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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this woman was rude?

76 replies

Topaz25 · 07/05/2014 13:05

I'm probably being a bit oversensitive due to the circumstances. I took my rat to the vet today to have a lump looked at. It's only round the corner so I walked home through the allotments. I said hi to a lady I know in passing, she asked what was in the pet carrier and when I said it was a pet rat she made a point of telling me how much she hates rats. He was in a pet carrier so I was clearly bringing him back from the vets and obviously I care about him. AIBU to think this was rude and unnecessary?

OP posts:
Original poster
Topaz25 · 07/05/2014 15:59

I wouldn't have been at all offended if she had said oh or that she was scared of rats. It's the use of the word hate that was annoying. She has a dog. I happen to like all animals but if I disliked dogs as some people do I wouldn't tell her I hate her dog because that's her pet and that's not polite. I just think it's annoying that I probably wouldn't have got the same reaction if I said I had a hamster although I have had hamsters before and IME they are not as friendly or intelligent as rats. Also I think even people who hate rats are aware that their owners don't normally take them for walkies in a pet carrier so it was fairly clear that I had come from the nearby vet. I was just surprised she would say something so negative out of nowhere when I was trying to make polite conversation. I think she would be upset if she was bringing her dog back from the vet and someone had told her that they hated dogs, it's just not necessary.

OP posts:
OnlyLovers · 07/05/2014 15:59

Countess, I'm impressed by your certainty but I still think it's a sweeping statement.

Original poster
Topaz25 · 07/05/2014 16:11

The vet has prescribed antibiotics in case the lump is an abscess and a follow up in a weeks time to see if it has reduced. He said it didn't seem like a tumour, so that is good news. I think it might be a cyst.

OP posts:
PrincessBabyCat · 07/05/2014 16:12

I've had rats and didn't really care for them. They feel too much with their mouths and the nipping always scared me because I was never sure if they would chomp down and cause blood. They never did, but they did pinch a couple times.

Don't worry we get it a lot when we tell people we have a snake. I can't tell you how many people kept trying to tell us we needed to get rid of it once we had the baby. It's more likely to be squished and killed by DD if it ever got out, not the other way around.

It is rude though. If you see someone that cares about their pet, the least you can do is not talk about how disgusting it is. Dogs are equally disgusting considering they eat poop, lick their crotch and then lick you. Wink

rinabean · 07/05/2014 16:21

YANBU, even if she's terrified of them and it slipped out she could have followed it with 'well I hope it went well' or whatever. Fear or dislike of a small caged animal doesn't justify being rude, it's not like you were walking your lion on an extendable lead or something.

I'm scared of dogs, I don't say things like this to dog owners, especially because I'm scared! I don't want to do or say anything to provoke a dog or even worse to make someone set their dog on me. So I don't believe she was afraid at all really.

OnlyLovers · 07/05/2014 16:30

rina, that's made me imagine a rat owner setting their rat on someone who says they don't like it. Grin

Pumpkinpositive · 07/05/2014 16:59

I am a bit at the idea of paying money to a vet to treat a rat. I just shake my head in disbelief.

It's a good job you don't keep one then. I wouldn't like to think of a sentient creature suffering from a perfectly curable condition just because it's owner doesn't think its worthy of treatment.

Do unto others - including ones pet rat. Smile

CountessVronsky · 07/05/2014 17:07

What do you make of rat poison, then?

Pumpkinpositive · 07/05/2014 17:11

What do you make of rat poison, then?

My mother in law likes it in her tea.

OnlyLovers · 07/05/2014 17:45

What do you make of rat poison, then?

Um. What are you asking?

CorusKate · 07/05/2014 17:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaggieDoesntGoHereAnymore · 07/05/2014 17:53

Why wouldn't you take a rat to the vet?

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 07/05/2014 17:58

"What do you make of rat poison, then?"

What a bizarre thing to ask! Really, that question says a lot about you.

parentalunit · 07/05/2014 18:58

She was probably a bit taken aback, plenty of people lose the brain-mouth filter in those circumstances.

YABU. Hope your rat is doing ok.

Viviennemary · 07/05/2014 19:02

I don't like rats either. But she was tactless since it was obviously your pet.

SuperFlyHigh · 07/05/2014 19:09

agree with parental - the lady you KNOW HER IN PASSING - she's not a close friend.

She didn't mean to hurt the OP and I bet if she knew the fuss you (OP) were making about it now would be falling over herself to apologise or minimise her comment.

it was a passing, flippant comment, not designed to hurt feelings!

MyrtleDove · 07/05/2014 19:11

Countess rat poison is for wild rats that can spread disease. It's not used for domestic rats. In any case, why is it odd that someone would pay a vet to treat their pet when its ill? That's what vets are for, no?

As to the OP, I think the woman was rude - she may not like rats but it was clearly not the time or place to say so. If the OP had kids and the woman had said that she hated children, I bet people wouldn't be so dismissive.

CorusKate · 07/05/2014 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smartypants1000 · 07/05/2014 19:26

YAB a bit U - if it had been me and you'd said you had a rat in there I wouldn't have been able to stand there and carry on talking to you! But I'll try to remember for future reference that "I'm scared of rats" is politer than "I hate rats". I'd probably be offended if I had been walking my dog and someone said, "I hate dogs", to be fair, even though I know not everyone likes them.

The person who said something along the lines of "why would you pay to go to the vet with a rat?" is BVVVU though - if you keep a pet, you've got an obligation to care for it and not let it suffer, and the thought of letting an animal suffer is neglectful and disgusting.

TheFairyCaravan · 07/05/2014 19:30

You'd have hated me because I would have got up and moved! Just reading this thread has made me shudder. Sorry, I wish I could like them but I can't.

I love my hamsters, my older one is incredibly tame and intelligent. He has been to the vet when he was off colour, why wouldn't you take a poorly, much loved pet for treatment?

TheRealAmandaClarke · 07/05/2014 19:34

Sorry about your pet.
The woman was a bit rude IMHO.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 07/05/2014 19:35

But if you'd had a tarantula in there I'd probably have a different point of view Blush

MyrtleDove · 07/05/2014 19:42

If I met someone with a pet tarantula, I'd say 'ooh you're brave' or something like that, not just 'I hate tarantulas'. I do hate tarantulas but I wouldn't insult someone else's pet.

Nennypops · 07/05/2014 19:43

Why should she know you were returning from the vet's? You might have just bought it, or be bringing it back from showing it to someone, or collecting it after leaving it with someone while you were on holiday.

ScarlettlovesRhett · 07/05/2014 19:53

I can't stand rats, or any little rodenty type things with their horrid little trembling claws. I would have probably said the same tbh, so I don't think she was wrong really.

However, he's still your pet and mine or anyone else's opinions on rats are of no consequence - I hope he's ok and the lump isn't anything serious or painful. [cheese, or whatever they eat] for the rat & Thanks for you.