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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about the 48 hour school rule

79 replies

QueenofKelsingra · 08/05/2014 20:42

Basically i was called to pre-school for DS1 (4) as he had been sick. he is slightly pale when I pick him up but by the time I get home with him (5 min walk) he is bouncing around wanting to go outside to play and asking for cake Hmm. He eats normally all day, no sickness no bowel issues. he has a habit of sitting with his fingers in his mouth (copying his teething brother) and I think he probably made himself sick accidentally.

I called the pre-school and explained this and asked if he could come in tomorrow assuming still no other symptoms - so 24 hours clear. a blanket now as the policy is 48 hours for ANY sickness OR diarrhoea.

AIBU to think this is an extreme policy and that a bit of common sense should be applied? of course if he had a D&V bug I would keep him off until he was 48 hours clear. but for ONE incident of sickness??

oh and naturally they will charge me for the missed sessions despite it being at their insistence.

and also WIBU to write to the school and challenge this policy as being extreme and unnecessary for one off incidents?

OP posts:
Forgettable · 08/05/2014 23:45

The rule has been adopted from HPA guidance

Mouthfulofquiz · 09/05/2014 03:45

YABU a bit but I can see your point! Not everyone is sensible though. It really pisses me off when I drop DS at nursery and there are kids there with streaking colds, getting dosed up with calpol. I always think 'thanks for that - that will be us in about three days time!'

JellyTipisthebest · 09/05/2014 06:31

At my dc school you can send them back as soon as you feel they are well.(we are not in the UK) bugs seam to still go round but know worse than in the UK. Most things are infections before you know they have them. I was surprised when one of them was ill during the night one night. The school called me because I forgot to call and tell them she was ill. I asked just to check what the rule was and they said she could return the next day if I felt she was well enough. I did send her it had been just over 24hrs but she had eaten a proper meal and kept snacks ect down

meditrina · 09/05/2014 06:43

It isn't just a silly rule schools make up out of thin air - it is based on clinical research about how these things spread and the best way to limit mass infections.

The rule has been adopted from HPA guidance

The rule is the standard across British schools. It is vanishingly rare to have a different exclusion period. If you want it changed, then you will need to start by tackling the national public health guidance.

Yes, it's not perfect - you can be infectious both before and after the symptomatic period, and this covers only one of the two.

As other posters have pointed out, there is already scope for the rule to be varied for diagnosed non-infectious conditions.

What there isn't scope for is for parents (usually with no medical training) to make a decision on infectiousness following an acute bout.

Twolumpsorone · 09/05/2014 07:44

My Son suffers from migraines and has been sick in school a couple of times due to them. Because they know the reason he was sick they let him back the next day.

autumnsmum · 09/05/2014 08:16

It is needed because as a previous poster said you can be infectious for 48 hours afterwards also for people with diabetes amoungst other conditions d& v can lead to hospitalisation

Stinkle · 09/05/2014 08:28

My daughter's primary rule is 24 hours clear for random one off sickness. 48 hours for D&V. Sometimes kids do randomly throw up so it seems quite sensible.

DD1's high school is blanket 48 hours though, regardless of circumstance. DD has migraines, has had them for a while, school know all this - the first sign that one is on its way is that she's sick. She got a migraine at school Wednesday morning and was sick. Called me to pick her up. No problem. Gave her pain killers when we got home, all fine. Right as rain all day yesterday. Except she couldn't go back to school due to the 48 hour rule - then they actually call me to complain about her attendance.

Sometimes there does need to be a little bit of common sense applied. But then I've stood in the playground and overheard another mum saying "oh, yes, he was only sick twice this morning' while looking at her green around the gills child

NaturalBaby · 09/05/2014 08:39

YABU. It's the same rule for all nurseries and schools. Most parents have been in a similar situation, it's frustrating but the rules are there for a reason.

tiggytape · 09/05/2014 08:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BobTheFly · 09/05/2014 08:47

If a school / nursery / childminder doesn't adhere to the 48 hr rule and a child dies or Is seriously ill as a result of poor exclusion then they can be used and /or prosecuted for failure to protect the child/ren.

It's not worth it.

BobTheFly · 09/05/2014 08:48

Sued not used!

autumnsmum · 09/05/2014 08:49

I have to say dd2 attends a special school and many children there are v medically fragile and a bug could be v serious

TiggyD · 09/05/2014 08:56

YABU.

Spreading your child's illness to other children will cause the other children pain and suffering. Do you like hurting children OP?

GiraffeAHolic · 09/05/2014 08:56

Our village nursery has a 72 hour exclusion policy after vomiting!

nomorequotes · 09/05/2014 08:58

Mine has just been off for the last two days OP, had to cancel work and all my plans. He is fine. Especially as you are a SAHM YADBU

Stinkle · 09/05/2014 09:05

Tiggy school have had a letter from my GP confirming the migraines and the symptoms, but it's the rules and they won't make exceptions.

