To want my money back!

[Missy1501]

So last year a group of friends decided to book a girly holiday for this summer. I was invited at the time I was pregnant and knew my lo would be around a year old by the time the holiday came round so I said I MIGHT come will know definitely nearer the time. So I said I would book mine separately.
A few days later they had booked the apartments and said can I pay £100 towards apartment cost and then book flights separately nearer the time, so I did this.

Now the time is here I have decided not to go , I've told them this and asked for the money back - only to be told that no I can't have it back coz it was a set price for the two apartments and only if someone else goes do I get my money back!!
Surely they should all now pay the difference between themselves - why should I pay so they all get a cheaper room? Aibu ?

I don't think I've let them down! I never said yes I'm definitely coming! We would speak regularly about if I had decided on a weekly basis mostly them trying to convince me to go but last week I decided that I really didn't want the argument with work that it is possible for two of us to be off at the same time (been done numerous times before) and two I didn't feel right leaving my ds!
I've not let anyone down.

Yabu think of it from their point of view. This booked an apartment fir said number of people then one doesn't want to come and they have to cover the extra. I'd be cheesed off. You paid the deposit which says you are going. No tour operator would return the money. It's a deposit to hold your place. Apologies to your friends for letting them down and write off the money unless you can get someone else to go in your price.

YABU. I'm having an issue atm where I'm organising a group trip and had to have firm numbers to book accommodation. People gave firm yes's in the knowledge that once they said yes id pay the deposit and the cost would need to be split between those who said they were coming. Now, when it comes to asking for money, 2 people have said they cannot come. Ive explained AGAIN how they had committed already and cost had been apportioned as per the numbers so they would still need to pay thier share. 1 has paid no problem, the other has gone quiet and I van only assume that they don't intend to pay. That now means that everyone else has to pay more and that's just not on in my book. Selfish behavior tbh.

Missy have you missed the point that when you pay a deposit you're committing yourself to be involved in those plans?

Genuine question.

You're not getting it are you OP? You paid a deposit. That's a commitment to the holiday and as others have said, no tour operator would return your deposit so why should your friends?

You should have given them either a firm no or a yes but you didn't and kept your options open. Therefore I think it is reasonable of them to expect you to pay your share.

Why did you give them the £100 towards an apartment they'd booked for you when you'd told them not to book anything for you?

Given that you did hand over the cash rather than say "No, remember that I said not to include me in your booking as I may not make it?" then of course they don't have to refund your money. It would be ridiculous for the people going not to have any idea what the holiday was going to cost them until they knew how many people were going to drop out.

Sorry but by paying the money you made a commitment

It's a shame that you didn't realise the implications, but I think you will have to lose the 100 and mark this down to experience.
Not worth losing all your friends by arguing about it.

Your deposit was you reserving the right to join them if you wanted to closer to the time. Can't you see that?

What would be the point of paying a deposit otherwise????!!!!!!

Lux - I honestly know what you are saying I paid for my space but when I paid I said to them I'm still only a maybe / so I just assumed (I know ass u me etc etc)
I'm not looking for a slating from anyone just really didn't know the protocol for something like this, never done it before!

When you gave the deposit did you say here, I am giving this, but I haven't decided whether I am coming yet or not and if I don't, I will expect this deposit back

?

Meant to add - at the end of the day though, it doesn't matter what we think. We aren't your friends and we don't have any say in the matter. If they won't return the deposit then they won't. you'll have to find someone to replace you or lose the money.

Just chalk it up to experience. Your friends owe you nothing...I think you can see this is the consensus here. You'll know better next time.

Missy I know it's easy for us to say what we're saying. Everyone makes mistakes. I understand to lose £100 especially when kids are on the scene is extremely annoying but I think it's a (very expensive) learning experience. Do you value the friendship of your friends over the money?
If you put your foot down you may well get the hundred quid but I'm sure you'll lose your friends.

Also maybe hide this thread now. It will piss you off

I really think it depends on the details of the conversations you had before they booked.

From your OP you were very clear you might not go and you said you'd book separately. But then they went and booked for you anyway and you paid up. So I wonder if you were as clear as you have indicated. If you were then I would have thought you'd thrash it out with them when they booked ("Why did you do that, I'm only a might, I said I'd book for myself. What happens if I can't go?" type of thing).

It was certainly a mistake to hand over money if you were expecting to get it back without a firm agreement. I think you have to chalk this up to experience.

I've not had the argument with them that I think I should get my money back! I just asked what happens to the money I paid and that's the response I got back. I do see the points and will have to put it down as an expensive lesson learnt!

Sounds like it was pretty one-sided as in you wanted to keep your options open otherwise why did you not book the time off work then?

If that was the deposit then presumably they are now having to stump up for the balance, the cost of which has now risen for them with you dropping out. So unless you find someone else to take your place you really can't expect to get your deposit back as they are already having to fork out more than anticipated.

Yabu. They may have been able to get a smaller, cheaper apartment without you. Why should everyone else pay extra to accommodate you? What would happen if everybody else did this. I'm sure if it were the other way round you would not want to foot the bill for someone else. Can't quite believe you expected them to do this- it's is being entitled. Don't mean to be nasty, but you'll just have to count this one as a loss. Next time book your own hotel too.

YABU - I would have thought it was obvious you wouldn't get the £100 back if you didn't go. You really can't mess people around like this - they would need to find someone else to fill that space.

Deposits give you the opportunity to keep your options open but the deal is you don't get them back if you decide not to go.

By not going you've already bumbed up the price for the others as there are fewer of them covering the full cost of the villa. Now you also expect them to cover your deposit as well!

£20 is more than the adults in my family spend on birthdays for each other so you are being very unreasonable and self centred not to appreciate this is your problem and not up to everyone else to pay for your indecision.

£100 was full cost not deposit

If you had said from the outset that you definitely were not going on the holiday then they might have been able to book a cheaper smaller apartment. YABU.

Aren't apartments normally booked as a set price whether 2 people go or 4?