To not want ex in my house every day?

[babyinmyarms]

We broke up when I was pregnant.

DD is now 4 months old and EBF.

Ex wants to come round every evening to see DD (understandable) - but some days I'm just not up to it.

DD isn't the best sleeper and quite frankly I am exhausted at the best of times - some evenings I just want to get baby to bed on time and chill out for an hour before crashing out myself. On the evenings he visits she just doesn't get to sleep as well as he winds up at a time she needs to be settling down. He can't get to us any earlier as he works.

I end up feeling guilty as I cancel sometimes, but to be honest I just don't want him coming round so often. I think he snoops around when I'm upstairs feeding DD too which makes me feel tense, DD then feels the tension which stops her going to sleep.. Argh.

Am I unreasonable to suggest we limit the visits to a couple of days per week? What is normal?
He adores DD and would be with her as much as he can.

It's just exhausting for me and an added pressure to daily life with a young baby.

AIBU?

I would now text him, explain what you have told us, too tired, every night too much and ask what he thinks a suitable compromise is, see what he comes back with. Stay calm, don't mention solicitors at the moment. You have to have a relationship with him for the next 50 odd years

You are taking away his control which is why he is angry. It's great he wants to bond with his baby but he has to see that it isn't always possible on his terms.
I would call a solicitor to find out how much legal contact time he is entitled to. I know that sounds really crap but neither of you can move on with him basically living in your house everyday.

I would also be a bit worried about your income, if on benefits. If you have nosy bitchy neighbours like mine they may assume he is living there and that can affect your benefits if they are the type to snitch on you.