farmhouse; which are all rejected on the grounds of 'too near the road', 'not enough garden', 'nowhere to store our six racing bikes' etc.

The couple then go off and 'discover' a three bedroom semi in a gated development at the edge of the village, put in a 'cheeky offer' and buy it. A few months later Kirstie has to go around for a visit and ooh and aah at their John Lewis sofa and homebase cushions and decking out the back and tell them how 'clever' they've been and how the made 'the decision that was right for them', and all the time you can almost see the bubble over her head thinking "WTF? . That lovely cottage was twenty grand less that this boring box".

Disclaimer: Can't afford to live in beautiful old farmhouse with antique furniture myself so not mocking semis and homebase. But I just saw a repeat of one of those programmes and it made me smile.

It's great isn't it . I remember one particular episode where Kirstie had been tearing her hair out (so to speak) trying to find a 4 bedroom house with no road noise & plenty of parking and the couple had rejected everything she'd shown them for reasons such as "too near the road", "only room for two cars", didn't want to compromise on the amount of bedrooms etc. etc.

They then found for themselves, and bought, a 3 bed cottage on a busy road with no parking . Kirstie looked a mixture of confused & pissed off.

Wasn't there also a couple who wanted to be within a 30 minute commute of a major airport - but nowhere near a flight path?

Oh yes! No flight path.

[shakes head]

I remember an Escape to the Country years ago.

This woman and her mother wanted a "character property" with original features.

They found her the most beautiful house, stuffed with original features - original panelling, coving, etc.

The woman was going round saying stuff like "oh yes, we'll rip that panelling out and put the sunbed in there". She didn't like the original fireplaces and was going to replace them all with those trendy minimal gas fires.

I was sat there thinking please don't sell this woman this beautiful house

oh I saw one they wanted to move to a thatched cottage in dorset the ceilings were too short and the thatch was too thatchy

Did anyone see the one with a couple who'd just won the lottery? You could tell that it wasn't going to end well for them straight away. I googled them and they had lost all their money within about 5 years. I think they were in North Yorkshire.

Yes, here they are

I hate it when they show the prices then a date about six years ago. Really pisses me off. Surely they make newer programmes. They're always looking for people.

I love LL!

The best bit is when they're polite with a bitchy undertone to the people who have a £100k budget but want a 5 bed mansion, then when they're out of shot, K&P do a bit to the camera or a chat to each other saying how bloody stupid the people are.

Sarah Beany is great at this too - telling people they should definitely turn their under stairs cupboard in to a downstairs loo and then they don't take her advice, then the estate agent comes around to value it and says "this property would really benefit from a downstairs loo, this space would be perfect" and then she smugly says to them "and, do you think, in hindsight, you should have taken my advice?". I miss Sarah Beany.

Is it that the lottery woman was then on Four in bed with her new BF advertising a glamping business? I may well be wrong, but i am sure i read that on MN once.

yes I think it might be the four in th e bed woman with blonder hair

I don't understand the couples who say they want a country cottage - but then say the ceilings are too low, the windows are too small, too dark and it's near a road - yeah, you know, like country cottages were built!

I had heard from somewhere that the glamping bussiness was all a fake bussiness they were just appearing on tv for the people who owned it

Or the people who want a period country cottage, lots of original features etc etc - but the husband is about 8 foot tall, so every doorway he walks through, or sloping ceiling, elicits an "oh, we couldn't live here, he'd be banging his head all the time".

X-posted!

fru oversized husbands in cottages are hilarious what were they expecting ,

Poor Kirstie & Phil, you can see them eyeing up the oversized husbands at the initial meeting thinking "this ain't gonna work"!

I am obsessed with A place in the sun. also have a secret girl crush on Jasmine

It's like looking in on another world sometimes. £350k for a holiday home to use as a bolt hole! What a dream that would be.

What I don't understand about some of these programmes, is they have all this professional advice, completely free of charge, and then they completely bloody ignore it.

I was watching a Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares thing the other day and the owner was ranting and raving about him "not knowing what he was talking about", etc, etc.

He was like, OK, me and my Michelin star will go home then

Why go on these programmes if you're going to take absolutely no notice of the advice given to you? Plus it makes you look a complete nobber on national television

I saw one once where the woman cried as she stood in the upteenth gazillion £ cottage because it was evident that there was no way to get an Aga through the doors

At the time I was broke, pregnant and had no idea if I was going to have a home by the time my baby arrived.

Come the revolution and all that

they did one i watched the other week it was twin brothers basket ball players was the same one as the london apartment quirky couple , they filled up door ways and hit heads it was a shame Kirsty was flummoxed

same episode*

I love love LOVE the american Kitchen Nightmares it is quality telly how gordon does not smash their heads in I dont know,

Or what about the episodes where the couple have completely different things on their 'wish list'? You can see them getting more and more pissed off with each other, whilst P & K are nervously looking at them wondering whether it's going to end in fisticuffs. I'm sure I saw one episode where the woman actually refused to go inside one house.

I love all of these programmes. There was one recently where the ex military officer couple were looking at finally buying their first house, in the town next to ours. They were very sniffy about the lack of space in the perfectly decent 3 bed detacheds they were looking at could afford.

After a few 'It's soooo cramped" comments I was shouting welcome to the real world at the screen. I mean surely they knew at some point they would have to downsize to normal family accomodation ?

Their budgets amazes me, couples in their 20s seem to have 500K to spend as an FTB. They never feature normal 200K budgets, a 3 bed semi in Sheffield or Preston or whatever...

There was one really spoilt woman once who whinged and whined her way through the programme and you could see Kirsty just hated her. I think she cried with happiness over an apple tree or something in the garden of one house. Total precious drama queen. IIRC they ended up buying nothing.