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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to report my housemate for harrassment?

61 replies

BabyGwyneth · 07/05/2014 15:57

My housemate is very unfriendly, she ignores me often, and will leave the room when I enter. She will also occasionally close doors after I leave the room, with more force than needed.

AIBU to report her to the police for bullying and harrasment?

OP posts:

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 07/05/2014 16:12

I'm confused. Are you the one leaving the room?

MaidOfStars · 07/05/2014 16:12

And what did the police do?

I'm guessing:

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 07/05/2014 16:13

Ah X-post

TheHouseatWhoCorner · 07/05/2014 16:13

I think its time to look for another housemate.

Original poster

BabyGwyneth · 07/05/2014 16:13

We weren't close, so I didn't generally tend to start conversations with her. Then she flew off the handle and called me an "f*ng b*ch", so I started properly avoiding her. And then she rang the police. She's now refusing to pay her rent and hasn't come home for three days.

We're at a bit of a loss really...

OP posts:

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 07/05/2014 16:14

Yes, report it. Not to the police though, as they won't be interested. How about your Mum?

MaidOfStars · 07/05/2014 16:14

Not talking to her is fine, assuming that you are able to converse on house matters where necessary.

Leaving the room when she enters/shutting the door firmly when she leaves is the PA bit - do you do that? Is it to make a point? I work with someone who does this to me long story and it just makes me laugh.

PrincessBabyCat · 07/05/2014 16:16

Is it a rule you have to get along with your housemates? I always sort of avoided mine. As long as they weren't slobs I didn't particularly care what they were up to.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 07/05/2014 16:17

Do you have a joint-tenancy with this delicate little flower or is it an HMO where you each have separate tenancy agreements?

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 07/05/2014 16:23

Sounds like you have been a fucking bitch to her. Still doesn't mean she can get away with not paying her rent, though.

Original poster

BabyGwyneth · 07/05/2014 16:23

Sadly we have a joint tenancy with the DLF, and she's decided that she wants to disolve the tenancy (which means everyone loses their deposit) rather than just move out (taking her deposit with her.)

OP posts:

DiaryOfAWimpyMum · 07/05/2014 16:25

NickiFury · 07/05/2014 16:28

I wouldn't report you, no, but the slamming the door behind her thing is really aggressive and unpleasant, I would have had a big stand up row with you instead.

MaidOfStars · 07/05/2014 16:29

slamming the door behind her thing is really aggressive and unpleasant

OP is electing not to address this as true or false, deliberate or not...

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 07/05/2014 16:30

Such are the consequences of being a fucking bitch to someone else, I guess. I bet your other housemates are delighted with you.

Still, her wanting to move out does not necessarily mean the tenancy has to end. Negotiate with your landlord to have a replacement tenant added to the tenancy agreement. This will cost money but not all of your deposits.

What's DLF?

Original poster

BabyGwyneth · 07/05/2014 16:34

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted other housemates are as horrified as I am!

OP posts:

TrueToYou · 07/05/2014 16:34

nicki it occurs to me that if the glue sniffer would ever CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR BEHIND HER, op wouldn't have to get up a do it herself!
Who is being pa?
(bitter experience of 3 children and a dog who won't close the door behind them!) I forgive the dog though sometimes

Ronmione · 07/05/2014 16:35

She will also occasionally close doors after I leave the room, with more force than needed.

Is this intended to intimidate you flat mate

CoilRegret · 07/05/2014 16:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaidOfStars · 07/05/2014 16:38

She will also occasionally close doors after I leave the room, with more force than needed. Is this intended to intimidate you flat mate

Indeed OP, would be interested to hear your response...

PoundingTheStreets · 07/05/2014 16:38

Blimey. She sounds unhinged. Even if you're a completely unfriendly snooty so-and-so calling the police is waaaay OTT.

I think if it were me I would just do whatever is necessary to facilitate her leaving as quickly as possible with as little fuss as possible, then breathe a huge sigh of relief.

Out of interest, what did the police do?

Original poster

BabyGwyneth · 07/05/2014 16:41

On the door slamming: No, it's because we have a cat who isn't supposed to get out, and we tend to smoke outside the French windows and she hates it when the house smells of smoke (fair enough). To be fair, I tend to give it a push to shut it, rather than doing it gently. But if she'd ever mentioned it I would have stopped instantly.

The police told me to avoid her. Ironically.

OP posts:

PoundingTheStreets · 07/05/2014 16:43

The police told me to avoid her.

Summerbreezing · 07/05/2014 16:43

She sounds like she has mental health problems. The police won't be interested, I'm sure they're used to dealing with stuff like that.

My priority would be to get her out of my life. But she does sound as if she needs some help or intervention. Do you know anyone in her family you could make aware of her strange behaviour?

UncleT · 07/05/2014 16:44

Can we not just stick to real life topics?

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