To not invite nephew to DD's birthday party

[IShallCallYouSquishy]

As DH says we "have to" and I disagree.

DD will be 2. DN is 6. He's a big boy for his age and like any 6 year old gets over excited, acts silly and boisterous.

DD's party will be all 2ish year olds. The bouncy castle/toddler play thing we hired is only suitable for up to age 3.

DN won't be able to use the play equipment and he can be too rough which I wouldn't be happy about with a load of toddlers. We have also never been invited to a birthday celebration of his, not even his first birthday even though we of course invited all the family to DD's, including SIL, BIL, DN and they even brought the teenage son from BIL's first marriage.

So, based on it being completely unsuitable am I really BU in not inviting them but explaining how it's not going to be suitable?

Oh god, I'm going to get flamed aren't I?

I wouldn't be worried if my DC weren't invited to a toddler party! In fact, I can't think that my SIL has invited us to any birthday parties and we have 6 weeks between her DD and my DS. So YANBU.

You don't have to invite him. But there are clearly difficult dynamics. My nephew and daughter are same age. Both 8. Have mostly been invited to each other's birthdays but this year they haven't Nephew went to cinema with friends, dd wouldn't be interested in. Dd had face painting tea party nephew wouldn't be interested in, it was fine as no other underlying politics and we did catch up separately to exchange gifts.

YANBU, and if you are happy to do it then a family tea would be a good solution. DN is, as you say, too old / too big to join in, and not old enough to want to be a helper.

This will get easier at future parties, though - I have the same age gap between my DC's and DC1 tends to be halfway between an attendee and a helper at DC2's parties. It's the toddler bit which makes it hard.

Yeah, a rough and tumble 6 year old in a bouncy house full of toddlers is just a disaster waiting to happen. There's too much of an age gap for a party to be fun for either one until they're both teenagers. I agree with PPs, a separate little get together at a park where they can both play on the jungle gym while you guys catch up would be better.

YANBU

I wouldn't invite a 6 year old to a 2 year old's party, especially as he's not going to be able to play on any of the equipment. What's the point of inviting him and giving him jobs? Invite the family over for cake or something in the evening,

I never invite family to my children's birthday parties. We usually have their party with their friends on the closest weekend to the birthday and then a BBQ in the evening with family, or invite them over for cake on the actual day

Yadnbu.

It can also set a bad precedent, my nephew is ten years old and I had to invite him to my son's fourth birthday. I couldn't invite all of my ds's friends due to them coming. My sister would just invite herself if I tried to suggest leaving him out. It's your child's party and your nephew will learn that not every birthday should be about him.

Like many others - we've always had family for 'birthday tea and cake' on one day, and once they've got to school age and having parties with friends, cousins don't expect to be invited to those.
It's great - my dc love having 3 "birthdays" (the actual day when they open cards and presents and wear a big badge and tell everyone it's their birthday ; the 'family birthday tea' ; and the 'friends party' - what's not to love?

Oh, and my 15 yr old (and 17 yr old) LOVES toddler parties, so nowt wrong with getting big ones along.

iamsoannoyed

Did you ask your brother why your dc hadn't been invited to their parties?

Op YANNBU