WE KNOW WE'RE UNREASONABLE BUT...

[TequilaMockingbirdy]

what things really really annoy you, but for no reason? Like you know it's unreasonable but you still get annoyed.

DP switching the router off at the wall pisses me off no end.

^^ Somone did this to me this morning. There were about 8 empty double seats available yet she plonked herself down next to me. I'd like to think it was my magnetic charisma but somehow doubt it.

Something that really annoys me is constant stirring of the contents of a mug. A woman I work with has a cup-a-soup every day and stirs it continually inbetween slurps. Stir, clank, stir, clank...slurp...stir, clank, stir, clank...slurp..and repeat until UnderIce stabs her in the face...

pepinagiro that would certainly be my interpretation. It's a chain too, which somehow makes it worse as surely they should have someone who proofreads these things?

People yawning makes me want to kill them, especially if they make a noise and/or talk while yawning. Often they say -through the yawn - "Oh dear" or "So tired" but if they go so far as to use the word "sleepy" my rage goes off the scale! I really think they deserve to die a painful death. Even a photo of someone yawning makes me furious, but actually being near someone yawning is just too vile and anger-inducing for words.

Is that unreasonable enough for you?

People who try multiple methods to contact me when the first doesn't work for non-emergency reasons. E.g. Try the house phone, it's engaged so pop up on FB messenger, then when I don't answer that, ring my mobile 5 bloody times I live in a 2 person household. Chances are if the phone's engaged, it's me who's on it. This chance is particularly high if you are the other adult phoning mutiple times to find out if I'd prefer asparagus or broccoli

People in shops / queues / generally who assume because they're not in a hurry, no other bugger is either.

Customer 'service' staff who natter among themselves while putting your goods through, without so much as making eye contact. It's rude

Ooo oooo I thought of another one! People who don't have/can't use a mobile. Especially if they act like it's some real point of pride being incapable of using one (yes, you again DGM). The bloody worst are the ones who turn it on once a day for a minute or two 'to check for messages' or to make a call, then turn it off again 'to save the battery'. Like it can't be, I don't know, recharged or something? Yes, MIL. I mean you.

Oh yes yawners. Yawning is fine but DO NOT perform an extended yawn whilst out in public without covering your mouth. Especially if I'm sitting opposite you on public transport.

Grrrrrr.

peppinagiro I haven't got a mobile. I don't need one. Why is that a problem for you?

I can't stand it when people say "Snack" or even worse "Snacking ON"

"She was snacking on some nuts."

NO!!! She was bloody eating some nuts!

The words 'moist' and 'succulent' make me shudder - the latter should be restricted to botanical use only. I've only ever heard 'succulent' used in advertising where it drips so much insincerity it practically glues itself to your mouth when you read it out. Uuuurgh...

Well it's not really a problem, gruntfuttock, because I don't really need to call you :)

I hate it for the following reasons:

1. I don't have time to talk on the phone. Usually I do all my organising and arranging and discussing with people by text, whenever I get a spare moment while my baby's asleep on me or when out and about. So if I'm forced to actually call someone, because they can't text, it'll go on my list of chores and take days for me to get round to it.

2. People with no mobile insist on calling my landline. I never use it, and never check it for messages, and then they get uppity because I have no idea they've called. Much better if they call my mobile so I have a missed call i can see.

3. it's an absolute pain trying to get hold of someone if plans change/you can't find them/whatever if they have no mobile. And everyone always says 'oh well you just have to make plans and stick to them' - but that just doesn't always work in a world with traffic, babies suddenly getting ill, cars not starting, etc etc...and I remember the days before mobiles - there were a lot of wasted journeys and hanging about waiting like a lemon. Anyway, it's a moot point as I don't make plans with people who don't have mobiles :-D

My mil calling me fat when I'm pregnant. I'm not actually fat at all.

peppinagiro Well, I can't see why someone who only has a landline can't call your mobile no, if that's what you prefer. I'm at home 99.9% of the time, so calling my landline is fine and I have an answering machine for the times when I'm out or unable to get to the phone. I can use a mobile and text on it because I borrowed one 10 years ago when I had a short holiday and needed to be able to contact a friend who lived in that area to arrange to meet them a few times. I haven't needed one since tho'.

Adults who can't drive (unless they have a health reason or a disability) and are constantly sat in the back of other family members' or friends' cars being transported around the place.

Back-seat drivers especially if they can't drive themselves.

Voicemail.

My husband's singing

High-fucking-fives. These days I just say "I don't do high fives," through my cat's bum mouth.

People who insist on saying the word "restaurant" in a french accent. Really, really irritates me so much I could scream.

People invading my personal space. In queues for example. Or when giving hugs. If I don't know you why would I want to hug you?

People who get really excited about going to weddings (apart from their own) and go on and on about how they've bought a dress and they're going out on Saturday to find matching shoes and they've booked a spray tan for Thursday evening and on and on and on.

Oh, and people who book their Summer holiday on Boxing Day.

I'm a calm, non-confrontational, quiet person. However...

My lovely Aunt (in her 70's) gets her hair blow dried every fortnight. Pisses me right off! I don't know why, I don't have take her there or anything, just the knowledge makes me irrationally pee'd off. Yes, I'm odd. She recently had to find a new hairdresser because her old one closed down, prompting approx. 6 minutes of conversation about it over two occasions. Oh, the boiling raaaage!

DH loudly slurps water then mouthwash while cleaning his teeth. It's louder than you would've thought possible. It took me about six months after we started having, er, sleepovers, to work out what his mouthwash slurping noise actual was. Actually, I don't think my annoyance is really that unreasonable.

Polystyrene. It's existence. The noise makes my blood run cold, but I'm getting annoyed now knowing that I'm sharing the planet with the godawful substance.

There's more... Maybe I'm not as calm and gentle-natured as I thought

Loud sneezes that are so far from a genuine sneeze. A Wah-Hooooooooo is NOT a sneeze.

DP walking round the house persistently clicking his fingers/clicking a pen top/gnawing his nails down to the elbow.

Actually, DP sometimes.

People who walk in front of me and then stop dead. For no reason.

People who walk so close up behind me that they're virtually wearing my knickers and who then protest if you decide to turn left and go into a shop as they then walk into you.

People in supermarkets who walk up to the conveyor where my stuff is, I put the divider on, and they then push the divider forward moving my food just so they can squeeze all their shopping on at once. It actually does move on...

My dentist's receptionist calling me by my full name. I registered under (abbreviated, much preferred version) and she asked if it was short for anything, so I said, yes, "it's short for eenymeenymineymo* but please call me eeny" and so she without fail only calls me eenymeenymineymo.

If she can't call me eeny, then lets be more formal and go with Mrs Revenge rather than my full name! I've had a lot of dental treatment this last couple of months and more to come (recommend never eating toffees) and it's really getting on my nerves! How difficult is it?

*name isn't actually that, btw

I thought it had a nice ring to it Revenge

Colleague opposite me eating crisps, sucking on all of her fingers after each one