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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ban dp from our bed?

51 replies

BobPatandIgglePiggle · 25/04/2014 22:57

Because he's not had a bath in a week?

Every night this week he's said he'll go in but hasn't got round to it.

He's had a couple of armpit washes and doesn't smell when he's wearing his (clean every day) clothes but he rolled over in bed last night and he smelt foisty :-(

He's not depressed or anything, just lazy but I find it disgusting!

OP posts:
Mutt · 25/04/2014 23:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 25/04/2014 23:22

I've only known one bloke who was a lazy shower dodger (I always though it was because he went to boarding school), and it was disgusting, even though I've got no sense of smell you could just see the greasy/grubbiness of him, it spoke volumes about what type of person he was/is.

AgentZigzag · 25/04/2014 23:24

That was in response to him saying it's a 'bloke thing', what a load of bollocks.

JustSquirted · 25/04/2014 23:24

You put up with him washing every 3 days? He must stink.

MamaPain · 25/04/2014 23:25

That is disgusting. YANBU and I would tell him why in no uncertain terms.

My DH is the opposite and takes personal hygiene a bit too seriously, it's like being married to the Tom Ford fragrance collection. I'm the one occasionally threatened with banning from the bed, even though I shower daily.

ToomuchIsBackOnBootcamp · 25/04/2014 23:35

That's disgusting and YAdefNBU.

It's not a "bloke" thing. Every man I've had a relationship with (ballpark figure? Not saying, but it's less than a whole ballpark. I think.) has showered or bathed every day. Every day. It's just what normal reasonable, aware, adults do.

Minger.

maras2 · 26/04/2014 01:07

I've only ever had 1 bloke , my DH of 45 years . He has showered / bathed every single day bar one when he had an operation for a hernia . I gave him a bedbath.

Lotsofthingscantfly · 26/04/2014 08:20

OK, i see how getting in the shower with him might not be a great thought but hey if it gets the job done. And running him a nice bath, yep I would do that. I often run my DP a bath and he does so for me. If he is a useless at washing as you suggest and getting angry and annoyed isn't working I dont see the harm in trying to make it something he would look forward to (sharing it with you) rather than a chore.

Having said that, I seem to have had the luck of only being with very clean unsmelly men. My kindness in running baths may well disapear if i was faced with a strong stench.

Original poster
BobPatandIgglePiggle · 26/04/2014 08:27

We've not got a shower (see up there ^ about him also being lazy about fitting the bloody thing)

And there is no way on earth I'm getting into a bath of his ming.

In the end I went to bed early and couldn't be fussed battling him last night. It's his turn for a lie in but when he gets up I'm making him get a bath AND change the bed.

OP posts:
Back2Two · 26/04/2014 08:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

CoffeeTea103 · 26/04/2014 08:34

Yanbu! It's definitely not a 'bloke' thing. My DH and I shower twice a day, I couldn't even imagine not showering for a day.Shock

Notfootball · 26/04/2014 08:36

Good grief, YANBU. He must be used to his own stench by now, he probably can't even smell it. Poor you, he's disgusting.

SnakeyMcBadass · 26/04/2014 08:41

It is not a 'bloke thing'. Eugh. I honestly wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with an adult who couldn't keep to basic hygiene standards. He's failing at being an adult. Sexy.

BrokenToeOuch · 26/04/2014 08:42

Bleurgh, Yanbu, he sounds like a lazy arse. It most definitely is NOT a 'bloke thing', dp has showered every day, often twice, in the last 12 years except 3 when he's been very ill (separately, not all together!). I wouldn't be going anywhere near the same bed as someone who hadn't had a proper wash in a week Shock

kentishgirl · 26/04/2014 08:57

It is not a 'bloke thing' - although I must admit the only stinky dirty people who soap dodge have been blokes. But it's not normal, it's not ok, and even other men take the piss out of them. Someone OH knows is called Stinky Mark by all the others - they say things to him about showering and he just grins and laughs, he seems to think they are just joking around. Presumably he believes being filthy is a 'bloke thing' as well, and that they are fooling around with him, and hasn't noticed that no one wants to stand next to him.

Every man I've been in a relationship with has bathed/showered at least every other day. That was the habit of one of them. Every other one has bathed/showered daily.

Gross.

Notfootball · 26/04/2014 09:23

Actually, my friend's DH is a soap dodger and he comes out on social occasions smelling of BO. When we are having a girls night out, apparently he has a bath to tempt her to stay home, i.e. a promise of sex.

Revengeofthechocolatebunny · 26/04/2014 09:29

I have just boiled the kettle to be able to have an all over wash as we have no hot water and haven't since Thursday when they installed our new energy saving boiler.

It saves tons of bloody energy as it doesn't bloody well work! Our fuel bills will be in minus figures at this rate.

But it doesn't stop me keeping clean!

OP YANBU to expect your DP to not ming! Ugh!

Ludways · 26/04/2014 09:48

Get a telly that can go in a bathroom , bet he'll bath every night.

Quinteszilla · 26/04/2014 09:56

Take control woman! Get swbody in to do the shower!!

MamaLazarou · 26/04/2014 12:35

Maybe he has rabies and it is hydrophobia.

Lilaclily · 26/04/2014 12:37

is he in the bath op Grin

Fairylea · 26/04/2014 12:40

Absolutely disgusting.

I'm guessing you have no sex life with him? I couldn't bring myself to kiss yet alone shag someone who didn't shower everyday..

Ban him from the bed.

I don't think I could even stay married to someone who washed so little. I'd just find it (and the smell) really offensive.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 26/04/2014 12:41

Sweaty ballsack
7 day old knob cheese
Grimy arse crack
Cheesy feet
Foul. What is wrong with him? How can you tolerate his stank?

mumofthreepickles · 26/04/2014 13:19

My DH is a stinker who needs to shower twice a day or he honks to high heaven.
This morning I found a skid mark on the bottom sheet of our bed.
Ugh. Stig of the Dump. Literally.

Ruushii · 26/04/2014 13:30

Once every three days? Dirty fucker.

I don't know how people can be attracted to people who can't be arsed to clean themselves (barring health reasons).

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