To expect people to discipline their dc?

[KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn]

Was at a babygroup recently. A four years old boy (known to be quite forceful) pulled dd of her trike and pushed her to floor and hen it on ot himself. I went over and picked up dd (who is only 1) and his nan exclaimed, "oh he is just trying to tell her its pack away time"
I looked at her and replied, "Yehhhh..." Sarcastically. And stomped off with dd.

Nothing more was said. Another lady came up to me as said the little boy was always very heavy handed with other dc and not told off for it. I am not angry at the boy obviously. My own dd is heavy handed at times and I simply correct her and show her how to play nice , in the hope he will eventually learn gentle means gentle (she getting there !)
Now I know I am maybe bein a lil pfb here, but is no the fact he was rough with dd- it's the fact he is not disciplined and runs around causin mayhem without being corrected.
It is only him, no siblings. I find rhis to be quite common too, little kids being naughty and not getting told off ever. Or even just corrected nicely. It takes one minute and everyone feels better. Dd can be strong willed and grabby, but I try to show her (as much as you can at her age) how to play nice. Why do other parents let their kids push/ kick/ grab all the time.

A number of reason, none of them complimentary

Almost certainly because they are selfish and grasping themselves, and think that's the way their kids need to be.

Play nicely. Nicely.
Sorry.
Anyway, Yanbu.

Some parents are lazy? Once at toddler group a little boy - I guess about 2.5/3ish - got it into his head that he was going to drive a little push along lawn mower toy into my daughter, who at the time would only have been around 15/16 months old. Of course the mum was chatting inside rather than outside watching over her kid (also just him, no siblings with him). I stepped in and dealt with it but it did bother me that the mum wasn't bothering to keep an eye on her son so she could do the parenting herself! I know people have different ideas, and some people don't agree with watching children all the time - but at such a young age when they're prone to doing things that are unpleasant towards other children it's not really that much to ask that a parent stays close by so they can watch and intervene if/when their child is acting out. I know I intend to be supervising DD properly and making sure I'm there to correct here when she does start doing things like that.

And this is yet another reason why grandparents arent always the right person to leave your dc with. Even if they are free.

YANBU. I always tried to correct mine if that happened and in the situation you describe I would have made him get off and give the bike back. Often a parent or person in charge doesn't like being the 'bad guy' who tells a child off, or doesn't want to provoke a tantrum, so they take the easy route and ignore or make excuses.

You need to be more proactive. "Could you take him off the bike please granny and dd will put it away herself, thank you". If she doesn't act then you tell him to get off.

Dont judge all grandparents on this one example, I know plenty of mothers who dont discipline their children.

Play nicely ! (I am educated to degree level, but I cant b a lazy typist when not writing an essay. So shoot me)

I think parents are often even worse than grandparents at disciplining dc. Ime.

I womoukd have been more pro active but i Was too busy trying to tend to dd to suggest anything, she clearly saw (as well as everyone else there) I was very unimpressed with her lame excuse or his bahaviour. After this incident he proceeded to run amock. I just dont get why people are so lazy. How can they not care that their dc will be comin across as a spoiled brat? If be horrified and really upset for my dd if she was a brat.

I have, in similar circumstances, firmly held the vehicle and said "No, DC was on here" loud enough for eveyone to here I was justified and enabled a DC to get back on. I have also done it from the other side, but then I can bodily remove my rude child which is the last thing I would want to do with someone else's.

I looked at her and replied, "Yehhhh..." Sarcastically. And stomped off with dd

You had your chance there to take issue with their child's behaviour and their failure to prevent harm coming to your daughter.

Whether it's parenting or other issues, being passive aggressive simply isn't constructive.

If other people see it, perhaps the baby group organiser could have a word with the mum?

Its really sad when one or two children are allowed to run riot and ruin it for the other DC

Thanks usual! :)

Ok, ok passive aggresive was silly of me in hindsight. I was just a but shocked and will ensure to be more stern next time.

I feel your pain

this happened to us this week there is one little boy who just goes nuts smashing into other children wrenching them off the toys and generally being a pest its awful

I just moved DS and his trike out of the way only for the little so so to come round the table and smash into him again at that point I looked for the mother who was sitting watching saying nothing but the other mums in the group said to leave it alone apparently she is not open to suggestions about her sons behaviour

I know I have my judgey pants on here, and believe me my dd is a handful at 1! I know some kids are livelier than others, but regardless they need corrected in a Constructive manner...

When we arrived the boy ran up to dd and tried to undo her out the pram and I said I would get her out soon and smiled at his man. I couldn't have cared less. He was just be inquisitive - im not some martyr on a mission. But the later incident was not on.

YADNBU.

It's such a shame because it can ruin it for others. Is there anything the playgroup co-ordinators can say to the parent/carer? It is hugely frustrating.

I will mention it to the playgroup co ordinators. They don't seem particularly approachable. Dd ripped a packet of her rice cakes on the floor and I asked for a shovel to brun it up, then she did the same with a random packet of skips On the floor.. I went back and said oh she has done the same with some skips now- and the lady snootily said - 'well this is why we give them healthy snacks here, less mess too'.

Cheeky mare! Dd eats more fruit than any child I know!

Brush *

apparently she is not open to suggestions about her sons behaviour

Wow, even more reason for the group leader to be told and to have a friendly chat thats awful!

Sounds delightful there! Some people are weird aren't they.

Awful experience at a soft play last week, a 10 year old punched and split the lip of a 6 year old. It was awful. The granny was sat the other with her back to the children and was quite awkward when enough adults complained to the staff to ask them to leave. That wasn't the child's only misdemeanour, he was horrid to lots of children.

I'm getting all deep now, but it's parents that don't reprimand or teach their children appropriate behaviours that grow up to be the ones that teachers struggle with, no point in even sending a letter home because the parent won't believe that little Humphrey is in the wrong!

"Some posters on here need disciplining about being rude and correcting other posters spelling mistakes."

I agree, at least you can forgive the child in the OP because he's a child. People here are, I assume (?) adults.

I have met people who excuse that sort of behaviour with a shrug of "typical boy". It saddens me when people have such low expectations of their kids.

I have a friend that lets her son run riot and she has pissed off people because he is very forceful and rather spoilt, so he doesn't play nicely much.

She is a lovely woman, but I do think she is utterly over whelmed with having such a hyper child. Her pfb was a perfect baby. So I do empathise with mothers who feel overwhelmed etc but even so, you stoll gotta discipline - lack of discipline is a form of negelct IMO. Children need stability and boundaries.

My dnephew 3.5 was visiting and tried to launch dd rocking horse through my telly and my SIL did nothing

He hits her in the face and head buts her breasts while she is talking , ignoring him. He also kicked the dog in the face while it was sleeping

I feel so so sorry for him. No boundaries , no discipline nothing.