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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Find This Man's Behaviour And Comments In The Swimming Pool Utterly Bizarre

46 replies

ChelsyHandy · 30/04/2014 13:08

(name changed as embarrassed by it/wondering if I'm a freak).

I'm quite a fast swimmer (swimming club as child, bit of Masters swimming now and again), do front crawl and so at my local swimming pool on Saturday, went in the lane marked "medium". There were two lanes up marked "Fast" full of really fast swimmers whizzing up and down, one "Medium" and the rest of the pool was available for non lane swimming but was a bit busy.

There were two men standing at the end of the medium lane chatting when I got in, so I squeezed in past them and started swimming lengths. Pretty soon one of them swam right into me and smacked my goggles into my face, as he didn't manage to follow the lane arrows indicating up the left and down the right. He apologised and I got on with swimming.

So I had done about half of my intended 1km swim (40 lengths) when I became aware of a woman who had come in the lane stopping and standing up on the pool every time I swam past her in the opposite direction. I stopped at the end of the lane to check I was going up and down the correct sides, which I was, and kept swimming. At no point did I have any physical contact with any swimmer in the lane apart from when the man swam into me.

A couple of lengths later the man who had swam into me stood up and barred my way at the shallow end of the lane was I was about to turn. I had no choice but to stop swimming and stand up. He immediately started telling me that I had been "swimming in the middle of the lane" and to stop it and stop getting in his way. There was more than this, he went on a bit but this was the gist. I was pretty surprised, as I'm a very experienced swimmer and no-one has ever said I swim in the middle, I'm pretty sure I would be aware of this if I did or caused an accident. I said this and he started arguing, all sorts of weird stuff and I simply repeated that I had been swimming normally and using normal swimming etiquette, and that actually standing at the end of the lane blocking swimmers from turning was poor behaviour. He then said, out of the blue "I bet you have no friends". I kid you not! He also pointed out that the woman who had been stopping and had now moved into the fast lane, where being a slower swimmer, she was causing mayhem by people avoiding her, "agreed with him when he had told her". He referred to her as "a girl".

I'm afraid I was so astonished I said the first thing that came into my head, which was "Are you a sociopath?" He then said some other stuff and I said "Don't try your manipulative abusive crap with me" and swam off.

A few lengths later I stopped for a rest (he hadn't swam at all in this time and tbh he was pretty slow in the couple of lengths he had managed in all the time I had been in) and he said in a pointed way "Are you all right now?" I answered that I was fine, with the emphasis on "I" and he then said "I bet I'm younger than you".

Again, I kid you not. I said I was very surprised to hear that as I am 45 and he looked between 12-15 years older than me but to leave me alone as I was here to swim, and finished my swim and left. When I got out the pool he was waiting, but fortunately my DH was there. He approached us both and started again, pointing out my apparent flaws in swimming technique, trying to get DH on his side. DH just laughed at him. He realised he wasn't getting anywhere so eventually walked off, muttering "If you were a man it would be a different story".

Is this possibly the weirdest encounter ever in a swimming pool? What was it all about?

OP posts:

capercaillie · 30/04/2014 13:12

Some men get intimidated when there's a good female swimmer in the pool. Or if they have better technique.

Hope you don't see him again though!

SavoyCabbage · 30/04/2014 13:18

Every now and again you come across a person who you just can't use reason with. I always try to think how glad I am that a person like this is not married to my sister or my next door neighbour.

You know you didn't do anything wrong and even if you had been swimming in the middle with a rose between your teeth he shouldn't have spoken to you like that.

I am most impressed by your 40 lengths!

sparechange · 30/04/2014 13:19

Jealousy because you were a better swimmer and trying to find something, anything, to criticise you about to make himself feel less inadequate
I've seen men act very strangely when they get overtaken by women running and cycling as well...

tedmundo · 30/04/2014 13:20

Oh dear, that was a funny read but I am afraid I don't have much of an idea of what it was all about!

You may just have to file it under 'life's mysteries'.

Original poster

ChelsyHandy · 30/04/2014 13:20

I have honestly never heard anyone speak like that before. Well, not out of an overheard drunken argument in a pub or sitcom context! I'm baffled!

OP posts:

Titsalinabumsquash · 30/04/2014 13:23

Oh god, what a prick!

He obviously thought you were challenging his masculinity by being younger and better than him, poor love

SelectAUserName · 30/04/2014 13:28

I once had a similar account with another driver, because I had followed correct lane etiquette while merging from two lanes to one and he hadn't. He blocked the road, tried to open my car door and screamed utterly irrational bullshit at me. He was one of those "can't use logic" types and your swimming pool stranger sounds another one.

goodasitgets · 30/04/2014 13:30

Some people are just weird. I got called a c u next Tuesday by a driver at a roundabout. My mistake was using the correct lane

Original poster

ChelsyHandy · 30/04/2014 13:32

The stuff he was saying to DH was weird too. It was all this stuff about how if i wanted to learn to swim, i was to do x, y and z and making it out as if i was the beginner and he was the experienced swimmer. I actually met DH at a swim meet we were both racing at.

