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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it wouldn't kill them to pull over once in a while?

310 replies

Featherbag · 03/05/2014 15:08

We're driving through County Durham, it's a beautiful day and were heading to a lovely village for afternoon tea and ice cream for the toddler. We're on a National Speed Limit road, single lane, stuck behind a horse box doing 23mph. There are 8 cars in front of us also stuck behind it, and I can't see the back of the queue. It's been like this for almost half an hour - AIBU to think it would be polite of the horse box driver to pull the fuck over every now and then to let the queue pass?!

OP posts:
ComposHat · 05/05/2014 14:22

Audi RS6 is a decent guess. An Alfa maybe?

Original poster
Featherbag · 05/05/2014 14:37

BWAHAHAHAHA @ Clarkson! Maybe in another 30 years! And no, I'm not saying what the car is, but no one's mentioned it yet.

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 05/05/2014 15:40

No need to say what make the car is - it's of no relevance to the thread.

MinesAPintOfTea · 05/05/2014 17:59

On a windy road I'd be surprised if they were seeing any potential stopping places with enough time to safely slow down and stop for them.

And I'm remembering the "Dad racer" who shot past our campervan on a rural road. Shortly followed by an unmarked police car which had also been in the queue. I'd been looking for a passing place with enough time to stop safely for 10 minutes

Mrsmorton · 05/05/2014 18:23

OP, you were going for ice cream and a cup of tea? You've no idea if these people were going about their business, you know, to pay their bills and shit? Not jut fucking about in their latest toy car "dad racer" Hmm who's got more right to be there??

Obviously when you last drove a horse box there were well signposted lay-bys but possibly not this time. Driving horses, you need notice in order to slow down gently and pull in to an appropriate space to let people get their time critical ice creams so you can get out again safely.

Having an enormously traumatic car accident as a teenager where some cunt thought he was more important than our landy and horse box and watching my beloved horse haemorrhage and eventually be shot in front of me whilst I was prepared for the air ambulance has caused me to have little patience with people who think that country roads with a national speed limit = 60mph.

Original poster
Featherbag · 05/05/2014 18:48

While you of course have my every sympathy for the horrible thing that happened to you mrsmorton that doesn't give you the right to, frankly, be a total dick to me. I've never said or implied that we had more right than anyone else to be on the road, I've never said or implied that I or my DH are dangerous drivers (we are very far from that, we had our 2 small children in the back and my DH has done several safer driving courses - because he wanted to, not because he was made to because of some infringement, he's never even been warned by the police because he is a good driver). Neither of us speed. Ever.

I have every right to be frustrated by someone insistent on doing a very slow speed on a NSL road despite the HUGE queue building up being them. As I said earlier, there were about 8 cars between us and the horse box and I couldn't actually see the last car in the queue even on the straighter stretches. That is selfish driving.

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 05/05/2014 19:17

Oh for heaven's sake MrsMorton - whilst your experience was terrible the OP is not the person who drove badly and caused your accident, nor did her husband drive dangerously. You made massive assumptions there which were completely unjustified and unfair.

Many of us have been stuck behind drivers who will not, under any circumstance, pull over - despite there being ample opportunity to do so. I drive a busy, rural A road twice a day to and from work - it's a road which is one of the main routes to the motorway south out of Scotland. Loads of HGVs use it, and there are laybys along the way that big enough for them (and horse boxes) to pull into and out of safely - so you would have thought that small cars would be able to do so too. It would appear not. Some people are simply controlling dicks who enjoy seeing a build-up of traffic in their rear view mirror - it makes them feel big about themselves, or something.

TequilaMockingbirdy · 05/05/2014 19:22

Agree with SirChenjin

And I'm still not sure why people are using the joke the OP made about her husband in a negative and bitchy way.

Sorry for all the mean comments OP you don't deserve them.

Kitsmummy · 05/05/2014 19:30

Tell us the bloody car! My guess is bmw or Audi estate? I'm getting a bmw estate, does that make me a mum racer? Exciting!

SirChenjin · 05/05/2014 19:35

Nope - don't tell anyone what the car is. It's totally irrelevant.

