Neighbour upset over baby's name.

[qazxc]

I'm 8 months pg, neighbour has popped round with a few bits for the baby. I don't know her very well but her DP and my DP are friends.
Her youngest is turning one and she had asked me if i needed some stuff that her DD had grown out of and i said yes please thank you very much. So she popped round with the stuff this evening. All was lovely and pleasant she was asking how i was doing,when i was due, feeling my belly... All normal and friendly chat.
Then she asked what we were calling the baby. I told her that we thought we had decided on a name but we weren't going to tell anyone til after the birth (which is true, even my mum doesn't know despite trying desperately to get it out of me). I gave a couple of reasons for this, one being that we might change our mind once the baby is born, the other that my sister said if the announcement of the name is left until after the baby is born, people will not offer opinions/try and dissuade you. The neighbour asked again and i just laughed it off saying "oh no I'm not saying".
She then got a bit upset i think. She just snapped "well i would have just said it was a lovely name anyway!" and left quite abruptly. I hate to think that I have upset her but at the same time I'd really rather let the name announcement come with the birth (as I said we might change our mind totally once we meet her). Should I go and apologise but still refuse to tell her the name? That would be making things worse wouldn't it? AIBU not to tell her? Should I forget it and see what she is like next time we meet?
I am a bit flumoxed by this, pregnancy brain and total lack of sleep are not helping.

We told noone at all until the birth. I think she was the tit, frankly. What an odd thing to get upset about.

In future through maybe just tell people you don't know yet in case they are over sensitive types

Strange, I've had someone say they didn't want to say the name before and I never gave it a second thought because its their baby and their right to tell people if they want to.

Some people find out the gender and still keep it a secret.

I agree with our reasons for not telling people, but I don't think you need to tell them to people.

Throw in a few red herrings, if you like - discuss the merits of Doris vs Khaleesi.

Hopefully the neighbour will get over the perceived slight, soon enough.

We're telling people our baby is going to be called after a brand of alcoholic drink - amusing to see people fall for it, and no one has challenged us yet.

We're not using that name obviously.

She's being ridiculous.

We didn't tell anyone our chosen names. And yes, that includes my parents.

Why on EARTH should the OP have had to sugar coat it: lie and say "we're not sure". That's barmy! She couldn't possibly have predicted that her neighbour was going to overreact so much.

Egads.

Meh

I would just be telling people that we hadn't decided yet.

Why tell people you haven't decided? Keeping a name between the parents is totally valid & should be respected IMHO.

You did nothing wrong. Your neighbour was rude.

nice to give you stuff but she should have respected you saying that you weren't saying. You even gave perfectly good reasons.

Then to snap at you? Hm, not reasonable. I'd give her a thank you note and keep a bit of distance in future.

You certainly have absolutely no reason to apologise. FGS what business is it of hers anyway?!

YANBU not to tell people if you don't want to - it is your baby, so it is entirely up to you how much information you choose to divulge. And stroppy woman does not deserve an apology. Hopefully she will get over herself before you meet again.

But, that said, as there are usually a lot of people out there who are interested to know what sex the baby is, and what you're calling the baby it would probably be easier to just say that you don't know, rather than saying we know, but we're not telling.

Because instead of respecting your perfectly reasonable decision, some people will inevitably hear a childish: "Ha ha ha we know, but its a secret and we're not telling!" And while some of those people will just privately think you're being silly and roll their eyes, others will flounce - as demonstrated by the neighbour.

I reckon she thinks you are going to give your dd the same name as her dd.

Agree with you about not looking like the name we had chosen.we didn't know the sex but had a dd and we're going to call her Ellen. Well she didn't look like one so she's a something else! Neighbour will get over it!