AIBU - ive just been told off by DD's teacher.

[Needsmorecake]

DD is 8.5 on a thursday, when i collect her, she walks round to the front of the school and waits outside the school office ( which is glass). Sometimes i get there in time, sometimes im a minute or two late, I finish work at 3 and it just depends on if there is much traffic or any parking spaces.

We have been doing this since september 2013.

DD wasnt there today, so i waited, then she came round with her teacher. I was told they are not meant to let them go, unless there is a parent. I did say that other parents wait at the gate ( which they do) and some children even walk to and from school themselves, certainly in the higher years. She said since its school liability they cant let them go.... even though DD is still on school property when i meet her.

Then she said its because she cares and would worry about DD, so now i feel like she was saying i dont care for my DD, which, of course i do.

DD is sensible, she feels happy to walk out of the playground and wait round in front of the office, which is the way she would have to walk out with me.

So, AIBU to think the school are being a bit silly?

she doesnt usually go into the office she usually waits just outside. lots of chilren in her year meet their parents outside the school gates.

if its just that ill get DD to meet me outside the gates.

Some people on this thread are being pretty nasty about OPs "persistent lateness".
She gets there around the same time dd gets out. I wouldn't pay an hour of after school club , or ask favours of other parents for 2 flippin minutes of "late" time.
I think you need to write a letter to the school explaining where you want your daughter to wait for you and why. That way, you have given your consent.

Y3 have to go directly to an adult the teacher has seen in our school.

Safeguarding doesn't mean they will call Social services. It just means keeping children safe!

lots of children her age walk to and from by themselves

I think this is irrelevant. Your DD is still on school property and thus the responsibility of the school yet no one is physically in charge of her. From a "rules" point of view this is probably unacceptable.

If other children from your dd's class/year do walk home unaccompanied, then you need to find out if parents are supposed to notify the school if they want their dc to do this. The fact that the teacher felt the need to come to talk to you, suggests to me that there is some box that hasn't been properly ticked.

At that age, I would be surprised if the school didn't want to know which children were walking home on their own - because if little Jimmy tells his teacher he's allowed to walk home alone, and bogs off to the park, and his mum is running round in a panic because she's said nothing of the sort, and has turned up to collect him only to find him gone, there would be all hell to pay at the school.

The teacher needs to know that Andy, Beth, Chris, Damien and Edith walk home alone, but all the rest are picked up by a parent or carer, so that, if little Jimmy does they his luck with that lie, they know not to believe him.

I would write to the HT and ask for formal clarification on this, and explain your issues.
At my DCs primary some children walk home from year 3, lots wait for parents to drive by or walk to parked cars. Any children not picked up within 10 minutes are rounded up to wait in school/phone calls to be made.

Actually - ignore that - I have had a lightbulb moment - my brain is full of porridge and I feel,like I have been hit round the head with a spade - but I should have stopped to work out what year your dd is in.

I assume she is in year 4 - and at that age, all my dses were just tipped out into the playground, to either come to find us, or to walk home, and we certainly didn't have to let the school know when we had decided to let them walk home alone. The teachers did escort the classes to the door, but only to ensure that there weren't huge pile ups in the narrow corridors/staircases (it was an old school) - they didn't stop to see if every child was met by a parent.

So, on balance, and based only on my experience, you aren't being unreasonable to do it this way.

Shes in year 3.

Until this week they did just let them all come out, no teacher in sight. This week they havent been.

If they haven't informed you about a change in policy, they are being unreasonable to object now.

This sounds daft. Our school just lets them all out into the playground from Y3 onwards. Some of the kids walk themselves to and from school. Especially if she is 8.5! My ds is not 8 until August (also Y3) and I would be perfectly happy with that kind of arrangement for him.

I would ask about a change of policy then. They can't have a go at you for something you didn't know about!

Although if they have just started this maybe there has been an incident that precipitated it...

Ive just checked the schools website, and there are no policies on any kind mentioning anything about the age where children can get to and from school by themselves, or, what age they have to hand children to parents etc.