Sorry if this is long but don't want to drip feed.
I have been friends with a girl for about 25 years. We used to meet up when we could as we've sometimes lived in different countries. She was a bridesmaid at my wedding (one of two - the other being my sister). We now live about 40 mins car journey from each other. Her parents and her DH's parents live near me and she lives near my sister.
For as long as I can remember, it's always been difficult to get her to arrange a time/date to meet as if I suggest something, her stock answer is "I can't make it". If I say "let me know when you're free", I don't hear from her and she rarely initiates meeting up. Or sometimes if we do manage to arrange a date, she'll cancel with a lame excuse (IMO) at the last minute.
When I became pregnant with DS she was thrilled and said that it would be the closest thing to being pregnant/being a mum to her as she can't have children due to health reasons. She's an only child too so no siblings to share an experience with either and she's always said that I'm the closest thing she has to a sister.
I probably only saw her 2 or 3 times during my pregnancy but put it down to us both working full time and me being tired.
When I gave birth, she was the only friend I invited to the hospital to see me (I was in for 5 days as I was very poorly) and on a photo I had posted on Fb of her and DS she wrote 'my boy'. I was happy that she was happy and felt like she was going to be a big part of DS's life.
Fast forward 17 months and she's seen DS a further twice (maybe three times) and I've seen her once more as we went to a gig with my sister and another friend. She knows I was on mat leave for a year and have gone back to work 3 days a week so am available a lot more. Her and her DH were invited to DS's 'family only' first birthday party, but an hour before it started, she text to say that their boiler had broken and they both had to stay in and wait for the repair man (they both drive and have a car each).
On New Years Eve, her, another friend and myself were trying to arrange to meet up in the afternoon for a few hours. She said she couldn't make it until a certain time so there were numerous texts back and forth on that morning, trying to arrange it so she could come, after about an hour she said she wouldn't come after all.
It was another 6 weeks before she text me again saying she has DS's birthday and Christmas presents and she'll drop them around to my sister's house if that's easier for me. (Not even a 'how are you') so I wrote back asking how she was, how was work and inviting her round or to meet up so she could give DS the presents herself. Three weeks later I receive a reply saying she can't come round as she's just found another health problem and has just had it seen to.
I stewed on this for a few days but gave her the benefit of the doubt, I text her again saying I knew she was having a tough time at the moment (she found out last October that she can't adopt either - I don't know why) and I would like us to have a catch up so as the Easter holidays were coming up, to let me know when she was free and we'd arrange something. She replied saying it would be nice to see me as I'm the closest thing she has to a sister. Not a sausage about a date to meet and nothing since.
Yesterday I found out that she had gone to my niece's birthday party on Friday - the same party which my niece told me that no adults were invited to (apart from her mum and dad obviously). She was also at my nephew's first birthday (last June) and several baby showers of her other friends, in the last few months.
I'm really torn at the moment - I really couldn't care less now if I saw her again or not and don't want to ask again about meeting up but my sister knows all of this and doesn't see a problem. She thinks I'm BU as she thinks 'friend' is a lovely person and has been going through a tough time so I should cut her some slack.
So, AIBU to not want to see her again?