To be annoyed that FIl commented on my not drinking today and last week?

[PilauMice]

I'm 7 wks pg and we will tell people when we are ready. Asking questions like that are just awkward and you won't get a straight response. MIL and GMIL just stayed silent, thankfully. FFS. AIBU?

Some people have no tact. I would bring along a packet of gobstopper sweets and give a couple to your fil just before you announce YOUR wonderful news . Congrats, don't let fil ruin this special time for you and your dh.

Poor man, he was only asking a question.

If you drink a lot I'm surprised you didn't have an answer ready.

I know what you mean OP about wanting to keep it a secret, its a scary time those first few weeks. I don't drink so I got away with it on that score but there were restrictions at work for me once I told them so everyone guessed anyway.

Congratulations :)

Ooh, yes, what a horrible nosy old bloke fishing for the news his son might be going to be a father. How very dare he stick his nose in.

Look on the bright side, at least it wasn't your - horror - MIL.

Or maybe he was hoping you've joined AA?

Some people do get hopeful and nosy about grandchildren. It's, er, quite natural.

YAB a little bit U, he is probably just excited, either that or he just didn't think. You've got to expect these questions if you usually drink a lot.

If you really drink that much that it's noticed when you aren't drinking - you might have a drinking problem.

I would want to know why someone wasn't drinking when it's norm that they do.

It could be a simple lifestyle change, pregnancy or medication, but I would want to know so I am not offering every time.

What a shit.

Are you, erm, a little bit hormonal, OP?

If you want a good, believable excuse for not drinking just say "Oh, sorry, I couldn't touch a drop today I've got a blinder of a hangover".

I think it's quite normal to tell those closest to you early on anyway, we told both sets of parents as soon as we knew but didn't make it public knowledge til 12 weeks. Poor guy might not have even put two and two together, I imagine a lot of men wouldn't!

hahaha funky really?

Just be grateful you can eat op, that one really gives the game away ......

"WooWooo Mon 05-May-14 19:10:33

Say that you are doing lent but missed the start so are doing it now?
"

and the end - in fact she could say she was getting it out of the way early for next year :o
OP people will speculate and guess. It really can't be a huge revelation I'm afraid. The only thing is that they won't know for certain until you confirm it.

I was annoyed because I think that if he has put two and two together then it's rude to ask. MIL had a miscarriage before she had DH and BIL so when we told them I was pregnant with DS a few years ago they were really adamant that we shouldn't be telling anyone so early (we told them when I was 6 weeks as they were going abroad for 6 months). So I would expect him to get it and not ask!

In retrospect I think FIL was just saying what was in his head and he hasn't put two and two together. However, now he has said that, I think MIL and GMIL have!

Also they are lovely, they adore my DS and if everything works out well they will adore the new one too. I was just moaning about a man making an awkward comment, his inlaw-iness is irrelevant.

Also the week before DH and I did the wine swapping trick. Obviously that wasn't as convincing as I thought!

We were in a restaurant this time and thought it would probably be noticed so I tried to unfussily order a soft drink with no declarations about anti biotics or heavy nights before. Fail.

So do you now think you might have been a teensy bit UR?

It is rude to ask if people suspect but the person in question hasn't said

I'm unreasonable to not expect them to be interested but I think it's unreasonable, given their own experience of early pg, to ask me why I'm not drinking two week on the trot. Or at least insensitive.

Or perhaps he genuinely did not make the connection and just asked? Do you really need to find fault in his question? Could you be being a little over sensitive and seeing something that isnt actually there?

I mean his own experience of early pregnancy was what 30 years ago? Possibly not in the forefront of his mind while having dinner in a restaurant.

Don't see the problem tbh; he was passing a comment!

While YABU, I know what you mean OP. It's annoying when you are trying to keep something low key and someone else (even jokingly) shouts it out loud. And your FIL should know it's annoying from the times it happened to him/his DW when they were younger.

I rarely drink and after I got married all family started asking if I was pregnant each time. It happened so many times though that I got away with it when I actually was

Next time start some fake rumours first!

Perhaps he thinks you might be ill/is concerned?

Thank God I'm not such a drinker that it would be noticed if I didn't!

You told him earlier than this last time, perhaps he's guessed and is desperate to know for sure?
There really is no way out of the suspicious looks if you're a known drinker! I avoided alcohol for the "two week wait" every month when ttc, so got very used to this.