To make such a big deal of this?

[Littlebme12]

Dp sent my ds to school with mouldy bread yesterday. Mouldy bread that didn't even have a filling as apparently he couldn't find anything in the fridge (i always buy fresh school supplies on Sunday evening, plus I was upstairs - he ciuldve asked.

Said he didn't realise bread was mouldy. He was trying yo use up last of the old loaf before opening new one in the knowledge that it had been there since the middle of last week am hadn't been used over the weekend.Ds came home and said his sandwich tasted funny, so that's how i worked this all out. Ds has slight learning probs and needs reminded to pick up his lunch. Dp also 'forgot' this and Ds water and snacks were left behind.

I want to actually punch his face in. Im just imagining poor Ds at school eating a mouldy slice of bread and it quite honestly makes me want to cry. Am i over reacting? Dp thinks so, also cast up a thing i did with dd at school years ago in his defence!

I think I would be asking myself how DP interacts with DS; is he loving, attentive, interested, behaves like a parent would?

You know the answer to that one, OP.

If my husband would have done this, apart from good-naturedly ripping him a new one, it wouldn't be an issue because he's a father and behaves like one. It would actually be me that is more likely to be 'slap dash' if anybody...

"Not the first time he has done this type of thing, denies its because he feels i should be doing it or he feel he shouldn't etc " And there you have the crux of the problem. It's your work. Not his (in his eyes). So your son can suffer the consequences of you not doing your 'job' properly.

What a thoroughly delightful man. I'd post in Relationships about him if I were you. I suspect that this is the tip of the iceberg.

Bitter - i said those exact words eat that for a week and see how u like it to be met with complete silence.

Arse that he is.

I am also mortified at the thought of anyone seeing him eating that!! oh god.

It's sounding worse as you go on.

Big problem with the fact that he is not doing a better job of caring for his stepson. If this is an ongoing issue (and I don't care what he says, his actions are what matters) then I'm afraid I would not be letting someone care for my child who has not demonstrated the motivation to do an excellent job of it.

Time to think about things, maybe?

Littlebme, have you posted before about your relationship? I seem to recognise your username...

In any case. I think I'd be seriously reconsidering whether or not I could be bothered to have someone like this in my life and esp in my child's life.

Holger yes i have. Iv posted in relationships.

I can't believe this is happening if it is. Jesus Im losing the plot a bit here with all of this.

Trying to take a breath here and calm down.

Sorry for the rambling

Littlebme12 I hope you don't mind but I've read your posts in Relationships. As thought this is the tip of the iceberg.

I don't think you need to keep starting a different thread everytime he does something wrong. Everyone is saying the same thing. It is him that is the problem. Not you or your perception of the current issue. You will be able to get much better ongoing support (if that is what you want) with a single thread.

And the reason you feel like you are losing the plot is 'gaslighting'. Whatever you decide to do I think it needs a real rethink of your relationship, what you are getting out of it and whether you feel you can continue to put up with his complete lack of respect for you.

jeez, is your dh a bit simple or something? or just lazy and doesn't give a shit about his kids?

DH completely forgot to give DS1 lunch the other day; no lunch at all in his bag. I didn't get upset at anybody about it.

I've given moudly bread in sandwiches before (by accident). I would try to use up old bread before starting new loaf, too (how wasteful if you don't). I have given DC plain bread for main part of their lunch before, if they asked. I sometimes forget to remind DC about things. Or forget little things they need. If I felt like you were attacking me about any of that or all of it at once, I'd probably clam up & have nothing to say at all, too. Especially if I felt guilty.

I'm veering towards YABU.

I agree with scallops above. I understand what you're trying to do, I think. I think you know that you need to tell him to go but you're afraid for whatever reason and in asking for advice it seems as if you're trying to find validation for what you know you need to so, and maybe also the courage to do it.

You are stronger than you think.

scallops and holger - I just needed to hear from others who don't know me or him.

Its over and iv told him just need to put up with the begging and pleading until he can sort outsomewhere to live.

Whether he's a bit daft or passive aggressive he is an otherwise alright guy. This is what has troubled me so much. I am not sure what i feel, just know i don't want to continue feeling what i have.

Good luck Littlebme12. FWIW I think you've done the right thing.

Stay strong x

I accidentally made DP's sandwiches with mold bread once

But YANBU, no filling? No snack or drink? The lazy bastard. Your poor DC!

Yea really. . Mortified and sad for ds although he's not mentioned it again. Despite lunches and sandwiches being a hot topic lol for the record he's not that keen on just bread.

Accidents happen, this constant forgetting or not paying attention or being sloppy does not just happen.

And i was told a bunch of lies again today over a pot noodle. Seriously. U couldn't make this shit up.

You've been strong OP and good on you