She's been sick, so if she's feeling crappy and wants to come home, that's fine, but to exclude her for the full 48 hours when they know why she's been sick is madness.

In cases like ours, where there's a clear medical reason which has been confirmed by a GP, there does need to be some common sense applied

TiggyD · 09/05/2014 09:12

2 Tiggy's on the thread. Confusing.

To reply to Stinkle's response to Tiggytape's (no relation) post, try referring to the migraines as a disabillity, and ask the school how they are being inclusive.

BiddyPop · 09/05/2014 09:13

This happened us this week, DD is 8. She has had a weak stomach in the past, but when sick, DH and I have always covered it and juggled work etc.

This week though, she is stressed to the gills, is doing too many activities ( we know and are trying to limit), is doing an emotional literacy course for her ASD, has her 1st communion in 8 days and DH and I are also stressed out work wise and with her so a lot more shorty than normal ( which we know doesn't help, but sometimes knowing is not the same as doing).

We'd, she got a taxi to her course with the Au pair. Wednesday. She felt sick en route and got slightly sick on way home. She is prone to carsickness, and on top of all the other stresses, that seemed to be it. She was quiet for the evening, but really really wanted to go to school yest. She'd eaten ok, slept well, and bounced around yest morn. So we agreed she'd go to school, come home instead of athletics afterschool, and it was up to AP and herself to decide on swimming class but definitely taxi not cycling ther if they went.

Had a good day at school (just as well she went as the first practise in church happened and she's been given a job), not happy skipping athletics but did relax at home, went to swimming and was out with a friend climbing trees when I got home.

If I thought it was a bug, I would have kept her home as usual in such cases. But having been reasonably confident what it was, I stayed at home until she got up yesterday (me deciding, not AP) to see if she should go to school or not - she'd have been bored silly at home and caused chaos, missed important stuff at school and emotions would have spilled over yet again.

And I have got calls from school, as she can germinate things fast, but we always bring her home ASAP and keep her home until she's better when it is a virus or infection of some sort. We don't want her to suffer, or anyone else unnecessarily.

BiddyPop · 09/05/2014 09:14

Shorty = shouty

Blinking iPad Angry

Stinkle · 09/05/2014 09:24

Oh, Biddy's post about car sickness reminded me, we've had it with travel sickness too.

DD gets terribly coach sick. I have to give a covering letter and travel sickness pills to her teacher every time she goes on a coach and I also give her those towelling wristbands. Just after Christmas she was on a school trip and she/her teacher forgot about her pill before getting back on the coach to come home. Stepped off the coach and threw up in the bushes - 48 hours off

Fleta · 09/05/2014 09:34

I see no problem with there being dispensation for known conditions that aren't contagious. For example my daughter has asthma - when she's having a particularly bad episode she can cough herself sick - we have agreed with school that in such a case, if she feels well enough she can be in school.

Travel sickness - how ridiculous that your child was made to stay off stinkle

But OP - you may be right about why your child was sick, but you can't be sure and therefore I'm afraid the school are right to enforce the rule

Dwerf · 09/05/2014 09:50

I had similar problems with a child who is sick whenever she is in pain. Ear infection? Copious vomiting. Stubbed toe? Vomited. Appendicitis was a barrel of laughs for her. And she did have a lot of time off school needlessly. Though I did stand my ground when they started to send her home whenever she just said she felt sick (also a drama queen and school avoider). Caused me no end of problems but I agree the 48hour rule needs to be in place.

One year they actually shut the school for two days because they had so many kids coming down with norovirus. This is a 2000 pupil high school. So it can be a serious problem.

allisgood1 · 09/05/2014 10:25

My children cough until they're sick. They get car sick. Guess what? I still apply the 48 hour rule. Have some consideration and do the same.

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 09/05/2014 11:57

to clarify, I have no problem with the 48 hr rule following and genuine D&V illness (although I would point out that there are 2 elements to a D&V, the clue is in the name, upset stomach or loose bowel movements on their own do not equal a D&V illness). I just feel that 24 hours is plenty for a one off episode with no other symptoms from a child who is known to vomit for non-illness reasons.

to the poster who claimed I was more U because I am a SAHM, surely that makes it more likely that I am not lying to get him back earlier, as I have no paid employment that I would need time off from?

I just think the school should be able to use some common sense when it is clear that the child is perfectly well.

oh and the 'do you enjoy hurting children' comment? Oh FFS, give over.

I am just anticipating that once he is at school full time he is going to miss a lot of lesson time and I will be hauled over the coals about his attendance when he doesn't need to be off school. he vomits/coughs up about once a fortnight for non-illness related reasons.

and as everyone keeps saying 'working parents will abuse the rule if it is relaxed' - why does my son have to be penalised for other people's shortcomings?

OP posts:
OwlCapone · 09/05/2014 11:59

Have some consideration and do the same.

Alternatively, you could use some common sense.