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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Real time AIBU - your verdict please!

83 replies

EyelinerQueen · 08/05/2014 12:17

I'm sitting in the health centre waiting room. My midwife appointment was at 12pm. The lady beside me was supposed to be seen at 11.40am but is still waiting.

Last time I was called an hour and 5 minutes after my appointment time Hmm .

I'm under consultant care at my hospital so these standard midwife appointments seem supplementary at best. They last about 6 minutes.

It's hot and stuffy and I'm starving and the dog is waiting for me at home.

WIBU to leave at 12.30pm if I haven't been called (which I won't)? I'd tell the receptionist that I wasn't willing to wait any longer.

AIBU?

OP posts:
thatwhichwecallarose · 08/05/2014 12:43

Well it's your call. I'd wait but if you're happy that problems can be resolved by consultant anyway then what's the pony waiting?!

I've got a midwife appointment today. I'll phone the surgery before I have to leave and find out how far behind they are running first. They always run late.

Itsfab · 08/05/2014 12:47

Depends whether you would blame the midwife should there be something wrong with you or the baby that is found out later or too late.

I think you should wait.

kicksandgiggles · 08/05/2014 12:48

FWIW, in my first pregnancy my MW was always running around an hour late because she was scatterbrained and disorganised. Once you finally got in to see her, she would take lengthy phone calls from other women during the appointment (non-urgent; I actually sat there for more than 10 minutes once whilst she discussed perineal massage with someone), and she couldn't keep details such as how far along you were straight within the appointment. I was not impressed!

Original poster
EyelinerQueen · 08/05/2014 12:52

My baby is fine ItsFab. I had a growth scan last week and he's moving non-stop.

OP posts:
Littledidsheknow · 08/05/2014 12:55

It's a pain, isn't it? I have 5 children and am well used to waiting times of 2 hours + for antenatal appointments. Those were mostly for the hospital appointments, not the midwife at the doctors. I have left in the past, (when I really had to) and once announced to my Dr that I was going to have a home birth so I didn't have to go back to that awful place again (I stuck with it though)! And yes, the long waits were EVERY time, not just a one off.
It is tough and frustrating, but it's important that you get the care you need: you never know when a problem may be detected, and the sooner any concerns are dealt with the better. Next time be prepared to wait and take a book with you!

CrystalSkulls · 08/05/2014 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeachTrees · 08/05/2014 13:01

It's a serious PITA . During my pregnancy, under consultant care also, I was never seen on time and was always waiting 45 mins plus. I was even in the hospital for 4 hours for two appointments that lasted 10 minutes..no money for food and I felt faint.

Somersetlady · 08/05/2014 13:10

Have you thought about going private where there is not so much pressure on resources and you would be seen on time everytime?

As you were see an hour after your appointment last time you went surely you could just schedule extra waiting time into your diary and take something productive to do with you while you wait so it is not dead time. May I suggest that if you are hot and starving next time you wear a t shirt and eat before you turn up for your appointment or do what many do and keep a snack of fruit or something in your handbag.

The number of women needing to see a midwife varies every week I would assume as does what they need procedure wise and discussion wise when they are seeing expectant mums.

You would not be unreasonable to leave if you are happy you don't need the check up. In fact i am sure your leaving would be much appreciated by the under pressure midwife who has too many people to see.

You sound extremely entitled if you don't mind me saying so that your time is evidently more important than that of the practise staff, midwife and other waiting patients. Private check ups are definitely the way forward for your if you are unable to cope with what it on offer through the overstretched NHS..........

Somersetlady · 08/05/2014 13:12

And as an aside my last scan was over 2 hour wait as they were running overbooked as everyone from the bank holiday had been just added to the following Monday. I would have been over the moon if any ladies had decided their time was too precious to wait..........

Backtobedlam · 08/05/2014 13:14

Just be warned you may end up waiting even longer to see the consultant, then waiting for bloods to be taken, then waiting for a scan, then waiting to see the consultant...this seemed to be pretty standard when I was seeing consultant in pregnancy! It's a right pain, made me feel sick and dizzy, but if you want to be seen you don't have much choice.

Original poster
EyelinerQueen · 08/05/2014 13:15

Haha yes I am entitled for daring to expect to be seen in or around the actual time of an appointment and not just sitting around and saying nothing like an obedient idiot Grin .

God bless MN Grin .

I'm at home now with a sandwich and a brew. Glad I didn't waste any more time there. Thanks sensible posters Smile .

OP posts:
Original poster
EyelinerQueen · 08/05/2014 13:17

bedlam I've had to wait around an hour for each consultant appointment. Which I've done happily because they are overseeing my pregnancy and are my primary care-givers Smile .

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 08/05/2014 13:20

I think you should allow extra time, OP, at your next appointment.

Scousadelic · 08/05/2014 13:20

Is it worth a letter to the practice manager asking him/her to look at the booking system? Most NHS computer systems log the time the patient books in to the surgery, is called in to the consulting room and leaves so it should be visible

PersonOfInterest · 08/05/2014 13:21

Why would/should the OP tell a white lie? Why not politely tell the truth?

Perhaps this could actually be useful feedback for improving the service.

By the way ITS NOT FREE, sorry for shouting but patients and staff should remember that we have all paid for the appts, just not at point of service.

Original poster
EyelinerQueen · 08/05/2014 13:23

Scousa I had a chat with the receptionist before I left. She said hour long delays were standard and that there was nothing anyone could do.

The midwife is going to ring me later so I'll explain the situation and see if I can just have my consultant appointments from now on.

OP posts:
passmethewineplease · 08/05/2014 13:24

YANBU OP. My midwife is always late, I once got seen an hour and a half after my appointment time, dp got a right bollocking from work that day!

It's not the lateness that annoys me really it's being left to sit there not knowing. Why can't they just mention they're running late? If they are continuously running late then could they not book out more time for appointments? Or is that not allowed?

At our antenatal clinic they have a white board detailing any delays and wait times for everybody which I think is useful.

DebbieOfMaddox · 08/05/2014 13:29

I'm surprised that you are getting both sets of appointments; I was under consultant care with my last pregnancy and all my appointments were with the consultant (although there'd be a midwife there to do bp, fundal height and urine checks before the consultant came in). I got those instead of the standard midwife appointments.

Are you sure that there hasn't been a cock-up somewhere regarding whether you actually need to be going to this many appointments?

Writerwannabe83 · 08/05/2014 13:29

YABU - I'm sure the MW wasn't sitting down with a cup of tea and a magazine.

I was under Consultant care during my pregnancy and on the last two occasions I saw her I didn't go in until 2 hours after my allotted time. Yes it was frustrating, but it happens. Things can't run to an exact schedule when it comes to working with people and overseeing their emotional and physical well being.

beginnings · 08/05/2014 13:36

You were right to leave.

When I was pregnant last summer, the MW at my GP decided she wanted to see me on a particular date (I wasn't bothered as was already off work so was flexible as to time etc) but was fully booked so double booked her first appointment, asked me to come 15 minutes early, and she'd see me quickly before the clinic. I thought that was really kind so said yes.

I turned up with then 14 month old DD1 a few minutes early and waited, and waited (which is a really fun thing to do for a 14 month old in a GP's surgery). TWENTY minutes after the start of surgery she strolled in. And proceeded to call the other woman who was booked in for the first appointment and who had arrived 20 minutes after me at the surgery as she wasn't supposed to be there early!

I went to the reception desk and said, "I'm really sorry, but I've been here for 45 minutes, my DD really needs a nap and won't in the buggy" and I seem to have missed my slot." The receptionist went in to the MW, the other woman came out and I was seen by the shamefaced MW who admitted she was just late, she hadn't been attending to anything else.

Sometimes, it's not about resources, it's about inefficiency and the fact that they just allow lateness to become the norm. In two pregnancies in the last 2.5 years I was NEVER seen on time for a MW appointment and don't get me started on the appointments for consultants.

YANBU, enjoy your brew and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Nennypops · 08/05/2014 13:58

What is it with the eagerness to jump in and call people entitled for things they haven't said? Somersetlady, OP has never once said or implied that her time was more important than that of the midwives etc; she has simply and accurately pointed out that the appointment system is inefficient and that the people responsible (NOT the midwives) assume that her time is of no importance at all.

For what it's worth, one of the reasons I stuck with the same hospital for all three births for my children - even after moving some distance away - was that they had a sensible appointment system which meant that I rarely had to wait long to be seen. If one hospital could do it, I really can't see why the others can't.

FourForksAche · 08/05/2014 14:13

somerset, I had very bad spd during pregnancy. for some of us, a long wait is a very big deal.

fivepies · 08/05/2014 14:35

This used to happen to me too. My midwife appointments were in a Sure Start Centre and I used to have to wait up to 2 hours. That would have been bad enough but I had hyperemesis so spent the waiting time throwing up or curled in a ball lying on my coat. My midwife knew how bad I was but still never managed to see me on time nor apologise for running so late.
With my second pregnancy my (different) midwife did home visits. I was, and still am, so grateful that she did that.

Kendodd · 08/05/2014 14:44

I once had to wait over an hour to see the mw. I was getting really fed up. Eventually the person in front of me can out with the mw, mw had her arm around this person who had obviously been crying and was being sent straight to hospital. I think she her 'six minute' appointment had lasted just under an hour. I felt really bad about getting annoyed.

I think if I were you op, maybe I'd leave and just see the Dr next week, I don't know.

Kendodd · 08/05/2014 14:49

Oh and btw, I can't think of any other time I've had to wait very long in all three of my pregnancy's for either the mw or Dr.

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