TequilaMockingbirdy · 05/05/2014 19:40

As long as it's not like my stepdads midlife-crisis-mobile it's fine Grin

SirChenjin · 05/05/2014 19:45

I did laugh at your description of your Step-Dad's convertible Grin.

And then I stopped laughing, because I realised that if your SD was blasting our The Safety Dance and Ice Ice Baby he's probably around the same age as me (mid forties?)

TequilaMockingbirdy · 05/05/2014 19:47

Haha yeah he's about 46/47 Grin it's funny looking back but I was giving him evils from the window!

SirChenjin · 05/05/2014 19:51

Yeah, well, you just wait Tequila - 20-odd years from now you'll be pulling up to your daughter's house in your mid-life sports car with your tunes from 2014 belting out, and she'll be hiding behind the sofa pretending she's not in Grin

TequilaMockingbirdy · 05/05/2014 19:54

Muahahah I will RELISH the day! I can see it now.. bit of Katy Perry LAST FRIDAY NIGHTTT blasting out.. although I'm more of an oldschool metal head Wink

SirChenjin · 05/05/2014 19:58

Oh god - Katy Perry and she'll never speak to you again Grin

Just out of interest, you young whippersnapper - what do you call old school metal?!

TequilaMockingbirdy · 05/05/2014 20:03

Old school metal to me is Led Zep, Black Sabbath, Metallica etc.

I grew up listening to it thanks to MotherMockingbird and I loveeee it but everyone calls me 'oldschool'

SirChenjin · 05/05/2014 20:06

Then that's OK - if you had said Limp Bizkit or something I'd have been narrowing my eyes at you Grin

TequilaMockingbirdy · 05/05/2014 20:07

Oh dear god hahaha

C'mon sir Keep rollin' rollin' rollin'

MinesAPintOfTea · 05/05/2014 20:12

Feather I thought that MrsMoreton's post illustrated nicely why there is a group of people with little sympathy for impatient drivers. Because even though your dh was driving safely its discussions which reinforce the idea of slow rural vehicles as obstacles that contribute to a lack of consideration and ultimately RTAs.

Its just something that has to be coped with on windy rural roads. Yes ideally they will pull over when its safe to do so, bit unless you want them to go even slower looking for a layby you'll have to wait until they are confident there's a safe spot.

Original poster
Featherbag · 05/05/2014 20:13

I'm trying to give the DS's a good grounding in 'proper' metal, it seems to be working so far in that putting Led Zep on gets an 'I'm dancing mammy' from the 2yo in the back. Nothing from DS2 so far but he is only 5mo so maybe I'm expecting a bit much? Give him another few weeks maybe?

OP posts:
Original poster
Featherbag · 05/05/2014 20:14

MinesaPint you're right, I know it's something to be coped with and we did! In fact, the only thing I did to express my frustration was start a thread on MN...

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 05/05/2014 20:21

No-one needs to go slower looking for a lay-by - don't be silly. Drivers who refuse to move in to allow faster traffic to move past are hugely annoying and selfish. The OP was only expressing the frustration felt by many other drivers by this type of driving - but again, like many of us she did nothing to cause an accident, but instead sat in the line of traffic, driving safely.

MinesAPintOfTea · 06/05/2014 07:43

Sir not to look for a layby but to be confident of being able to safely move in to one in a large vehicle when one appears without much notice. As I said though, I drive a (large) campervan so its more 50mph on a NSL road with more freedom to bounce it a bit if I need to. I would imagine a loaded horsebox makes everything more difficult

I was also considering the "othering" of cyclists that eventually leads to some drivers feeling able to deliberately knock them down. The same can apply to any vulnerable road users, including horse boxes. That the frustration was made public to a popular forum does rather open it up to being challenged.

In spite of the campervan and bike I do most of my road miles in a car, and live fairly rurally so know what its like to be behind a large slow vehicle.

Lj8893 · 06/05/2014 08:26

God there has been some right aggressive posts on this thread!

I understood what the op was saying, and the frustration of it, although she was trying to be light-hearted hence the "dad-racer" comment which was clearly a jokey term.

Some people have come on here and explained politely why the horsebox may not have pulled over which is fine, there were certainly reasons I hadn't considered before.

But some people have been really unnecessarily rude to the op!!! And then been all offended when the op has been rude back to them......don't give it if you can't take it!