To not want dd2 to go swimming with this person?

[D0oinMeCleanin]

Dd2 has been invited swimming with her friend, her friend's brother and their dad.

I'm not sure about her going, which she is very upset about, particularly because I have just said yes to dd1 going ice skating in the next town with her friend and her friend's grandad. Dd2 only "wants to go up t'road t'baths" (she has a new friend who speaks with a yorkshire accent )

I have no-one sensible to ask opinions from, I've tried my mum (Daily Mail reader) who thinks it "not right" that a SAHD of 2 would invite their daughter's best friend swimming and Twunt just told me he is not being the bad guy and saying no, so it's up to me.

Dd2 cannot swim. She wears armbands but has a habit of taking them off and trying to swim. What she ends up doing is a cross between doggy paddle and drowning very slowly. I'm worried this parent takes his eyes off of dd2 for long enough that she drifts off out of reach, while drowning very slowly. Surely he would naturally pay more attention to his own children, especially as one of them is a pre-schooler?

Sorry a bit off topic here but I am shocked about all the rules that your local pools have. I am from Oz so obviously swimming is more common here but every pool I have been to just says under 12s need supervision. Does this mean single parents with several children can't take their own kids to the pool? Also do you not have swimming lessons run through local schools?

I'm not aware of any rules at ours but I haven't been in years, when I do go it's normally on my lunch break and the children are at school.

Dd1 does swimming lessons at school. Dd2 does not yet.

The local pool runs swimming lessons but these are on a Saturday morning or Sunday evening, both times I am at work. I'm hoping when we move out ex will be more inclined to do things with them, given that he won't be seeing them as often, meaning they'll be able to join local clubs and we'll take turns taking them, although I am not holding my breath on him suddenly becoming father of the year.

I should have time to take them every other week, at least.

Dd2 has no fear of anything. She couldn't be trusted to keep her armbands on because she sees no danger in anything. Giant dog at the park = good for hugs, giant tree at the park = good for climbing, swimming pool = dive straight in and worry about the lack of swimming ability later Her confidence in life is awesome but it can be exhausting at times

I let her go down a water slide on her own last year, wearing her armbands, I waited at the bottom, dd1 waited at the top to bring her down the steps if she changed her mind. The armbands reached the landing pool before dd2 did . She said they were slowing her down so pulled them off on her way down the slide, fully aware that she could not actually swim This is how she learned her half swimming/half drowning technique. How that child has made it to seven is beyond me, she seems intent on causing as much danger to her own personal safety as possible [sigh]

Ok it is interesting how different things are in different places.

Understand completely about being fearless, that best describes my youngest in one word. No advice really unless you can ask the dad if they can be kept to the littlies pool but i also know that is probably not cool at that age.

Just wanted to add I hope the separation works for you I have been a single mum to my boys for a year now and we have never been happier.

I wouldn't let her go in these circumstances, not unless I was went too. I know she will probably be upset but you have to be so careful with swimming and safety.

She knows she is not going now. She took it quite well. It helps that it's another friend's birthday today. I spotted the birthday banners in the window on my way to collect her from school, so she's playing with him and his new birthday toys.

She wanted to get a card for him, but he spotted us on the way to the shop, of course dd2 announced that we were on our for way his birthday card, so he followed us with his entourage and stood peering through the shop window "whispering" about how he likes sweets

Yes, love, you can go up t'baths swimming with x, but not until you can swim 2 whole widths without armbands and without sinking. Show me at the weekend.

from what I know it is a national regulation that only two under eights can go with each adult. Whether they can swim or not doesn't count. Daft rule so inflexible.