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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let a 6yo go to the shop with friends?

70 replies

Dramatic · 02/05/2014 22:04

Would you or have you? My dd has been playing out in the street for a couple of years and her two friends who are a year older than her regularly go to the shop (which is about a 2 minute walk away) and she has been begging me to go with them. It's across two reasonably quiet roads (although one is a bus route) and she is very mature and sensible for her age. Am I being stupid by letting her go?

OP posts:
Gurnie · 02/05/2014 23:30

Too young. I am quite relaxed about things like that but 6 is very young to.be out on.her own imho.

Pleasejustgo · 02/05/2014 23:30

That's a very serious point you've just raised there. How old should they be trained to do that.

Please note here, I've a preteen year old who has just learned how to butter a piece of bread (she wanted a medal too). Actually slight exaggeration but not far off, this new feat would involve glass...I think this is probably more suited to the toddler, she's much more helpful as a rule

MexicanSpringtime · 02/05/2014 23:33

Mmm, I let my daughter cross quiet roads when she was six or seven, but she was very sensible and risk averse. She went the shops with friends when she was five, but didn't have any roads to cross.

AgentZigzag · 02/05/2014 23:36

I thought they weren't able to judge the speeds of oncoming traffic before they were 10 YO.

I think I got that from MN so it must be true?

Wolfiefan · 02/05/2014 23:39

Roads?
What about other risks?

manicinsomniac · 02/05/2014 23:43

My just turned 7 year old has been going to the village shop with her 11 year old sister for the past year and a half or so. It's about a 3 minute walk across one road. She can also play outside on her bike, in the woods and fields and in the park out of the back of our house as long as she is with her sister or in a group of friends that includes children aged 10 or up. Everyone does in our village.

Original poster
Dramatic · 02/05/2014 23:44

Pleasejustgo, preteen gets sent to the shop, toddler serves you the gin, perfect combo.

10yo just seems so late though, I mean at 11 they are expected to get themselves to and from school and I'm sure I was allowed into town at 10 (I mean shopping rather than clubbing, that was more like 12 and a half).

OP posts:
SugarMouse1 · 02/05/2014 23:47

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Original poster
Dramatic · 02/05/2014 23:47

What other risks exactly? I kmow she wouldn't get lost. If she is in a group of three I expect falling or hurting herself wouldn't cause much drama (one of them would come and get me) I suppose there's always the abducter on every corner scenario but then is that any less likely to happen to an 8 or 9yo?

OP posts:
Louise1956 · 02/05/2014 23:48

I wouldn't personally feel easy leaving them to cross the road on their own at that age. They have very little road sense then We used to live 2 minutes walk away from a local shop, with one road to cross, but I think 10, or maybe 9, was the earliest age my son went there on his own.

Thetallesttower · 02/05/2014 23:52

I think the main risk is the traffic. Round here people often drive fast on an estate full of children and older people crossing and people with buggies. I hate it. If it wasn't for traffic, I would feel much more secure letting mine out further afield.

In terms of going to the shops, I let my 9 year old start going alone, it's about 5/6 min walk, no roads except an entrance to a cul de sac. I will be letting my other dd do the same when she's 9, I feel 8 is a bit young for her to be going in a shop, managing money, carrying the stuff home and so on. They walked together a small distance to the school, again with no road crossing at 6 and 8 (I mean about 200 yards) as a practice- now aged 8 and 10 they walk to school together with one crossing with a patrol.

AgentZigzag · 02/05/2014 23:55

'The bloody Sarah Payne case started it all off.'

Maybe a slight of a lack of compassion there? I'm sure she wasn't really up for being murdered in such a painful and distressing way.

It's not about paranoia, it's about being realistic when deciding whether your DC will know that a man in a car saying to hop in and show them the way to the shop is not doing it because they want to know the way to the shop.

Of course you can do what you want Dramatic, she's your DD, we can only say what we'd do with our children.

Thetallesttower · 02/05/2014 23:58

I am not worried about stranger danger or anything like that- I'm more worried that my 8 year old is still easily distractable and if she was crossing the road with her friends and they were showing her some cuddly toy, she would be paying attention to them and not to the traffic.

My 10 year old is much better at roads, she seems to have internalised the need to stop even when with friends and crosses much more safely. This might be dependent on the child though and not just an age thing, though I still think 6 is really young to be crossing two roads and out with two seven year olds. There are children that young out near mine though.

Pleasejustgo · 03/05/2014 00:03

I vaguely remember taking myself to my friends house a few houses away when about 8/9. I'd ride my bike all over the place too, however I'd never trust preteen to go bike riding alone.

Preteen does however walk home from school which is across the road. I still now won't let her go to the shops alone. Nothing to do with drivers and cyclists flying through zebra crossings either.

At 6 I wouldn't let her go anywhere but we live in central London and she is as streetwise as a pom pom. (Also PFB - so I've probably stifled/suffocated her to the point of (her) despair)

I think the points to worry about are traffic and risk of the unmentionable happening. Personally, I'd just keep them pouring gin, with a hint of citrusy freshness until they're a little older.

badgerknowsbest · 03/05/2014 00:05

Sugar mouse, what a lovely way you have with language. However, your lack of empathy is fucking astonishing.

Pleasejustgo · 03/05/2014 00:06

Yes, I'm jumping on the band wagon at the Sarah Payne comment.
Jaysus.
Must be the wines. Well hope so anyway.

AgentZigzag · 03/05/2014 00:09

Nobody with children could say that about Sarah Payne.

It's worst case scenario.

BurdenedWithGloriousPurpose · 03/05/2014 00:09

I let my 6 year old go to the shop with my 9 year old. They do have a road to cross but it's a quiet street and I can watch them the whole time. I can see the shop door from my window/doorstep. And if need be bellow WATCH FOR CARS and they'd hear me.

Across 2 roads, 1 busy with buses I'd not let him go.

cafecito · 03/05/2014 00:10

No no no

Janethegirl · 03/05/2014 00:25

It depends on the distance to the shop and how many roads they need to cross. My dcs could walk to the local shop without crossing any roads, so was ok from around 5 years old.

Caitlin17 · 03/05/2014 00:26

My son did that at 7. We're in a very nice part of Edinburgh. Depending on which house he and his friends set out from and which shop there might have been no roads to cross or 2 but neither were busy.

turgiday · 03/05/2014 02:32

I think the issue is traffic. If there was a pedestrian crossing and you knew your child would only go when the green man came on, then fine. Or if it was a road where you wait for the 1 car to go past before you cross, fine.

Gennz · 03/05/2014 02:50

We all used to walk to school/shops aged 6 when I was a kid. Have roads got so much more dangerous since the mid 80's?

chrome100 · 03/05/2014 05:24

I think it's fine. It's two minutes on quiet roads.

RedFocus · 03/05/2014 06:24

Not a fucking chance personally! I prefer my dc's safe & sound if it's all the same to you.

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