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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Find This Man's Behaviour And Comments In The Swimming Pool Utterly Bizarre

46 replies

ChelsyHandy · 30/04/2014 13:08

(name changed as embarrassed by it/wondering if I'm a freak).

I'm quite a fast swimmer (swimming club as child, bit of Masters swimming now and again), do front crawl and so at my local swimming pool on Saturday, went in the lane marked "medium". There were two lanes up marked "Fast" full of really fast swimmers whizzing up and down, one "Medium" and the rest of the pool was available for non lane swimming but was a bit busy.

There were two men standing at the end of the medium lane chatting when I got in, so I squeezed in past them and started swimming lengths. Pretty soon one of them swam right into me and smacked my goggles into my face, as he didn't manage to follow the lane arrows indicating up the left and down the right. He apologised and I got on with swimming.

So I had done about half of my intended 1km swim (40 lengths) when I became aware of a woman who had come in the lane stopping and standing up on the pool every time I swam past her in the opposite direction. I stopped at the end of the lane to check I was going up and down the correct sides, which I was, and kept swimming. At no point did I have any physical contact with any swimmer in the lane apart from when the man swam into me.

A couple of lengths later the man who had swam into me stood up and barred my way at the shallow end of the lane was I was about to turn. I had no choice but to stop swimming and stand up. He immediately started telling me that I had been "swimming in the middle of the lane" and to stop it and stop getting in his way. There was more than this, he went on a bit but this was the gist. I was pretty surprised, as I'm a very experienced swimmer and no-one has ever said I swim in the middle, I'm pretty sure I would be aware of this if I did or caused an accident. I said this and he started arguing, all sorts of weird stuff and I simply repeated that I had been swimming normally and using normal swimming etiquette, and that actually standing at the end of the lane blocking swimmers from turning was poor behaviour. He then said, out of the blue "I bet you have no friends". I kid you not! He also pointed out that the woman who had been stopping and had now moved into the fast lane, where being a slower swimmer, she was causing mayhem by people avoiding her, "agreed with him when he had told her". He referred to her as "a girl".

I'm afraid I was so astonished I said the first thing that came into my head, which was "Are you a sociopath?" He then said some other stuff and I said "Don't try your manipulative abusive crap with me" and swam off.

A few lengths later I stopped for a rest (he hadn't swam at all in this time and tbh he was pretty slow in the couple of lengths he had managed in all the time I had been in) and he said in a pointed way "Are you all right now?" I answered that I was fine, with the emphasis on "I" and he then said "I bet I'm younger than you".

Again, I kid you not. I said I was very surprised to hear that as I am 45 and he looked between 12-15 years older than me but to leave me alone as I was here to swim, and finished my swim and left. When I got out the pool he was waiting, but fortunately my DH was there. He approached us both and started again, pointing out my apparent flaws in swimming technique, trying to get DH on his side. DH just laughed at him. He realised he wasn't getting anywhere so eventually walked off, muttering "If you were a man it would be a different story".

Is this possibly the weirdest encounter ever in a swimming pool? What was it all about?

OP posts:
ncjustbecause · 30/04/2014 14:44

I think the woman who moved lanes probably did it because of the guy speaking to her, not because of you.

Gurnie · 30/04/2014 14:46

Oh dear! I don't think it was you. I agree with many posters. He was obviously a very unusual character but I also think that some men are put off and annoyed by someone who is better than them at sport.

I used to do alot of running. I wasn't good by any stretch of the imagination, neither did I make a big thing of it but I could run for a very long time without stopping! If it ever came up in conversation that I ran or had participated in a recent race men who did no sport whatsoever would feel the need to make some sort of put down or act as if they could in fact do just as well as me or that what I did was "no real achievement". I'm not saying all men by any stretch of the imagination but more than one or two.

I particularly remember being in a park with Dd and one of her uncles. Some people near us were playing tennis. He looked over at them and said to me "Now tennis.....that takes real talent, not like just putting one foot in front of another like you do"!

jenniuol · 30/04/2014 14:59

Grin @ "Are you a sociopath?"

vitaminZ · 30/04/2014 15:07

What a complete loon. Probably has a very small willy and a trying to compensate by taking it out on women.

Primrose123 · 30/04/2014 15:14

Don't try your manipulative abusive crap with me.

I'm very impressed by what you said. I would never have thought of that on the spot! He was obviously trying to intimidate you. Well done for standing up to him.

Callani · 30/04/2014 15:32

trying to compensate by taking it out on women

Hopefully not in the pool vitaminZ!

sunshinesoutmybum · 30/04/2014 15:33

maybe his banana hammock was too tight, cutting off oxygen to his brain?!

frecklefootie · 30/04/2014 16:03

YANBU, he was weird.

I think you stepped into his own personal drama. He has something he cannot deal with, he is in hell, and he is so not able to cope with it he projects onto other people

Some of the things he said:

"I bet you have no friends"

"I bet I'm younger than you"

Seemed pretty irrelevant,

BUT:

These probably were things than were said or implied to HIM (lonely middle aged man, maybe hates younger men, has no social life) and he was looking to project them onto someone.

