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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have told the ebay seller to stop!

41 replies

MyFirstName · 06/05/2014 13:43

Auction ended on 30th April
Notification item posted to me on 1st May.

All so lovely so far.

Then an email from seller on Bank Holiday Monday as to why have I not yet left feedback...please contact them if any issues etc etc....

I just sent a brief message back saying "I have not received it yet so that is why I have not yet left feedback"

Then, parcel arrived this morning. Have not had a chance to open it yet (went out as soon as the Postman had delivered it). About ten minutes later another email from the seller "Have you chased your post office, you should have received it now"

OH just FUCK OFF!

Jeez. Value is less than £20. It was posted SECOND class recorded. Over a bank holiday weekend Give me a fucking chance. It is clothing. You know I may want to try it on before I leave feedback FFS.

So I sent seller a mail just saying "Please stop. I have post this morning, I haven't checked it."

And this seller is angling for 5* feedback!

So WIBU...or should I have been stroppier Grin.

OP posts:
SomethingAboutNothing · 06/05/2014 13:45

They sound crazy! YWNBU at all, I would mark their feedback down because of the pestering.

pillowaddict · 06/05/2014 13:50

Em...I don't know if you missed out a few stroppy emails in between those in your op, but I do think that you overreacted tbh. As far as I can see all they did was ask if you had received it, which could be seen as good customer service really, maybe they were a bit pushy re feedback but I honestly don't think it merits a 'fuck off' (I know you didn't send that in your response btw!)

FatalCabbage · 06/05/2014 13:51

Mark them down on communication. Nobody should chase for feedback unless it's been weeks.

Hope you like it, whatever it is.

MissMooMoo · 06/05/2014 13:52

I really hate when sellers chase for feedback, if they send multiple emails I always rate their communication stars lower, it is OVER communication. yanbu

wheresthelight · 06/05/2014 13:54

Mark them down and then use the online chat thing to report them for harassment if it bothers you that much but to be quite honest I think you are being a bit pathetic

LavenderGreen14 · 06/05/2014 13:56

feedback is voluntary - they have no right to nag you for it, it is not an integral part of the transaction. If they nag like that they may end up with a few negs tbh.

christinarossetti · 06/05/2014 14:04

Don't mark the seller down or report them for harrassment! Honestly, selling on e-bay seems really stressful. Never done it, but it certainly seems a stressful way to make a few quid.

You could have just not responded this morning, and left it until you'd opened it and had feedback to give tbh.

Sounds like you're making a mountain out of the veritable to me.

Original poster
MyFirstName · 06/05/2014 14:48

OK - willing to accept a mountain has been made. A bit Grin. Just felt a bit houndy and a bit soon. If you send something second class you really shouldn't be chasing for feedback 1-2 working days later!!!

I would not mark as negative feedback but I am certainly not going to be giving the 5 stars the seller was asking for for communication!

OP posts:
OldBagWantsNewBag · 06/05/2014 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

glammanana · 06/05/2014 14:56

I was under the impression that feedback is voluntary on both sides,I always wait until any buyer leaves feedback before I do mine as do most of the people I buy from,the only thing that annoys me is when a seller does not up date when an item has been sent,but thats just me.

Coumarin · 06/05/2014 15:04

Annoying but it's only two emails and you didn't have to reply until later.

Calm down.

LavenderGreen14 · 06/05/2014 15:06

Lots of people never leave feedback - it is not compulsary. Sellers demanding it are out of order tbh. Demanding 5 stars is also presumptuous and cheeky.

Coumarin · 06/05/2014 16:21

Ah I see Lavender In which case it is really annoying. I wouldn't leave any feedback then.

chipsandpeas · 06/05/2014 16:45

are they a new seller? as paypal may have held their money if they are until you have left feedback

TheWickerWoman · 06/05/2014 17:11

Oh I've had this!

A seller in china sending some cat head stocking things for my daughter, they must have cost me all of four quid.

First was message to ask me to leave good feedback (before I'd received the item) it was a day or two after I'd paid and not forgetting how far they had to be shipped

Second was demanding payment (even though I'd already paid and they'd previously thanked me for payment) plus a little warning about what happens if people don't pay up!

Then another (not apologising about the payment message error) but again asking for good feedback.

Jeez they were a nightmare, I think I got three or four by the time the item was received.

sarine1 · 06/05/2014 17:35

OP. EBay is horrendous to sell on at the moment. Sellers are incredibly stressed about low stars and poor feedback and the new DEFECT system. Sadly the less insightful do sometimes hassle poor buyers about it. Of course it often results in them getting low stars from a buyer who feels harassed. And as Chips says, new sellers don't get their money from Paypal until buyers leave them good feedback. A nightmare all round for some. If you can cut the seller some slack - i.e. don't ding their stars - just tell them how irritating they are, you'd be doing them a favour.

lessonsintightropes · 06/05/2014 17:52

Yanbu, how bloody irritating!

DarylDixonsDarlin · 06/05/2014 18:19

I am wondering why OP needs to try the item of clothing on before she leaves feedback?

Surely if it has arrived, well packaged and timely, without any defects, it is the same colour, size and fabric as the listing description, then the seller has fulfilled their part of the transaction? Do you leave feedback according to whether an item fits you or not? Bit unfair if so!

Andrewofgg · 06/05/2014 18:42

Invite them to go forth and multiply.

Original poster
MyFirstName · 06/05/2014 19:23

Daryl - I think trying it on is an excellent way of making sure there are no defects tbh. To see if it true to size? As described. Quality as expected? For clothing. You think I should just look at it? Seriously - would you NOT try something on before leaving feedback? Really? "Oh thank you very much looks great." 3 days later..."Oh sorry I finally tried it on and the quality was so shoddy the seam split"....that would be a good idea? Really. I know this is AIBU but come on - don't pick for the sake of it. I have said I was maybe being a bit U!

OP posts:
SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 06/05/2014 19:29

I also don't think you need to try something on to leave feedback!

You can see everything you mentioned above (fabric quality, defects etc.) with your eyes.

That said, I am an eBay Business Seller and never ever chase for feedback. If someone wants to leave it, great. If not, don't.

Original poster
MyFirstName · 06/05/2014 19:37

So maybe I don't need to. But maybe I want to. Just like when I bought a phone on ebay I plugged it in and charged it before I left feedback. Feedback is based on my opinion. Opinion of the service yes, but also if the item matches it's description. In my opinion I would be mad not to be comfortable I have tested the product before I give my opinion before.

OP posts:
EduardoBarcelona · 06/05/2014 19:38

i hate being asked for feedback

EduardoBarcelona · 06/05/2014 19:39

Daryl - you would think
i got a neg for refusing to pay for the seller to send something back that didnt fit her.
SHE BOUGHT IT no returns, suck it up lady

LavenderGreen14 · 06/05/2014 19:56

You cannot state no returns - it is worthless.

And I agree try an item on before leaving feedback - flaws, rips, open seams, often don't become apparent until you try something on.