OP posts:

kentishgirl · 30/04/2014 13:39

I'd have gone and spoken to a lifeguard and said this man was harassing me. If you see him again, act as though you can't even see him. If he starts talking weird shit again, go to the staff and report him. You should be able to swim in peace. If nothing else, ask the lifeguard to monitor how everyone is swimming in the lane and have a word with whoever is weaving all over the place - you or them.

MrTumblesSpottyBag · 30/04/2014 13:44

My dh had a very similar encounter at our local pool a couple of weeks ago! Was this on the south coast? Very similar (although dh is obviously a bloke)!

ReluctantCamper · 30/04/2014 13:48

I used to do 40 lengths, and got quite fast, although not as fast as you I expect! when the pool was busy, people did get a bit strange, and men particularly seemed to get territorial about lane space.

It just sounds like you made him feel threatened. Well done to you and your DH for dealing with it so well!

ExitPursuedByABear · 30/04/2014 13:48

Weird. Hope you don't swim in to him again.

DaisyMasie · 30/04/2014 13:50

Why are there two threads running simultaneously on this?

Burren · 30/04/2014 13:55

Sounds like the classic 'man threatened by a woman being better at something and trying to undermine her by implying she is incompetent, ageing or friendless' shtick. Very tiresome. If it happens again, do tell the lifeguard you're being harassed by another pool-user.

Or try drowning him in the deep end.

captainmummy · 30/04/2014 13:58

Oh we used to go swimming 3 times a week - early mornings, when the only other people in are either serious swimmers or old ladies. DP is a bit flail-y but fast and strong, and the old ladies would TUTT loudly and complain that he was 'splashing' them. In the pool! (Don't get me started on the ones who 'swim' slowly, 3 abreast, chatting loudly and stop at the end of each lane for a breather. )
He also had someone stop in front of him in the 'fast' lane - she just stopped. He swam into her, and she told him off, saying he should be in the middle lane. She was such a slow swimmer....but thought she owned the place, becasue she 'always' swam in that lane.

DaisyMasie · 30/04/2014 14:01

I think fast strong swimmers who use the slow lane and splash water into everyones eyes and mouth as they swim past are very annoying.
Equally annoying are slow swimmers using the fast lane; swimmers doing widths across the centre of the pool; and people standing around chatting instead of swimming when the pool is really busy.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 30/04/2014 14:06

When you asked him if he was a sociopath his reply should've been 'Are you a mumsnetter?'

Everyone's a sociopath according to MN

winkywinkola · 30/04/2014 14:10

What a bloody weirdo, op.

Nocomet · 30/04/2014 14:14

Swimming pools are a bit the haunt of the lonely and odd. Ours has an impossibly chatty woman I deliberately avoid. I feel really rotten (I know one of her neighbours and most of the village avoids her), but I pay my money to get some exercise!

Ludways · 30/04/2014 14:18

I'm also a club swimmer of old (I'm 47, wonder if I know you, lol) and I'm fast, I'm very careful when swimming in public lanes as although I'm fast I'm in complete control of myself, more in control than most people going slower. However, I've had some weird and wonderful encounters over the years, generally slow old women or fast but not as fast as me men.

I think the old ladies see the speed and panic, thinking anyone going fast is going to hurt them. The fast men are just feeling inadequate.

May be next time you'll need to go in a faster lane.

ErrolTheDragon · 30/04/2014 14:18

YANBU.

'"If you were a man it would be a different story". Quite probably.

Original poster

ChelsyHandy · 30/04/2014 14:31

The lifeguards were watching quite attentively but i don't think they like to get involved unless someone asks them. I bet they get accused of all sorts if they do. I guess i should have complained to them, i swim there a lot and have got to know the staff quite well, but i was in a hurt to meet DH for lunch. Also, i got the impression that the man was the sort of attention seeking self righteous whinger who would have got pleasure out of further disrupting someone's day.

I guess i could have gone in one of the two fast lanes, but they busy with really fast swimmers. Although i never seem to have any trouble in a lane with faster swimmers. But the medium lane was nearly empty, and the rest of the pool unlaned for those who objected to people swimming.

He just tried to pick a fight with meno good reason!

OP posts:

Marylou2 · 30/04/2014 14:35

If you're 45, as I am too, you may remember Jasper Carrott's fantastic sketch " The nutter on the Bus" I think he might have made it off the bus and into the swimming pool.

brainwashed · 30/04/2014 14:40

I think swimming pools do funny things to people. My teenage son ( very good controlled swimmer) got told off by a lifeguard after 2 middle aged women complained about him. Apparently it is wrong to swim in a straight line with your head under the water. The correct method is "granny" breaststroke weaving all over the place and chatting constantly.

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