Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To let a 6yo go to the shop with friends?

70 replies

Dramatic · 02/05/2014 22:04

Would you or have you? My dd has been playing out in the street for a couple of years and her two friends who are a year older than her regularly go to the shop (which is about a 2 minute walk away) and she has been begging me to go with them. It's across two reasonably quiet roads (although one is a bus route) and she is very mature and sensible for her age. Am I being stupid by letting her go?

OP posts:

PrincessBabyCat · 03/05/2014 06:30

Around my area, little girls would disappear if there were no adults. It's not even safe for adult women to be walking alone.

But that said, if you live in a nice area, the real question is how well behaved is she that she can be in a store unattended? If I were a shop keeper, I'd be a bit put off that I had to keep an eye on three 7 year olds roaming my store with not parental supervision.

Busymumto3dc · 03/05/2014 06:35

I wouldn't let my six year old go anywhere without an adult

scrappydappydoo · 03/05/2014 08:21

Well I wouldn't but i have to ask why does she need to go to the shop? Even if my 6yr old could cross the street on her own she couldn't deal with money to buy things.

Original poster

Dramatic · 03/05/2014 08:24

To describe my area a little better, it's a small, tight knit council estate right on the very edge of a rreasonably small town. It's the type of place where everyone knows everyone and looks out for everyone. The road is only a bus route because it's the bus through the estate, it's not a road you drive down to get anywhere else so is very quiet most of the time. Tbh I think I will probably wait another year or so until she's around 8. It's nice to get other perspective on the situation though. (Also cringed at the Sarah Payne comment, horrible)

OP posts:

PicardyThird · 03/05/2014 08:26

I would and have let my 6.7yo go with his nearly 9yo brother to a shop very close by, but I wouldn't if it involved crossing proper roads. And I wouldn't let him go with 7yo friends.

MissDuke · 03/05/2014 08:34

It really is impossible for anyone else to decide this for you op. My 9 year old would not do this - but to be fair she wouldn't want to (she has SN). I know of a 10 year old here who has a fair bit of independence but all the other children who play out don't leave our street. I don't let my 5 year old out of the garden unless with my 9 nine year old, and even then he doesn't get to go more than a few houses up. We live in quite a large development and ours is the road in/out so can be fairly busy. Traffic is my concern, I don't see paedophiles on every corner, but I do see cars driving too fast for a residential street several times a day.

SoFetch · 03/05/2014 08:39

I don't understand why there are so many sarky responses on here. Personally I wouldn't let me DD go to the shop at 5, because where we live isn't particularly safe and we live on a bend which cars often speed around. I can imagine other places in the UK which would be perfectly safe for a quick 2 minute walk to the shop. Especially as OPs DC has been playing outside alone for a while.

jasminemai · 03/05/2014 08:44

Its commonplace on my road. Some of the 5/6 year olds are out fod large portions of day on their own in summer months.

FamiliesShareGerms · 03/05/2014 08:57

It's the making 7yo responsible for a 6yo that is particularly not on in this situation, I think.

DS is 8yo and we let him do things like go round the corner to his friends on his own when they know he's coming and say when he's got there ok, or get the shopping on his own at the corner shop while I stand by the door. Small steps towards independence, but he was nowhere near ready at 6yo.

Mind you, my dad was out all day playing on bomb sites when he was six...

jasminemai · 03/05/2014 09:02

I let dd aged 6 walk back from after school club alone. Im also walking back with dc2 but behind and out of sight. She knows not to go if there are cars coming in either direction or she can hear any cars, she looks both ways, knows not to cross near parked cars/vans or on bends. Its first steps to indepence imo and next year at 7 she can go to the park with her friends on her own.

NobodyLivesHere · 03/05/2014 09:04

My 6 year old goes to the shop by herself. She has to cross the road but you can see the shop from my house. I'm comfortable with it. I don't really care what others think.

DogCalledRudis · 03/05/2014 09:19

I did send mine then 6yo to a very local shop or kebab shop to get one or two items. But just to hang around with friends no way. Even the shop itself says no more than 2 children at the time.

RuddyDuck · 03/05/2014 09:29

Totally depends on the child and on the local area. There's no right or wrong imo.

My ds1 didn't go to the local shop when he was 7 because we lived in a village where there was a very dangerous layout of roads in the centre. We moved when he was 8, and I immediately allowed him to go to the local shop, despite there being no pavements, because the roads are tiny and easy to cross. Both our dc were allowed to play out in the street when they were small because we lived at the end of a cul de sac and all the childen played out from about 4 years upwards.

Ds2 was also allowed to go to local park from the age of 8 as long as he was with friends. Ds1 was never that interested in doing so. Ds2 also was catching bus with friends into nearby city to go shopping from the age of 10. Again, Ds1 not interested and actually wouldn't have been confident enough to do so at 10, think he was about 12 when he first did it.

Your child, your area, your judgement.

HappyMummyOfOne · 03/05/2014 10:10

I live in a very quiet area but when DS was six he didnt go anywhere without an adult. If he played outside, then he was watched by one of us.

Some parents are very lax and some over protective but six seems way to young to be out and about alone.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 03/05/2014 10:13

I would probably wait until 9 or 10 at least.

bigTillyMint · 03/05/2014 10:18

Back in the dark ages, I was walking to the shops/to school on my own/with friends and riding my friends bike (DM wouldn't let me have one) around the streets willy-nilly at 6.

25 years ago I was teaching a 6 year old who was astonishingly good at mental maths money problems - turns out she regularly did the shopping for her mum.

8 years ago I wouldn't let DD go to the shops aged 6.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 03/05/2014 10:19

I can remember being out and about all day with ny friend aged 9..but not sure when we started it.

TinCanSally · 03/05/2014 10:25

DCs school had a road safety awareness day and the police office who came in said that children's spacial awareness and their ability to judge distance and speed of cars develops around the age of 7 and that before that age children shouldn't cross roads by themselves. I think traffic, even on quiet roads, is your biggest issue but that aside there is no way I would let my DCs go to the shops aged 6.

nokidshere · 03/05/2014 10:39

There are a few reasons I wouldn't let a child of 6 go to a shop alone and the least of the worries is abductuon!

Children are unpredictable. All children. Having road sense (which I don't believe they have) does not make up for unpredictability. They are easily distracted. It is unfair to make another child responsible for yours. They wouldn't know or remember how to react to a bullying incident, or a petty squabble breaking out between them. All reasons for not letting them go.

My very sensible, road safe 8 year old got knocked down by a car on his way to school. Very safe area, very minor road. Thankfully only minor damage.

Nanny0gg · 03/05/2014 11:02

Guidance seems to have changed - it's down to parental decision now.

I just remember when the Road Safety people used to come to school they would say that under-7s weren't capable of accurately judging speed and distance of oncoming vehicles.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread