Neighbour upset over baby's name.

[qazxc]

I'm 8 months pg, neighbour has popped round with a few bits for the baby. I don't know her very well but her DP and my DP are friends.
Her youngest is turning one and she had asked me if i needed some stuff that her DD had grown out of and i said yes please thank you very much. So she popped round with the stuff this evening. All was lovely and pleasant she was asking how i was doing,when i was due, feeling my belly... All normal and friendly chat.
Then she asked what we were calling the baby. I told her that we thought we had decided on a name but we weren't going to tell anyone til after the birth (which is true, even my mum doesn't know despite trying desperately to get it out of me). I gave a couple of reasons for this, one being that we might change our mind once the baby is born, the other that my sister said if the announcement of the name is left until after the baby is born, people will not offer opinions/try and dissuade you. The neighbour asked again and i just laughed it off saying "oh no I'm not saying".
She then got a bit upset i think. She just snapped "well i would have just said it was a lovely name anyway!" and left quite abruptly. I hate to think that I have upset her but at the same time I'd really rather let the name announcement come with the birth (as I said we might change our mind totally once we meet her). Should I go and apologise but still refuse to tell her the name? That would be making things worse wouldn't it? AIBU not to tell her? Should I forget it and see what she is like next time we meet?
I am a bit flumoxed by this, pregnancy brain and total lack of sleep are not helping.

YANBU to not tell her. I didn't tell anyone except close family the name or sex of ds until he was born. I just said we didn't know and wanted it to be a surprise if anyone asked. Your neighbour sounds odd.

YANBU. She's a bit of a twit. Leave her be.

She probably thinks because she gave you some free stuff, she deserves to know the name you like. She doesn't though, and is a mardy cow.

I'd just have said that you weren't sure.

You've made it sound like you don't trust her to be supportive now. Or you could at least have said that your partner didn't want you to tell anyone. It's just that what you did say, despite being true, sounds a bit hurtful.

I'd leave it for now, though, and hope that it improves on its own over time. I can't see how you can make it better.

Oh dear. I wouldn't necessarily make an effort to go and apologise, but maybe next time you see her say you really didn't want to to rude but you haven't even told your parents yet. Maybe by then she'll have calmed down anyway.

YANBU, I would just leave it. Otherwise what will you be apologising for? "Sorry you got all weird about me perfectly reasonably not telling you my unborn child's name".

Fucking weirdo. I'd just carry on, send thank you card. Or flowers for the baby stuff and stick to your guns.
Good luck with your pg.
(What did you say the name was? )

she sounds like a fruit loop! And one who can't take a hint.

What an odd woman. Do what coconutty said

What a ridiculous reaction. Silly lady.
If you have not even told your family why would you tell a random neighbour?
Weird.

Plenty of good reasons not to tell anyone the name until after the baby is born. Red flags waving over her. Polite but distant would be the approach I took with her.

With hindsight, saying you weren't sure as per AreYouFeelingLucky's suggestion would have been better. Daft of her to get upset over it but people do get ruffled by small apparent slights. I would greet her normally and cheerfully next time, and behave as if the whole conversation never happened. If she does ever ask again, say 'Well, actually, we've had a few changes of mind about it now so we're just going to leave it till s/he arrives and see what comes to mind then'.

My neighbour did exactly the same and was insisting I tell her! I didn't and certainly didn't even consider apologising either! It's just weird! We ended up calling dd a different name anyway!

YANBU It is quite common for people to not tell anyone the name.
A lady I work very closely with is also 8 months. She decided on a name when she found out the sex and I find it quite odd referring to the baby by name before they are born.

What a weirdo, my best friend didn't tell me or anyone else what names they had picked out and it didn't occur to me to be offended. I was actually really excited! She sounds like hard work and not someone you want around when you are about to become a FTM.

YANBU, do not go and apologise. If she was a normal person she'd be hot footing it back to yours to apologise or not have stomped off in the first place.

I didn't tell anyone our baby name choices. I think she was rude. Giving fre stuff doesn't warrant that mood swing of the century!

ywnbu.
You politely explained your reasons and she was very u for asking again.
Let her huff, she'll find out when you choose to tell.

She sounds like a loon. Don't worry about it.

I find the whole "we've chosen but we're not telling" thing a bit childish and silly really - it implies that the person you're talking to can't be trusted with your oh-so-important information. I wouldn't react the way your neighbour did but I'd think you were a bit of a tit.

How strange

But then if I am totally honest I think that what you said was - perhaps - a wee bit odd and could be taken the wrong way quite easily. It's a bit like saying "I'm not yelling you". Better just to say "oh we'll know when we meet them" or something. Not to fret about it though, just carry on as normal.

Bizarre

YANBU

Thank you for all your responses. I was worried i had gone a bit PFB with the baby name.
Maybe I should have engaged the brain a bit more and said we weren't sure but TBH I didn't think she be upset as i did say that we didn't tell anyone, it's not like she would have felt left out or anything.
I'll leave it/ignore it and just pop round in a few days with a thank you card/present for the baby stuff. She does seem like a lovely person normally.

x post with Cailin who said what I twas thinking in a more direct way.

We have friends who found out the gender of their baby and made a point of telling everyone they knew but weren't going to say what they were having. Just plain weird.