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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give boys and girls the same things in their party bags?

55 replies

Moonfacesmother · 28/04/2014 20:00

Ds will be 5 and the party bags will have mainly 'boy' type toys and some sweets.

I wouldn't usually give it a second thought but at the last party we went to two of the girls refused to see down and eat because the plates were pirate plates and so were for boys Confused
One girl even cried.
And instead of telling them to get a grip the parents were all 'there there, no there aren't any princess plates. Just put your food on your service the.'

So Aibu to put dinosaurs, bugs and cars in the girls party bags too? I reckon there will be some girls who would prefer this anyway so better to give all the same!

OP posts:
tobysmum77 · 28/04/2014 20:05

yanbu they need to get a grip (mother of 5yo dd speaking). Tbh I am generally a bit Hmm about gender differentiated party bags.

chesterberry · 28/04/2014 20:09

It wouldn't even occur to me to do different party bags by gender. I think it's fine to just put the same in all the bags, I would try to make sure I included some completely gender-neutral things (bubbles, crayons, balloons etc) and if everything else is a bit more 'boy' type then I think that is fine. At 5 I think most girls would enjoy bugs/cars etc anyway.

tobysmum77 · 28/04/2014 20:13

cars dd isn't that into but bugs and dinosaurs are a definite hit Grin

HaroldLloyd · 28/04/2014 20:14

Not al all I would do this too.

EatDessertFirst · 28/04/2014 20:14

YANBU. My DD (5yo) is a 'girly girl' but she would love bugs she could use to terrorise her little brother and dinos! Bubbles and balloons are always winners.

(Handing those mums a grip to go alongside the one already provided by tobysmum).

CinnamonPlums · 28/04/2014 20:15

It wouldn't even occur to me. Dd is 5 next week and we are doing a dinosaur treasure hunt. If the girls that are invited are expecting princesses and fairies they are in for a surprise

PuntCuffin · 28/04/2014 20:18

Wouldn't occur to me to gender divide like that Confused
In fact, knowing that there were girls coming who have been indoctrinated into pink sparkly princessdom would make me more likely to only put in 'boy' stuff.

FreeSpirit89 · 28/04/2014 20:18

If I had a DD I would be happy with that. Some people need to get a grip.

Things like this always make me fear for the school start September

JonesRipley · 28/04/2014 20:19

I think their parents were gently telling them to get a grip, weren't they?

I like gloves or socks with a few sweets in for party "bags" - Popular with parents too

ikeaismylocal · 28/04/2014 20:19

Yanbu how do people not laugh at children crying over having to eat birthday cake of a plate with a pirate on.

JonesRipley · 28/04/2014 20:20

Laughing at small children is not kind

Original poster
Moonfacesmother · 28/04/2014 20:21

I don't know jones. If it was ds with a 'girl' plate I'd say 'don't be ungrateful. Eat off that or have nothing.'
Not 'never mind, eat off your gender neutral serviette' in tones of sympathy.

OP posts:
JonesRipley · 28/04/2014 20:22

Ok, I wasn't there. I'd be somewhere in between - the main message being "eat your food, the plate doesn't matter"

mydaftlass · 28/04/2014 20:24

They all get the same here and bugs, pirates and dinos are all good with my DDs. Cars not so much with dd1 but she wouldn't cry about it.

ikeaismylocal · 28/04/2014 20:25

Laughing at small children is not kind Letting children behave in a rude, ungrateful way and letting them think that it is an ok to be so emotionally moved that you cry over a bloody picture on a plate is also not kind.

What is the alternative? Sternly tell to stop being so silly? Not let them have any cake?

Laughing shows them that if you say you don't want to eat of a plate with a certain picture on it it is so silly that it is laughable.

PostmanPatAlwaysRingsTwice · 28/04/2014 20:36

They called it a serviette? Shock

SarahAndFuck · 28/04/2014 20:36

I gave them all the same at DS's party (just turned five) and I suppose some of the things were a little bit 'boy' biased in some people's opinions.

There was one of those polystyrene aeroplane kits, a bouncy ball, robot themed erasers but there were also glittery pencils, balloons and whistling lips. And then boxes of raisins, bags of Haribo and some lollipops.

But to be honest, I would have loved all that when I was little and I didn't buy any of it because DS is a boy and they are 'boy' things, I bought it all because I knew DS would like them and hoped the other children would as well.

I wouldn't be very impressed with DS if he cried about a picture on a plate at someone else's birthday party or complained about the things in his party bag.

WorraLiberty · 28/04/2014 21:10

Weird Confused

But YANBU

EBearhug · 28/04/2014 21:15

I'd be telling them about Anne Bonney and Mary Read. Pirating is a fine career for a woman.

(Well, technically it's not a fine career for anyone, but there were women pirates.)

jeanmiguelfangio · 28/04/2014 21:39

Jeez, pirate plates- whats next? My dd (she is little mind) currently has a fascination with dinosaurs. I can never understand why there is such drama over these things, why cant people just be grateful for things regardless.

pointythings · 28/04/2014 21:42

YANBU, we never did gendered party stuff. My DDs were never into pink and sparkly and neither were their friends.

Louise1956 · 28/04/2014 23:55

personally, if it was a mixed party, i'd go for gender neutral things like crayons, bouncy balls, puzzles etc. I wouldn't have thought children would care about what was on their plates though, that's a bit weird.

Mim78 · 29/04/2014 04:12

My dd had a pirate party aged 4 and seems to want another for her 6 th. Party bags and plates were therefore pirate based.

sashh · 29/04/2014 05:48

please please put the same in for both. It makes my feminist hackles rise all this boys and girls separate toys.

namelessposter · 29/04/2014 05:52

Gendered party bags piss me off. Thankyou for not doing them.

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