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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder whether you'd prefer to go to Malory Towers or the Chalet School

999 replies

Vintagejazz · 29/04/2014 16:31

I just heard to girls about 11 years of age having an earnest discussion about this on the bus. I didn't think kids even read Chalet School books any more.
I think I'd opt for Malory Towers. They seemed to have more fun. I'd probably be expelled from the Chalet School for cursing, wearing lipstick and forgetting to speak German every Wednesday or whatever it was.

OP posts:
Burren · 06/05/2014 15:36

There was also a weird late-ish book (Redheads?) where the stepdaughter of some endangered policeman tracking an international gang hides out at the CS under a different name, and despite the fact she's in actual danger - the gang have specifically threatened her, and a mysterious American woman has been hanging around asking questions about red-haired CS girls - Hilda is all 'Oh no, we can't dye her hair, or keep her on school property - what would the other girls say?'

And then the wrong redheaded girl gets kidnapped, but luckily the gang realises it before they carry out their threat to get her addicted to drugs and release her, leaving her on a train with the correct ticket in her pocket. (Which I always find hilarious - they murder, rob and kidnap, but ensure their unconscious kidnap victim has the right ticket home, and when they drug her, it's in a glass of classically CS 'rich, creamy milk'!)

And - this is the weirdest bit - Hilda won't even let the kidnapped girl's mother fuss over her when she wakes up, because she's in the doghouse for having been out of bounds going to see her sick brother at the San, so the kidnap is 100% her own fault!

Someone also pulls a gun on Hilda, rather than admiring her blue eyes that had never yet needed glasses and her beautiful voice. Shock!

thebodylovesspring · 06/05/2014 15:37

Girls girls please stop addling your feminine brains in things that only male brains can cope with.

Now what theme shall we have for the sale. Grin

squoosh · 06/05/2014 15:40

Yes, you'd be putting your time to better use by getting yourselves pregnant, not flustering about with this manly technology.

Then, after the awful deed is done have a valium and a mug of hot milk.

Summerbreezing · 06/05/2014 15:40

What you girls need is to find yourselves a couple of nice doctors.

DeWee · 06/05/2014 15:52

I think the sale that really irritates is Chalet School Fete (Genius of the Chalet school for hb).

The prefects are discussing what theme, and one of them comes up with the idea of "An old English" fair. Sounds fine, and at least the guests might stand some chance of recognising what the theme is, which for some they will struggle. Joey comes in part way through, and thinks it's a good idea, and suggests a couple of ideas for things they could have.

But then later, Hilda phones Joey, and when on the phone she says something along the lines of "I think you'd like to know we all think that your idea for the fair is an act of genius."
And Joey replies, not with actually it was someone elses' idea... but "I thought so too."

Makes Joey look so mean spirited, and shows how EBD by that point wanted to give Joey all the credit for anything Our One and Only Mary Lou didn't do...

haggisaggis · 06/05/2014 15:53

Gymmboy - Not that it's any help to you but I've successfully downloaded 3 Chalet School e-books from GGB - mine is to a normal Kindle though, not Kindle Fire.

gymboywalton · 06/05/2014 15:54

can you tell me the secret?! where am i going wrong??

thebodylovesspring · 06/05/2014 15:54

I am hoping for quads after this next batch of twins.

runs away lightly as a girl

Summerbreezing · 06/05/2014 16:00

Ooh let's have a race thebody and see who gets to have quads first. It's all such good girlish fun.

Burren · 06/05/2014 16:09

Giving undue credit to Joey got a bit out of hand in the late books, didn't it? There was one where Joey sent over some homemade jam and someone leaps to their feet and proposes three cheers for Mrs Maynard and the entire school loses it, shouting and cheering, until Hilda suppresses them. Over some jam. Not even in the middle of rationing. Not even made by Joey, but by the devoted sap 'handmaiden' Anna.

Maybe some of the mysterious 'Joey is busy and must not be disturbed' pregnancies involved Anna carrying the baby for her beloved mistress?

squoosh · 06/05/2014 16:12

I'd have clobbered Joey and her earphone hair with one of her beloved books on Greek Myths and Legends.

She really was the Kim Jong-un of her own little kingdom.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves · 06/05/2014 16:16

I tend to think of her as a bit like Enid Blyton who was hardly Mother of the Year.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/05/2014 16:32

One mistake in the books that always messes with my head is the continuity error between Genius and Fete. If I remember right, in Genius, Nina gets to cuddle Cecily, who is about three months old, but in Fete (the next book) she is at Freudesheim practicing the piano when Joey comes home from the San with the newborn Cecily!! Confused

thebodylovesspring · 06/05/2014 16:58

squoosh Kim Jong Un that is hilarious Grin

SDT yes agree and there are loads of EDB isms throughout the books.

In peace comes to the chalet school by I think Katherine Bruce she attempts to explain them. It's a lovely read.

summerI have sextuplets already so have beaten you in every way my lamb. Grin

NotCitrus · 06/05/2014 17:08

I suspect 'newborn' in EBD-speak means up to about a year, given Robin and others still being 'babies' at seven or older!

I remember reading Adrienne standing in WHSmiths and deciding not to buy it after all as it was so bonkers. Was she really implying Robin was so delicate because of her parent's incest? EBD influenced by Virginia Andrews, maybe?

WilsonFrickett · 06/05/2014 17:08

OMG Burren has it - Anna was actually Joey's surrogate. Stands to reason when you think about it, as someone said upthread if Joey had had all them weans herself she'd be carrying her pelvic floor around in a wheelbarrow...

FatalCabbage · 06/05/2014 17:13

Is that why Jack has to dope Jo so much? So she simply can't remember whether or not she's been pregnant?

flugella · 06/05/2014 17:32

That's the only rational explanation I can think of. How can anyone carry that many multiple pregnancies without ending up having a hysterectomy for their own safety??!

JonathanGirl · 06/05/2014 18:06

Empress I have sent you a PM.

I really want to read loads of Chalet school books now!

thebodylovesspring · 06/05/2014 18:41

having a hysterectomy for their own safety Grin

I remember howling with laughter when Joey tells the school Madge has had twins. She says Jem is very pleased she has caught up with Joey and dick bettany as they all have 6 children each now.

Bonkers! But love it.

LittleBearPad · 06/05/2014 19:47

It's wonderful, if a little mad.

But what were synthetic maps. Pretty please? I've never been able to figure it out.

lessonsintightropes · 06/05/2014 19:50

LittleBearPad the answer to your question can be found here.

gymboywalton · 06/05/2014 20:55

youb are going to love this
my handsome husband , the dr, has sorted it out for me!Grin

he really is a dr too [although an academic rrather than the kind that would help his collegues wives to give birth to their 18th child]

Kittykatmacbill · 06/05/2014 21:02

Wow love this thread!

Chalet school all the way, joey was always worrying but I loved some of secondary characters biddy o'ryan particulary, and gay lambert.

But basically all the kaffee und kutchen :-)

empress may I have transcripts too, please!

EmpressOfJurisfiction · 06/05/2014 21:09

PM me your email address, Kitty, and I'll send them over!

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