to put off having babies for dream job?

[Aberdeen3]

I am a teacher on a temporary contract. I hate it!! Been a teacher a long time and the job is draining my soul! I am married with no children. We had talked about having a baby this year. But now my dream job (out of teaching) has come up. It is twice the money, half the hours and very local. My hubby is supportive of whatever I do, but I'm worried about putting off babies again, as this job is for one year initially, with "the likelihood of becoming permanent" according to the big guns. So...do I stay in the safety net of teaching and have have babies, or take this risk and make a hell of a lot more dosh and put off babies a bit longer? I'm 30 btw!

Take the job and start TTC in 6 months or so.

I had my children at 29 and 34. And that was back in the day when having your first after 25 made you an 'old mum'! You have time. Take the job.

If you enjoyed your current job or were 35, it might be different. Take the job and start TTC about 8 months in.

Definitely take the job. That way when you are pregnant you'll be in a much better position re maternity leave and going back to work.

I speak from bitter experience OP. I took voluntary redundancy after I had my first baby and its taken five years to get a decent job with the hours I want and a good salary. I worked in the meantime but on fixed term contracts socials have a gap of months before I found something else.

You're still young. I had my first at 37 and second at 40. All concieved on the first attempt and me suffering from PCOS. I'm not saying you won't have fertility issues but even if you do you're young enough to get help.

Never underestimate the importance of being in a secure job you love.

You say your job"is draining your soul". That's more than just disliking it. Don't you think that it would be better for your future kids to have a mother whose soul is not being drained?! You have found not only a way out but more money and something that inspires you. There's a risk that the grass is not as much greener as you think it might be, but without kids to worry about you can give it your all and you'll not be left wondering. You'll get a million different viewpoints on here but I'd say that at 30 you have loads of time left. Might be worth asking your DH his view though- timing is as much his choice as yours.

Also, your career could last for another 30 years, your kids will be gone in 18-20. Makes sense to get it right now.

Definitely take the job. Start TTC in a year or 18 months. Still plenty of time to get help if there are any fertility issues. (I'm 9 weeks with #1, aged 32 and will be 33 when baby is born).

30 is really young i conceived 1st at 34

If you were 35 I'd say think carefully about your fertility, but at 30 I'd take the job, definitely. I think it would be useful to consider your fertility though - make sure you're as healthy as possible yourself, and maybe get some blood tests done as they can give an approximation of fertility. Does early menopause run in your family?

Unless you are desperate to have a baby now, I would take the job. Teaching does not sound much of a safety net if it is already draining your soul and your teaching job is temporary anyway. And if you are already drained without a baby, think how much worse it will be going back after maternity leave.

Even without the new job being a 'dream job' there are family friendly advantages with it being 'twice the money, half the hours and very local' should you have a baby later if could put off TTC for a year or 2. And I think the timing is perfect having TTC just after turning 32 and having DS just before turning 33.

Re. Teaching - It's not even the hours, so much as the complete lack of flexibility. I have never seen my dd's school assembly or sports day. I have never been in for parent workshops or anything else that happens during the school day unless it happens to fall on my one day off a week. If you are a full time teacher, you have no chance of doing any of those things at all! Most other people have the option of being able to either re-organise working hours for that day, or booking a day's leave. Teachers never have that chance or choice.

I'm not saying that teaching is the only job that is not family friendly. What I said is that teaching is one of the least family friendly jobs and I absolutely stand by that.

God, id take the job like a shot if its your dream job and actually far better conditions and even fewer hours than the current one which you loathe! Do it for say a year, and then try for a baby. You can then take ML and have a great job to Return to. Win win !

Do it, wait till you are permanent though before you TTC. And don't wait forever, but30 is still young enough to have a bit of time before you have to worry about things.

Take the job then start TTCing in about 6 months time. The problem is that even with perfect fertility you might take 12 months to conceive or you might take 1 month. No one knows.
But don't put if off longer than 12 months. I kept putting it off and now I'm 39 and facing round 3 of IVF. In fairness my problem is blocked tubes which wold have been there regardless, but my age hasn't helped.

take the job! I had DC at 27 and 30, wish I had waited a bit and established a career tbh. Now I am 34 and applying for jobs I wouldn't have looked at 10 years ago. While lots of my 34 yo friends are just having their first and are on a high wage with great maternity package.

I think you could leave it a couple of years but I wouldn't leave it any longer. We started ttc when I was 32 and it took us 5 years - and we were both fit and healthy.