To think that health professionals shouldn't say, "You must be crazy" when you tell them this is your third baby?

[Kantha]

It was nicely rather than meanly meant, but is having a third baby really so "crazy"?

If 2.4 children is/was the average, I'm certainly not at the 'extreme' end of the spectrum.

My other children are near 6 and 3, so not very very young.

It's just small talk/banter.

Oh god is there nothing left for them to say, without being criticised for it?

Perhaps they should never make a chatty comment and then people will be moaning that they never talk.

2.4 children isn't the norm anymore. I thought it was 1.7 or something. But then it was a while ago I read that so could have changed again!

Yanbu. 3 dc here, obviously hard work, but if a hcp had said that to me when pregnant with my 3rd, I would have been v pissed off! It also would have fuelled any anxiety about how I was feeling about coping with 3.

I know a thick skin is necessary in pregnancy as people say all kinds of rubbish, by you shouldn't get it from a health care professional.

Congrats btw and all the best with your new baby.

My midwife got me a leaflet for sky tv when I was pregnant with my 4th, she joked all the time about how I was back to see her again after a slow week with nothing on the tv

It's just small talk.

YANBU. It doesn't matter that it is meant as a joke, it is jist not appropriate from an HCP.

Do you take everything people say to you so literally. If it was nicely rather than meanly meant then what is the problem?

It really is just small talk.

They (I) won't give you a second thought after you've left the office.

It's in the same category as 'oh, you're brave' 'oh, lucky you' 'oh, great, a boy/girl/puppy'.

Meaningless pap.

It's just chit chat, the same as "You'll have your hand full."

Thing is, when you are anxious about something, it is those sorts of comments that stay with you. If they come from a stranger, it may be easier to brush them off, but coming from an hcp, an anxious person may give the comment more weight and the anxious thoughts (am I crazy, how WILL I cope?) can take over.

Just talking about my own experience, but I do think hcps should be a bit more sensitive.

I think YANBU. You'll have your hands full seems acceptable to me but calling a patient crazy, never. I don't even think 3 children is a crazy number to have. If you were pregnant with your 13th I'm sorry to say I'd think it but never say it.

YANBU.

It's inappropriate, unprofessional and downright rude.

I am also pregnant with my third and yes friends and inlaws have passed similar comments but not HCP.

Thanks for your thoughts, and the congratulations on the pregnancy.

I completely understand that it is just chit chat. I wasn't upset by it although I was a bit surprised by it coming from a health professional, especially as she was seeing me for further tests for possible genetic abnormalities.

I am happy to accept that I am a bit hormonal though and I can confirm that I am wondering how exactly I will cope with three.

YANBU they shouldn't be making any comments like this at all

YANBU - 4dc here, and "you're brave", "you've got your hands full" etc is annoying, but "you must be crazy" rude - inappropriate from a HCP.

I have five.

I get it all the time.

Funnily enough, I think I actually quite agree with them.

is having a third baby really so "crazy"?

Yes.

Totally inappropriate. Unless you have some kind of health problem that makes a 3rd pregnancy risky, ffs?
I thought 3rd with that gap was totally average, and the you must be crazy comments were reserved for oddballs like me with a 15yr agegap between nos 2 and 3.

Blimey, I'm wondering what the mw thought when I turned up to have my 5 dc!
It's just conversation!

God people can't say anything anymore! It's just small talk, she didn't literally mean you must have a mental illness. People really must be so insecure with their choices if such an inane comment can cause offence.

No, it's not crazy, but I do think that being a little bit crazy has helped at times (perhaps it is some sort of compliment...?).

Had I tried to remain completely sane at all times I would have gone under long ago!

I would rather die than have a third, so just be glad I am not a HCP.

YANBU/YABU, I can understand it gets annoying but they're probably just making small talk. I wouldn't get so wound up by it.

I'm currently pregnant with my third and my ds is only 6 months, should hear the comments we've had too..I just laugh them off. Have to!