You were IT for the day.

Enjoy your next swim! Smile

frecklefootie · 30/04/2014 16:10

Funnily enough, I wonder if its the same, or similar guy my male friend (lives somewhere with place name ending with W) encountered at the pool

I think he was using the same technique, latching onto people, getting in their way, slamming into women, and turning it into a big drama? Confused Weirdo who was basically not there to swim, but to call attention to himself.

I can't remember the exact details, and used it on or in front of my male friend, who looks like a geek but is actually pretty Ok with getting into an argument if the situation necessitates. I think my friend did have a word, and also mentioned it to the pool attendant, but they couldn't ban him.

Megrim · 30/04/2014 16:16

Very odd behaviour indeed - and nothing more annoying than people that hang around at the end of the land chatting and blocking the wall.

Take your fins next time. And hand paddles.

IkeaFurnitureAssemblyChampions · 30/04/2014 16:20

"I bet I'm younger than you"

Completely bizarre attempt at an insult, it's almost funny!

northernpixie · 30/04/2014 16:38

YANBU, definitely very odd. I have been a regular swimmer (2km most days) for years. The local pool has slow, medium and fast lanes and I swap between fast and medium depending on the pace of the other swimmers. Over the years I have met loads of nice swimmers and some complete tossers with no idea of lane etiquette. I am a bit surprised by some of the comments, I never considered being male/female an indicator of how reasonable the swimmer is, there are many nice and few horrible ones regardless of their gender. I always try to swim in such a way that I am "invisible" to others in the lane (ie don’t get in the way of the faster ones, don’t upset the slower ones).

I would have been tempted to involve the lifeguards, swimming should be enjoyable and nobody needs this type of hassle.

ChelsyHandy · 30/04/2014 17:32

Thanks for making me feel better esp the small willy comments. He definately meant to be intimidating. He must have got out the pool and changed as soon as I left too, to continue his argument outside as he was hanging around as we left. It was just lucky coincidence that DH was there

Anyone who thinks they might have encountered him - not any of those places you mentioned but he is quite recognisable because he is entirely bald. Not a single hair on his head. Not particularly tall and not athletic looking.

I honestly thought his comments were bizarre, but wondered whether they were well practised lines aimed at upsetting people. Maybe he even went to the swimming pool with the aim of picking on someone and causing trouble. You do get a few odd types in public swimming pools, im sure some of them are attracted by the lack of clothing and communal nature of it.

Ill try and speak to the lifeguard who was on duty next time Im in.

OP posts:
wolfofwestfieled · 30/04/2014 17:44

Well he was clearly a weirdo, but that doesn't explain why the woman stood up every time you passed her.

ErrolTheDragon · 30/04/2014 17:52

that doesn't explain why the woman stood up every time you passed her.

perhaps she'd been rammed by a front-crawler in the past like my shortshighted DH who used to before he got corrective goggles and was nervous, and might not have realised that a decent swimmer with goggles will plough a straight line. Swimming in lanes is like driving on a motorway - requires lane discipline and a degree of trust that others won't randomly veer into you,

arethereanyleftatall · 30/04/2014 18:24

Even though the stuff he said was absolutely bizarre, between him and the lady standing up/swapping lanes, it does sound like you were swimming in the middle of the lane.

Ludways · 30/04/2014 18:26

Northern, I don't think anyone was suggesting male/female as an automatic indicator of whether they would be reasonable not not. However IME I've had a hell of a lot more men have an issue with me being faster than them than I have women. Men always want to race, fgs!

ChelsyHandy · 30/04/2014 18:28

Yes, I know Wolf. I have a sneaking suspicion that she simply believed what he told her. Perhaps they vaguely knew each other from past swimming pool encounters (although i got the impression he at least was quite a "new" swimmer).

Now people are going to think i was doing something odd. Or that i have two heads, or at least wear four hats or something. Honestly, i wasn't doing anything unusual at all. I was simply swimming up and down a lane. If anything, i swim too close to the lane rope, rather than the middle.

Never had such a bizarre experience in a swimming pool!

OP posts:
ChelsyHandy · 30/04/2014 18:31

Nope, I definately wasn't swimming in the middle of the lane. Ive done so.much swimming in narrow shared club lanes that my lane discipline is pretty good, plus i probably wouldn't be alive now if it wasn't! It was something he made up.

OP posts:
Caterina99 · 30/04/2014 18:32

If only I had enough money for my own pool. No slow grannies ( sorry I know you are exercising, but you are in my way!), no jumping children, no people doing widths, no back stroke if you can't go in a straight line, no over enthusiastic men attempting butterfly and causing a tidal wave, and absolutely no crazy people!!

Wooodpecker · 30/04/2014 18:36

He clearly has a problem or several of them. Poor you OP it must have shaken you up.

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