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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it wouldn't kill them to pull over once in a while?

310 replies

Featherbag · 03/05/2014 15:08

We're driving through County Durham, it's a beautiful day and were heading to a lovely village for afternoon tea and ice cream for the toddler. We're on a National Speed Limit road, single lane, stuck behind a horse box doing 23mph. There are 8 cars in front of us also stuck behind it, and I can't see the back of the queue. It's been like this for almost half an hour - AIBU to think it would be polite of the horse box driver to pull the fuck over every now and then to let the queue pass?!

OP posts:

Aspiringhuman · 04/05/2014 11:34

I don't think your husband should have been able to speed but I completely get your frustration. I once got stuck behind a tractor going at 20mph for 65 miles (yes I counted them). It was my last 65 miles of a 350 mile journey and I felt like crying. He passed 9 suitable places to let people past. I'm used to country roads, I grew up here and learned to drive here but I was so annoyed at having over an hour added to my journey unnecessarily.

newfavouritething · 04/05/2014 18:18

Aspiring where on earth were you? How could you drive at 20mph for over 3 hours (assuming you really did travel 65 miles) and pass only 9 suitable passing places?

Aspiringhuman · 04/05/2014 19:10

Rural Scotland, newfavourite. It wasn't a single track road. Just one with significant sections that were windy and undulating and the bad luck for there always be something coming the other way at the straighter bits. The traffic was busy that night and I was about the 6th in the queue and had to wait til the 5 cars in front of me could pass.

SoFetch · 04/05/2014 19:16

It's not really "tough luck" if OP doesn't want to be stuck behind a horse box for miles as other posters have suggested though, is it? Someone has already cited the highway code. If you are obstructing traffic then you are required to pull over when suitable. It sounds to me that there were plenty of places for the driver to pull over. They were just being nobs.

Pasithea · 04/05/2014 19:19

Depending on what you are carrying it may not be suitable. Or what ground is like. I would never pull over if it put my animals at risk.

ComposHat · 04/05/2014 21:35

I suggest if anyone needs to see a GP it is your husband op who is clearly using his car ... sorry dad racer, as a compensatory device for penile inadequacy or staving off a mid life crisis.

Summerbreezing · 04/05/2014 21:57

YANBU. I can't stand drivers who are always in a hurry, driving up people's arses, revving up at red lights etc. But drivers who just meander down the road obilvious or uncaring of the traffic building up behind them and just don't bother to pull over now and again are equally annoying.

OwlCapone · 04/05/2014 22:05

who is clearly using his car ... sorry dad racer, as a compensatory device for penile inadequacy or staving off a mid life crisis.

Gosh! and you can tell all that from a throwaway remark by someone without having met the person concerned?! Wow you must be really perceptive.

Or just prone to making dumb generalisations.

OwlCapone · 04/05/2014 22:06

The horse box driver may well have as much right to use the roads as everyone else. However, they are required to move over if they are causing a queue.

SirChenjin · 04/05/2014 22:08

YANBU - this winds me up no end. I am regularly stuck behind the '40 mph regardless of the speed limit, me' type driver on my way to work, despite there being plenty of places to pull in.

If you're not capable (for whatever reason) of driving at the speed limit then pull the fuck over and let the line of traffic that has built up behind you past

TequilaMockingbirdy · 04/05/2014 22:08

it is your husband op who is clearly using his car ... sorry dad racer, as a compensatory device for penile inadequacy or staving off a mid life crisis

Can I have the lotterly numbers lav?

HolidayCriminal · 04/05/2014 22:10

In france it is the law that a slow moving vehicle must pull in if more than 5 vehicles behind it

Same in California, although I think the rule might be 4 vehicles.

ComposHat · 04/05/2014 22:11

Or owl prone to making slightly tongue in cheek comments. But I maintain that someone who calls their car a 'dad racer' is probably a bit of a prat.

BuggersMuddle · 04/05/2014 22:19

It does rather depend on the options, but if safe, long enough lay-bys then yanbu.

