To think this is a little rude

[mumaa]

Colleague had baby 3 months ago, many have sent gifts and well wishes, as well as messages asking how they both are, as you would. This week I received a blanket email which was sent to a number of her colleagues and some members of her family and friends "by way of an update as everyone has been asking".

I could understand if it was a blanket "work" email to update everyone at once but to include some friends and family just seems weird, a number of people have commented that they have sent messages asking how they are with no response, myself included. Its really not that difficult to reply to thank people for asking after them and give a response, there aren't SO MANY requests after her wellbeing (god forbid) that it is SO difficult you must send just one email... just me or is this a bit strange?

rookiemater I remember it very well thank you, I managed to respond to people in a lesser time period than 3 months. Bossom buddies, no, but friends, I thought so.

rookie cross post again! oops

Not everyone's the same though mumma I was out and about and happy within days of DS
But as I said before my best friend took a year to get back to 'herself' I found it difficult to understand her ways and attitude at times but try to not take any of it personally. It effects people in different ways

Just because you managed doesn't mean she will.

And facebook is very much easier to use for messages etc. In fact I use it to message one of my brothers as he is terrible at replying to texts.

YABU

she told you how she is. stop with the expectations

It took me nearly a month to update FB when my son was born - I couldn't sit down so using my laptop was nearly impossible as I either had to stand or lie down, and I just didn't have the time or the energy to do much beyond the absolute essentials.

I think sending an email to work colleagues which includes her family is quite sweet - it suggests that she thinks of you in the same league, which is either offensive to her family or complimentary to you, depending on how you view it.

Thank God my friends aren't as needy as the OP!

I know how you feel but I think it can be forgiven with a new baby. FB is very easy to update, easier then writing numerous individual cards/emails when exhausted with lack of sleep.

The baby is three months old, not three weeks.

Just saying...

Okay, it's a shame that you're feeling hurt. Don't be embarrassed though. I still think three months is no time at all with a new baby, hopefully given time she'll emerge from the fug and you will see more of her.

Try not to take it personally eh .

I don't think it's particularly needy to want to hope for a text from a friend in 3 months when you are aware that they have been in touch with others. Totally agree that fbook is a great way to communicate with lots of people at once and having a baby can be incredibly discombobulating (love that word) but even so. It's not outrageous to expect some response and if you don't get one to feel a bit sad about it.

I think probably she's just fed up of writing the same thing out over and over again to multiple people so saved herself the trouble with a blanket email. I wouldn't have given it a second thought.

Ogg

so?

from feeding problems to recovering from birth to mastitis and having a colicky baby etc there are many reasons why someone will choose to put themselves first and just try and survive.

if you have kids it shouldn't be hard to understand.

I hate fucking expectations and people getting critical/miffed off about when and what others do after having a baby

and I'm glad the mum in question does what's best for her (by the look of it) instead of jumping to please the crowd

I think you should stop expecting her to be in touch, it is harder than you think when you've had a baby. I expected to be the same as I always was but after a difficult birth and a serious illness I wasn't at all.

My relationship with work colleagues isn't the same as it was before I went on maternity leave, I didn't really stay in touch with them because I couldn't face it. I couldn't face anyone really apart from my mum. I didn't have PND, I was just knocked for six and I lost my sense of self completely. I felt bad about not getting in touch but I honestly didn't know what to say to them, them I'd worry about what they thought of me. I was like this with everyone and I have no idea why.

A year on I have my confidence back but unfortunately I've damaged a lot of my friendships and I doubt they'll recover. I just wish people were more understanding, I know that having a baby is not an excuse to be rude but some people honestly don't realise that they are.

Give your friend a break, she's trying and that's clear through the fact she bothered to email at all. Be there when she is ready to get back in touch. The world of facebook is very misleading and many people use it to convince others that everything is rosy.

YABU! Please give the poor woman a break! Just because you were up to ensuring your ideal of social etiquette was maintained doesn't mean this poor woman is! She could have anything going on her life as others have mentioned mastitis, PND, or there could be some health issues with the baby.....Or maybe she just doesn't like clingy over bearing people?!!
At the end of the day you are a work colleague and it may have taken every ounce of energy she had that day to send that email, you never know what is going on in in another persons life.

The baby is three months old, not three weeks.

Just saying...

By three months, I was still unable to sit comfortably, and the details of my burst stitches wouldn't have been something I wanted to share with colleagues. I was absolutely astonished at how hard it was to find a comfortable position to use the laptop in, and when I managed a few minutes it was usually to order things we needed online.

She probably could have made more effort, but again - I think a mass email to people who she considers friends is a sign that she thinks they will understand that she cant prioritise emailing them individually.

yabu please don't judge her without knowing circumstances.