I'm a cyclist and often go along quiet country roads. Tractors and horse boxes tend to be quite civilised when I'm faster than them downhill and in return if they catch me I will try to pull over. Having said that I was unimpressed with people who saw me coming in a single track road I was coming up a 10% brae and the traffic decided to come down regardless in their dad racer I drive but being shoved off the road next to a cliff (where I had difficulty getting back on because of the gradient, as any cyclist would recognise) because a car driver thought I was not a road user. and would't wait the 30secs for me to reach the passing place..well, I am suddenly a lot more tolerant of tractors.

Cars, cyclists, even horse riders. There are a lot of selfish arseholes out there. Even as a driver, motorcycles and cyclist though, I recognise I'm most likely to cause damage to others in my turbo diesel...doesn't stop me being pissed off when people act like arseholes.

I wonder if generic road safety should get more attention later in schools (secondary / senior). We all used to get it as little kids, but what taught me to be a safe driver, motorcyclist and cyclist, was my training, my parents, additional reading I sought and additional training I sought (for motorbike).

Original poster

Featherbag · 04/05/2014 22:26

ComposHat thank you! you've just given me the first good belly laugh I've had today! I've just sprayed wine all over the screen!

OP posts:

ComposHat · 04/05/2014 22:36

In the spirit of the op's husband shall henceforth refer to my car as 'the streetprowler' if that doesn't sound too curbcrawlery.

I'm off to get some milk in the streetprowler. The streetprowler needs some new spark plugs. etc.

5OBalesofHay · 04/05/2014 22:39

I guess they were being inconsiderate to be transporting horses in the way they found safest. You probably know better than them though, and the desire to drive fast through the countryside trumps other considerations.

PoshPenny · 04/05/2014 22:46

I don't understand why it wasn't possible for any of the cars ahead of you in the queue to overtake the trailer if it was only going at 23mph?

maybe like your DH in his Dad racer, it was the trailer drivers first time towing with a load on board? I remember when I first started towing the horse trailer, I had to really Make a huge effort to keep above 20mph.

ComposHat · 04/05/2014 22:49

It is the horses I feel sorry for. Going in a horsebox must be like being on a massive, scarily fast skate board. If I were compo the horse, id be crapping myself literally and figuratively.

5OBalesofHay · 04/05/2014 23:02

They are fine, compose, as long as you take it steady, are considerate of them, and don't drive a dad racer.

Sparklingbrook · 04/05/2014 23:14

I used to drive 6 miles down country roads to school. A local farmer was very often driving on them too. He would see a tailback building up and pull in to let us all past. He did this often-I thought it was lovely of him.

Stop with the comments about 'Dad Racer'. it was a tongue in cheek comment by the OP.

ComposHat · 04/05/2014 23:16

Tsk 50 you don't drive a dad racer, you handle it.

TequilaMockingbirdy · 04/05/2014 23:18

My stepdad's a dad racer.

he recently got a convertable.

I was sooo embarrassed when he parked outside my apartment with the music blasting. All the place could hear 'The Safety Dance' followed by 'Ice Ice baby'.

Sparklingbrook · 04/05/2014 23:19

I think that's a midlife crisis car Tequila.

Twattyzombiebollocks · 04/05/2014 23:23

Anyone who has travelled horses will know that making sudden changes in speed can at best unsettle a horse, or in the case of sharp braking they can even fall over and cause horrific injuries. If I'm honest, when I've been transporting my horse, I'm not so much worrying about the queue of traffic behind me, I'm worrying about upsetting the horse as little as possible, anticipating any danger as far in advance as possible so as not to have to brake suddenly, also worrying about not bloody hitting anything (driving a 7,5 tonne lorry when you are used to a car is a bit of a change) and also making sure I'm in the right gear etc. pulling over to let traffic past is something I probably should do, but realistically it ain't high on my list of priorities. Whilst technically i do feel that people shouldn't have to wait for me, I also feel that I'm responsible for my Fragile and vulnerable passengers in the back and their welfare for me comes before other people having to wait a bit longer. If the road really was twisty and windy realistically how fast do you think you can safely go? ( clearly more than 25mph but how much faster?)

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